40 & pregnant…. trying not to worry 🫨

[BostonMA]

Hello MN,

I am just over 5weeks +3 days pregnant ❤️. First time we werent trying and I got pregnant but ended in miscarriage at 7 weeks back in December, tried again in march and fell pregnant straight away. At 40 it seems I am fertile even though I have stage 4 endo and ancient 🤣

i thought the biggest issue at 40 would be conceiving. but now im pregnant I’m not relieved but so worried. I read all the
stats….and I’m petrified ….the rates of miscarriage, the potential genetic issues, egg quality, health complications of the mum, diabetes, placenta issues and it goes on and on.

My miscarriage was very traumatic which I know is causing a lot of the stress.

are there any older mums who feel the same? Or have positive stories?
or tips to just ride it out?

i feel the odds are really against me 😞

thank you for reading xx

I am 40 and 27 weeks pregnant. IVF so needed help but we started IVF when I was 30 so it's not my age that's the issue (male factor and low ovarian reserve)
Anyway I have had 2 miscarriages and several chemical pregnancies so can empathise.
This time I had 2 early scans at 6 and 8 weeks they really helped, but you just have to try and keep telling yourself worrying and being anxious won't change the outcome, I was so scared to even feel a bit positive incase I jinxed it and I regret that now..
I was concerned with being 'older' but none of the medical staff have been bothered at all it's pretty common for women in their 40s to be pregnant..you just get a bit of extra looking after.
I really feel for you just try and take each day at a time and try to stay as positive as you can..xx

I was older than you with our 3rd and we had a healthy baby girl. So one of the good stories.

More of my peer group had babies in their 40’s than 20’s @BostonMA 😍

I am 42, and have an 18 month old who was born just after my 41st Birthday, and also an 8 year old. We paid privately to have a NIPT test done to rule out any of the three trisomies. All was fine, and she's awesome.

I'm 44 and have a bouncing 2 year old. My pregnancy was fairly straightforward and my baby was healthy. There are more risks certainly- but there are risks with every pregnancy. As an older mum you get more scans and are under consultant care. They will probably want to induce you early but you have the right to refuse.

I actually feel like I'm a better, more confident mum this time (I have an older child) - more chilled out, less worried etc. although I'm tired 😴

Try not to worry - que sera sera etc

I had a healthy pregnancy at 36, then a miscarriage, then a healthy pregnancy at 40, born just after i turned 41.

i was a MESS during that last pregnancy - terrified, anxious, googling every possible bad outcome both due to my age and the previous miscarriage (which was very hard). So a terrible 9 months. But she was born bonnie and bouncing. Sometimes your brain is your worst enemy.

It's really hard not to worry, I know. Everyone will tell you it'll be fine, and it will be. Just accept you will worry, it's natural. Try to think of it as an experience I guess?! I had my third at 40 so not quite the same but the birth was the easiest by far.

Hey ladies

thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate your messages.
It’s true…nothing will change the outcome and it is great to hear so many lovely stories.
we have an early viability scan in a few weeks and I’m so scared 😟 but it won’t change the outcome x

It's normal to feel apprehensive. I had my third at 40. I found it helped to go to every midwife appointment armed with a list of questions/things that were worrying me. Just getting them out there helped a lot. I also discovered that many of my female maternal ancestors had given birth to healthy babies over the age of 40 - not sure if it means anything, but it gave me some comfort at the time 😊

Congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope it all goes well for you