Tried to conceive for 8 months and now pregnant feeling like I don’t want to be anymore

[LuckySloth]

I’m wondering if anyone else has felt this way bit of back story / context:

Me and my partner have been together for quick a while we both agreed to start trying last year and each month have been really upset we haven’t , this month we have found out I’m pregnant!! My initial thoughts were amazing so excited & over the moon but now I’m started to feel like nervous but in a way I don’t think it’s a good idea, I don’t want things to change with my and my partner and reading all theses changes that are going to happen with our sex life ect and I’m really scared things are going to change with us in a bad way and I don’t want that. I’m scared which is expected I guess but did anyone else feel like this? I’m happy but thinking maybe it’s not a good idea because I’m scared things are going to change for worse & my partner will fall out of love with me for how my body will change.

Any advice?

Firstly congratulations! Secondly, it’s all really normal. Remember you’ve got some crazy hormonal changes going on right now and it’s normal to worry about how life will change now that it’s all a reality.

With my first child, I panicked at the thought of how my life would change. Personally I won’t sugar coat it - your life is going to change but the positives far outweigh the tough times. You might not be able to go on all dayers with your other half or going out shopping without thinking about feeds and nappies but those times are short lived. Before you know it, the baby will be older and you’ll be able to do a little more and more every day.

Basically, you’re not alone and everything you feel is valid. I always remember a video I saw of someone saying, ‘what else will you be spending your time doing if you’re not being someone’s parent? Drinking? Buying things that you’ll forget about in 6 weeks? Being someone’s parent is the greatest honour in the world’. Obviously there’s more that people do with their spare time but I loved the latter part.

I think everyone who's had a positive pregnancy test feels that way. I know I did! There would be something not right if the thought of such a massive life change didn't scare you a bit. But you'll get through it all. After your scans you'll start to look forward to it a bit more.

The exact same thing happened to me. We were trying for around 6 months and when we finally saw the positive test we both felt a bit surreal. I also had a huge wave of panic like a "what have I done?!" moment and worrying that I had ruined my life.

It's a huge life change that is finally being realised so it's completely normal to feel that way! I think I had this on and off panic for about 2 weeks, then I started worrying about her constantly- why didn't I feel sick, why did I feel sick, is she okay, why do my boobs hurt, why have my symptoms vanished etc and you're initial panic and worry turns into care and love for your baby

I'm now 26 weeks and I am so excited to meet our little baby and I can't ever imagine thinking the thoughts I did at the very beginning. My partner and I are closer than we've ever been and it has made me fall even more in love with him thinking about the type of dad he will be and is already becoming for our unborn child.

Congratulations x

Hi @LuckySloth
I can identify with this so much and I have a bit of a tragic story. About 18 months ago my partner of four years and I decided to try for a baby, we tried for four months and were really happy to get pregnant. Literally two days after finding out, I got hit by a tsunami of anxiety, exactly as you say - I didn’t want to be pregnant anymore and felt depressed that I was. I couldn’t understand why I had decided to get pregnant in the first place. I felt really ill with the hormones and I started idealising my previous independent life. I became extremely anxious and depressed and eventually I terminated, desperate to feel different. A few hours later, it dawned on me that I had made the biggest mistake of my life and I went into a very dark place. I realised it had just been my hormones messing with my head, plus normal anxiety. I’ve always struggled with change. All of the stuff I had been thinking I’d miss just seemed meaningless, and we have been trying again ever since.
I would say it is normal, trust the you that decided to try and hang in there xx