Struggling with body image and weight gain

[BlueberryBurst]

Please be kind. I know a lot of my thoughts here are not rational and even a little bit toxic. I just need someone to give me a compassionate reality check.

I'm now 17 weeks pregnant which means I conceived over a very indulgent Christmas / New Year period. Because of that I'm not 100% sure what my starting weight was but it was in the normal BMI range and I'm generally a very active person (swim, run, yoga multiple times a week).

My first trimester was horrible. I could barely leave the house because of exhaustion, and ate constantly to try and stop naseua. For the last few weeks I've generally being feeling good and back to my normal routine and diet.

But now I'm really worried about my weight gain. I've put on somewhere between 6 and 10 lbs already which is already above what is recommended. Knowing that my mind has basically gone into autopilot and tells me i need to drastically cut calories and lose weight to get it down to the recommended or even the lower end of the recommended weight gain. I 100% know that is a bad idea but then when I read all the problems I can cause putting on too much weight it scares me.

And of course its not 100% about me worrying about protecting my pregnancy. The other thing is that I keep seeing posts about "fit pregnancy" and bump progressions photos where the size of full term bumps are as big as mine is today. I just feel so fat and like I've lost a piece of myself.

I don't have a history of eating disorders but just normal body image hangups that anyone else who grew up in the 90s probably has. And I'm just finding pregnancy and all the changes to my body really hard to deal with. Its hard to tell anyone in real life cos it sounds so superficial.

I’m not an expert by any means but I just wanted to say that if you have worries and fears that are affecting your wellbeing, then they aren’t trivial, so please don’t worry about people judging you or thinking you’re superficial. Pregnancy is so hard for so many reasons - one of the big ones being that our bodies are going through so many big changes in such a short space of time.

While it would be easy for anyone to say don’t worry about it, it’s all for your baby, etc, your wellbeing is as important as your physical health. For this reason I would 100% recommend talking to your midwife and getting a perinatal mental health referral. Right now it might not be hugely serious and you might only need a little bit of support, but if this continues to play on your mind it could grow into something more serious and you don’t want to have to be dealing with that once the baby’s here. The earlier you get some support, the better you’ll be able to deal with these feelings.

I have no advice, just commenting to be able to come back here easily as I feel the same as you honestly, just with some differing details.

Slightly different story to you OP - I had (what I think was) hyperemesis for my first 2 and a half months solid or there abouts, unable to have anything solid go anywhere near my mouth without gagging and vomiting. Losing weight. Lived off of Actimel's and then Complan just to get by as I was so exhausted from not eating.

Now that that's over I am INSATIABLY hungry.

Just today I've had what I know is wayyy to much food and I'm still SO bloody hungry.
I don't even want to imagine what I'm going to end up looking like weight-wise at the end of all this and I'm only coming up to my 20 week scan this month!
I feel awful about it (especially my bloody chin/neck 😭 ) but the hunger pangs are just so horrendous that I literally cannot ignore them.

I used to only really have one meal a day and maybe a snack if I felt I needed one, now I'm on 3 meals a day and I just feel so self conscious about it!

Hi Op,

so…I can completely relate to this and I will tell you a bit about myself for context. When I got pregnant I was working with a coach for my nutrition and training. This may sound big headed but I would say I was in very good shape, visible abs, a size 6-8. I was 9st.4 when I got pregnant.

I put on a lot of weight ( can’t remember precisely how much) in my first trimester, it did slow down in the second but picked up again in the third. I stopped going to the gym because I was so tired but also felt self conscious. My bump was huge as I also had high fluid so I got a lot of comments about how big I was. I’ve never had an eating disorder so to speak but have always been mindful of food and my image so this wasn’t particularly nice even though people think because you’re pregnant it’s different.

anyway the day before I gave birth I weighed 12.10 so I put on 3 and a half stone. Coming out of hospital I was 11.8 so Lost just over a stone instantly. I am now 9 weeks postpartum and I am 10.3 so less than a stone to go before I return to my pre baby weight. My boobs have also gone from a DD to a H due to breastfeeding. When I came out of hospital and saw my body I felt distraught even though I knew it was all for an amazing purpose, so much of my identity was tied into the gym, fitness and image and I felt like that had vanished. However at around 7 weeks I started to see that I was starting to look a lot better and feeling like myself again. I’m not where I want to be..obviously but I’m confident that with work I will get back to it. I’m sure this will be the same for you. For now there is no point people saying ‘love your body’ because I just couldn’t but know that it is temporary and you will start to feel like you and get your identity back plus the addition of your beautiful baby :) hang in there OP it’s miserable but temporary! X

Also just to say I don’t think worrying about your weight or how you look is a mental health concern. I think it’s normal and that most women go through it but not many would be as honest.

Recovered anorexic here. 🙋‍♀️
currently 18W+1 pregnant.

Well…I’ve read into the topic…for obvious reasons. I’ve definitely chubbed up. I saw my weight go up without overindulging. I didn’t have HG or extensive hunger/cravings and I’ve kept a largely healthy diet. I do live on a healthy balanced diet, I did before the pregnancy and it’s still fairly balanced, I have occasional days of indulgence, today for example. I randomly craved oatmeal porridge with strawberry jam, but I was on the road and that is such a dish that you can’t obtain in random services…so what I did instead was buy 3 crispy kreme doughnuts, I ate two on spot and the third one about 3 hours later. Do I believe I done well? No. But what do all women that have been pregnant have said about these things? They say it’s pointless fighting it, as long as it’s not Pika and we are craving diesel or what not.
the thing is, during pregnancy our body is predisposed to store “reserves” for when we start to breastfeed. It’s a natural response, we’ve come to this through evolution and we are supposed to be chonky when we are expecting. Our body will retain the majority in the legs, hips. Our backs will gain mass even, because body is preparing mass to support the belly. Our hands get soft and wiggly. Majority of the retention is water, a part of it is the fact that we produce more blood, up to 50% more blood is produced by our bodies, because we have to circulate it to the baby. The blood needs to be somewhere so we gain mass, our heart is working very hard and our blood vessels are affected. Our whole body changes. Best you can do really is keep exercising (in a healthy way, with exercises that will benefit your body NOW not pre pregnancy program). Research shows that ladies who keep active before and during the pregnancy have quicker labours, easier body recovery(in terms of split muscle recovery, metabolistic bounce back.) of course you can limit what you eat, I do aswell. Stick to a healthy, protein packed diet with occasional carbs. Consume protein from dairy, eggs. Eat grains, choose a healthy bread, avoid deep fried stuff. There’s no point cutting out doughnuts and cakes if you crave them, just maybe time them, let’s say, don’t be afraid to have them in the morning (because that’s when body is most efficient burning off carbs into energy rather than storage), if you’re craving this stuff in the evening have a small yoghurt maybe, if you’re craving crisps have some popcorn instead. Opt for sweet potato instead of simple oven fries (it’s proven to regulate our blood sugar).

FYI- My pre pregnancy weight was ranging from 115 to 119 pounds and I am 5’4 so I was fit. Last I checked my weight was around end of first trimester and I had gained about 10-11 pounds. I stopped weighting myself, it’s pointless… it just adds fuel to the fire.

Thanks guys I feel better just knowing I'm not totally alone in feeling like this!

I think I'm going to speak to my midwife and see how concerned she is about my weight gain. (The hospital I go to lets you self report your weight so gonna have to be really strong and not lie hah).

Im hoping that now I'm staying active and not living off beige food the weight gain will slow down? And probably that's all I can do at this point. I think its also not helped that I'm probably at the peak point of having obviously put on loads of weight but not being obviously pregnant :(

I'm 19 weeks and could have written your post word for word, except I now also have PGP so the pain is making me extra depressed which makes me eat more and because of the PGP I can't exercise. This is actually making me cry.

I never expected to be so upset about this. I'm so scared of how fat I will be and how long it's going to take to lose it. I only get 4 months off work so i don't even have a lot of time to do much about the weight. I'll have to go back to work looking like a middle aged sleep deprived whale. I shouldn't care, but I do.