Depressed & worried about weight gain...

[Maria2007]

Hi girls,

I'm Maria, 21+5 weeks pregnant, and this is my first pregnancy.

I feel a bit weird writing this & complaining, because I'm SO happy to be pregnant after having to have ICSI to get here... However, this last week I've been feeling a bit down & depressed about weight gain, so thought I'd get some advice from you experts out there!

So: I'm at that stage of pregnancy- just now entering the 6th month- where the weight is creeping on at an alarming rate, and I'm just feeling heavier & more uncomfortable by the minute! I literally can FEEL my bump stretching & tightening if you know what I mean, and I get achey feelings all the time. It doesn't help that I have to sit on a chair in front of a computer all day working (my work involves writing/researching)... Yesterday I put on my gym clothes to go to pregnancy yoga (which I've enjoyed so far) but in the end I didn't go just because I felt bad about the weight I've put on...

If I could I would try to diet a bit, or at least reduce quantities... but unfortunately it's very difficult to diet not only because it's not healthy for the baby, but also because of the constant hunger! I've tried to cut out sweets & desserts in the last few days but- at least for now- it doesn't seem to make a difference, I'm putting on weight so quickly! I really wonder- how much BIGGER am I going to get?!

To give you an idea, I've put on 18.7 pounds so far... And I'm just now getting to 22 weeks.... I'm not sure what's normal because this is my 1st pregnancy... which is why I thought I'd ask for advice. The funny thing is that I put all this weight on in the last 2 months, so in the 4th & 5th month of pregnancy... And I wasn't really thin to begin with, my BMI was 26, so I started being size 14 (had been comfort-eating at IVF time)...

Oh well. Complaining over. I guess I should accept my fate for the moment & surrender! But any advice would really be welcome because I'm feeling very uncomfortable these days...

You have just hit the hungriest stage of pregnancy. As long as you eat healthily, you won't put on excess weight. But I warn you, anything up to 3 stone is normal. You must surrender, you cannot control this, your body is going to look very different and nothing you do will stop that happening. You are going to get heavier, and your stomach is going to get bigger and will most likely stretch. It is very uncomfortable for some people and you have my sympathy.

You're probably feeling a bit down and depressed because of the hormones, not just the weight thing. It's perfectly normal. We all get down sometimes even when we are thrilled to be having a baby. Don't feel guilty about it.

Please try not to worry about the weight gain. Everybody gains at different rates, and at different stages of pregnancy. I really don't think there is a normal. I haven't even weighed myself, (I'm 25 weeks), and nor has the midwife since the booking in appointment. I feel like I'm putting loads on, but I know that breast feeding and rushing around after the baby will help afterwards. There's no harm in trying to eat more healthily if you can manage it, but good luck to you, I say. I'm hungry all the time and castantly wanting chocolate, bread, ice cream etc. Dieting isn't a good idea, but you know that anyway.

Apparently swimming is good to help with the fitness and with the aches and pains. I say apparently, as I haven't been for months!

Congrats by the way. Only a few months to go.

Swimming would be great, but that would mean I would have to be brave enough to appear publicly in a swim suit, and I just COULDN'T....

MARIA .....if you feel you need bravery you havent got to go to the swimming pool..........god help you on the labour ward!!!! get gone bumps are baby incubators you will look lovely ,,,,well as nice s nyone can with wet hir and running mascara.....

Sounds to me that your weight gain is completely normal. Remember this weight is not fat - it is extra water, blood, placenta and most importantly a baby!
I am 26 weeks, and I have put on just over a stone. I have made some attempts to be healthy, but the biscuit tin keeps beckoning... I think I will worry about it later. EEC is right breastfeeding and running around helps shift it!

congratulations.
Your weight gain is absolutely fine. You've hit the time when you'll be hungriest. Towards the end it will slow down as you'll have less space and probably heartburn too.

Just concentrate on eating the right foods (nutrient rich) to make you and baby healthy.

Remember you are not getting fat, you are pregnant.

I don't think you have put too much weight on at all. In my last pregnancy I put on 3 1/2 stone. I was very light before though, so probably needed to put on extra. I swam loads about 3 miles a week, but I still put on all that weight. However, I felt strong, supple and confident. I did have an aching back but the swimming and walking also helped. I am so glad I exercised and I wasn't weak because I was in labour for 3 days. Also, I lost all the weight in about 5 months, and looked the same as I did before, so don't you worry, you will be lovely during pregnancy and lovely afterwards. In fact I would say that I don't know anyone out of my friends who looks different now after having their babies. They all seem to have got back into shape, so it is only a temporary thing. I am pregnant again now and at 14 weeks I have already put on 8 pounds. Unfortunately I have not been able to do so much swimming because I have been so sick, however, it is getting better, so I shall start again soon.

i woulds suggest lots of walking to keep the heart rate up and to help burn some excess calories. just eat well and you will be fine, if you breast feed that will help use some of the extra calories you have gained. i put on a couple of stone during my pregnancy and to be honest i was my pre preg shape within a week. remember that alot of the weight is not actually you but the placenta which weighs just as much as the baby, the extra blood pumping around your body and the extra cup or two of your boobies! it all adds up.

Message withdrawn

Maria like other posters have said you sound lovely and perfectly normal- pregnancy is one of those times when your appetite has absolutely no relation to a "healthy" weight and so go ahead and give yourself permission to not feel guilty at eating whatever you want.

We are expected to love being pregnant but nobody warns you it does odd things to your sesnse of self! Strange things happening to your body shape and how it feels can be really disconcerting.

There is a saying that as baby weight takes nine months to put on, its only reasonable to expect it to take at least that amount of time to come off. And come off it will (esp if bf ime) so try not to worry too much.

This is really one of the only times in your life when you can indulge in whatever you want (within reason of course!) so be kind to yourself and head to the nearest shop that sells your style of treat.

Good luck

xxx

I found this chart really helpful www.parentingweekly.com/pregnancy/pregnancy_health_fitness/weightgain_chart.htm# - click on the chart to enlarge it. It shows you are within the normal range.

Also bethoo who was back to normal shape within a week - some people will be this lucky but not many - very few I knew. I only gained 24lbs my last pregnancy and I knew some who gained up to 4 stone - but we all lost it and it took us all 6-9 months to lose it completely. It didn't matter I'd gained less, it took me just as long to lose it as those who'd gained more, and everybosy went back to normal in the long run! So don't worry - you will too!

Hi Minkus (and hi to the others too)

It's very true that pregnancy can feel much more disconcerting than I had expected, my body is changing at some a rapid pace... But at the same time it feels lovely, especially getting all those kicks from my little boy

I am planning to breastfeed if I can, so I'm hoping that will help with losing the weight... but for now your messages really have helped!

We all feel fat and ungainly MAria. You are not alone!

I'm also in the same situation and starting to feel a bit down about it - I never thought I would! I never gave my weight a thought before. All of the replies have helped me loads as well, so thank you. I'm just scared I won't be able to loose it afterwards, but deep down I know it is possible and it will come off again...

Sitting bull-

Your story has REALLY helped, thanks so much... Actually, it's interesting what you describe, because one of the pregnancy books I've read ('The girlsfriends guide to pregnancy') says the exact same thing. In her case, she has 4 children, so had 4 very different pregnancies. In two of them (from what I remember) she was extremely careful about what she ate & exercised obsessively throughout the pregnancies. In the other one she did the opposite, just let herself eat when she wanted (not to an extreme of course). And in her 4th pregnancy she had to be on bedrest for months. However, at the end of all her pregnancies, she had incredibly put on almost the exact same amount of weight (exactly like you describe). This feels so counter-intuitive and yet it helps to know that there's something so uncontrollable about the whole process... I guess for us women who have concerns about weight, it's very hard to relinquish control, but reading everyone's posts here, and reading your story in particular, is certainly helping me think...

That said, I am planning to continue bravely with my pregnancy yoga (which I love but haven't been going due to feeling down about my weight gain)... I also plan to walk more, so watch this space!

Thanks again to everyone. If you have more similar stories (or worries) please keep them coming, I'm sure they help us all...

Maria

I put on lots of weight last time, but then I ate at a unmentionalbe establishment every day for the last two months. I also had big roast dinners about 5 times a week and drank gallons of full fat milk.

This time I have done much better I have stayed away from the junk food, and have drunk semi skimmed milk.

Don't ask about the Wotzits and triffles though, cause I'm not tellin'

Maria, don't give up yoga.
It will help you stay tuned to your body and alleviate some weight related problems like backache.
Take care!