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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

What is supportive vs Annoying from friends when you're about to pop?

6 replies

SunnyDays325789 · 02/04/2024 22:10

I have a very pregnant friend who hasn't really been communicating the last week or so and baby could come any time now. I would consider us good friends (but not best friends) and I think at times she's taken on more of a big sister role to give context for the dynamic. We've gotten closer during her pregnancy even though I don't have any kids. I've tried to be supportive throughout the entire thing and she told me a few weeks ago she really appreciated everything.

I last saw her in person about a month ago but typically talk via text every few days and everything was totally normal until a week ago. But for about a week now she has pretty much stopped texting and I've had to keep double texting to get any response at all. I'm just worried if everything is okay but I don't want to bother her and know she's probably just tired/overwhelmed. I most recently reached out with random chatter and asked how she was feeling. She responded to the random chatter but didn't acknowledge how she was feeling or anything baby related and then again stopped responding.

She lives across the country from me so I can't just drop off food or something but I plan to send her another gift once the baby is born.

My main thing is that I want to make sure I'm showing up without overstepping or annoying. I want her to know that she can talk to me (and I've already told her that) and I really want to know that everything is okay.

All that to say, for others in this position what would you want from a friend during this time? Should I wait until I hear something from her (hopefully an announcement text) or should I reach out again? I'm not sure if she just doesn't want to talk about being pregnant but would want to talk about other things, but it seems rude to not ask how she's doing.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MumChp · 02/04/2024 22:12

Could you agree with her to txt the partner for an update? If she isn't up to a lot.

Applesandpears23 · 02/04/2024 22:18

I am at 39 weeks and my child free friend keeps texting - thinking of you - every week. I think it is a bit weird but I get that she’s trying to stay in touch so I try to remember to text back. If it is first baby she’s probably just in a bubble. This is my third and after I have dealt with the kids I don’t want to do anything else even text friends.

Sunshineclouds11 · 02/04/2024 22:21

Obv can't speak for your friend but my last 2 weeks of pregnancy I was so bloody tired. I slept for hours.
Texts got replied to when I could be bothered or not at all if I read and forgot.

I would give her some space and I'm sure she'll be in touch once baby is here.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 02/04/2024 22:43

As someone with two small children I'd prefer you not to text all the time. Especially if she's clearly not in the mood.

Let her come to you!

PixieTrance89 · 03/04/2024 10:29

I wanted to be left alone in late pregnancy so maybe she feels the same, she will most likely get back to communicating again after baby is born

ab03 · 03/04/2024 14:49

I'd take a step back, sounds like you've already shown her that you are there for her. Once I got close to due date I felt like people texting me were putting extra pressure on me for updates when I was impatient enough myself for the baby to come! I think around 80% babies are born after their due date so she could have a bit of a wait. She'll probably tell you when the baby arrives then go a bit quiet while everything is chaos for a few weeks, then later on in maternity leave she'll be very grateful for conversation with an adult again, and maybe for someone to send photos to and tell her how lovely her baby is!

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