just a rant more than anything I guess im 30 weeks
just feel down my family dont ask me how I am ever, my siblings havent asked me once how I am and they know im doing this pregnancy alone 100% for the time being , ive had a very hard time with my partner, hes from another country and I got pregnant visiting him, he cant come here until after the baby is born on a parent visa (very lonely and sad time for me ) but he is amazing and is the only person who checks in on me
and you know when you just sit and think, wow no ones actually asked me how are you or let me know if you need anything this whole 30 weeks...
but yet they expect to be in my baby's life, but havent been there while ive been pregnant at all..
my living situation is my huge depressing factors I live with one family member (until my partner can come well be moving out straight away will be about 4 months after shes born,) who is so set in her ways she is truly the most negative depressing person ever, I actively avoid her sometimes not eating till 5pm as I stay in my room and wait till shes gone out to go and eat or im bombarded with talking for hours sometimes about random things all negative about war, the news, how my baby future is doomed because the world etc.
anything you say she has a bad story/ negative thing to say, she comments on my eating "your not going to eat all that are you?!, "oh more food.." im a size 8 not over weight so what's with the comments.
shes nosey, rude about my baby things I brought said im disgusting for buying my baby a second hand Dresss.. brand new might I add.
anything I say pregnancy related she has a terrible scary story about the pain, how I wont coupe, now everything or anything I do or struggle with its oh how will you coupe with this or that with a baby,
even my own mother when I said im going to try breastfeed she said why would I want to do that, then the person I live with says im wrong for not sterilising my baby bottle with Milton when ma'am bottles arent needed to be sterilised with that,
I cant explain how draining it is I swear if my partner was here I wouldn't talk to my family at all..
yes I pay rent to live here, I work from home and make decent Money I thought about getting an air b and b to live till mypartner comes but I feel like thats a lot of money to waste
my mum has to be my birthing partner even tho I dont even want anyone there but almost feel this is worse I swear I wish I could live alone and do it alone
just also annoys me how like I said earlier not one person in my family since finding out has really asked me if I need help with anything, or if im ok even! but they expect to come over and see her as soon as shes born not happening ill be gone as soon as my partner can come.
my family even all took the piss out of me as I asked if one of them was ill when they came here not to see me but the person I live with and they all said why does it matter got annoyed I said I dont want to get sick at 30 weeks pregnant
sorry for the long post im just drained I know as soon as my partner comes all will be Fine as im only happy with him Its made it so hard he cant be here for any of this and not how I wanted my first pregnaxy o be especially with a shit family and nearly 0 support yet they expect to hold my baby and see her like shes a fucking doll.
I know im strong and soon this will be a distant memory, ive been through every bad thing in my life with no family support, but for now this is the loneliest thing ive ever been through