Feeling deflated

[lulu1311]

Hi ladies,
I have a feeling the outcome isn’t going to be good and i’ll know more tomorrow when i go back for further bloods/ scan but wanted to come on here anyway to chat.

My last period was 2/2/24, i believe i would’ve ovulated on 23rd or usually 21 days from my last period. Tested positive on Mother’s day (10/3), about a week after missed period.

I went in to have bloods/ scan done the next day as was told to come back as soon as i get a positive due to history of ectopic this time last year:
11/3: hcg 27 progesterone 43
13/3: hcg 42 (only 40 hours between tests)
15/3: hcg 101
Scan on 11/3 showed nothing and was told this is a pregnancy of unknown location, which seemed obvious as I only had a faint positive and knew it was still early, so held onto hope.

Had some light bleeding on 20/3 which lasted about a day and a half - after straining in the loo. No cramps.

I was told to come back in a week and had bloods done yesterday (23/3), hcg result was 536 - should have been 1600. Scan showed no sac - again nothing visible. I decided to do a pregnancy test, line was strong and digital put me at 2-3 weeks (4-5 weeks according to leaflet). Consistent symptoms have been heavy/sore boobs and light cramps.

Sadly holding onto hope and can’t believe this is happening. As awful as it sounds i just hope it’s not another ectopic as i don’t want to lose another tube, I would much rather it’s a miscarriage. I had 2 miscarriages prior to last year’s ectopic and the whole ordeal of removing my tube and surgery was awful.

Any advice welcome, sorry it’s such a long read xxx

Hi @lulu1311 . So sorry you're going through this. I guess you may have had further results/scan by now? I had a similar experience with low and slow rising HCG last Autumn and got very scared of a possible ectopic. Just as they started planning methotrexate, my HCG started falling again and a scan at 7wks showed no clear pregnancy other than slightly thickened womb lining and some internal bleeding. I started bleeding later that night. Tbh by then it was a relief as I'd been so worried about possible ruptured etc. I think also because the HCG had been dodgy from the start I hadn't ever really invested much in the pregnancy. That was my third loss last year but I am currently (unexpectedly!) pregnant again - I caught straight after that last loss when we weren't even trying and I'm 20wks today. Saying that to hopefully give you some hope after recurrent loss and a similar experience.

However, that said, it's not over until it's over. Still early days and everything crossed for you that it's just had a slow start or something. If you want to, do let me know how you get on. Sending hugs and a hand hold. 💕

@SnookyPook Thank you so much for responding. I had a scan today and similarly, like you mentioned, my womb lining was slightly thicker than 2 days ago, only by a small amount and I had some bleeding, which if i’m right, doctor said could be the beginning of a sac developing but can’t be sure, they can’t see an ectopic just yet so i’m out of the woods - for now. It’s strange because i know i’m so early but the lack of hcg doubling is scaring the life out of me. I even went as far as packing my hospital bag waiting for an outcome, I so desperately want to hold onto this tube even if it doesn’t work out this time.

I got family more involved this time as I needed the support but it seems everyone around me is clutching at straws and this time, I have no idea what the outcome is going to be. I’m waiting for blood results which will paint a clearer picture. Doctor did say not to lose hope as it could go either way. The waiting game is agonising. Seems like it’s a repeat of this time last year going back and forth for bloods and scans. It’s so hard.

I’m pleased to hear you’re expecting again and that does give me hope :) 20 weeks sounds very exciting, did you find out the sex? :)

My heart goes out to all the women who have been through a similar experience of loss and confusion. I really appreciate you writing back - it helps to just talk to someone, it’s hard not to obsess/second guess, here’s hoping a miracle happens, but if it doesn’t i know i’m at a good place in life and will always be grateful. xx

Aw bless you - it doesn't sound like you've been given much clarity in the end. Are they getting back to you today with the bloods? And do they have a plan going forwards for further scans or will that follow on from blood results? It's just so horrible having to hang around waiting isn't it. I'm glad you've got good support around you. Sometimes it's more poignant when they are all clinging on to hope but how lovely to have people around willing the best for you. And they will be there to help you pick up the pieces if needed.

The good thing at least is that you are being taken seriously and looked after well. And what you said about being in a good place in life really resonated with me. TTC can be so all consuming and after 3 losses last year I struggled at times to see the other beauty around. Much as having a baby is an incredible thing there are lots of other joys in the world and remembering that, and focusing on trying to enjoy some of those things definitely got me into a better headspace.

I've got the scan on Thursday! Bit nervous but I think I'm feeling little movements now which is helping. And yes, we plan to find out 😊

I sincerely hope that if this one doesn't turn out to be your little rainbow, that they won't be far behind 🙏🏼🌈💕 And if you ever want to chat some more, I'm always happy to. X

@SnookyPook Hey lovely,
Doctor did say she’d push for a bloods result today but that didn’t transpire so I think i’ll know more first thing. She did say i’ll be back in on Weds or Thursday for more scans. I’ll feel a lot better when I speak to them in the morning, at least that will be something. You’re right, it’s a blessing to have my husband and family whose support means the world.

Honestly, the hospital has been amazing both times around and I know they’re doing everything they can to get answers. I cancelled my fertility appointment last week, so will have to go through the process again but having the option and support really does help.

Oddly, tonight I have had the worst nausea and can’t stomach the idea of eating anything. Also, where my breasts have been in agony and i’ve literally been carrying them around to stop the pain, now i’m just hoping those annoying symptoms don’t go away.

I really do wish you all the best at your scan, i’m excited for you 🤗It makes me so happy to know things are heading in the right direction for you, you deserve this Mama and I have a feeling you’ll do an amazing job of it. xx

Aw thank you 😊

I'm glad the hospital have been so great - I must say I was really impressed with mine too. You never know, maybe they'll be able to bump you up a bit on the queue given you'd only just cancelled.

Keeping everything crossed for better news at the next scan - interesting about the symptoms. I never got them with my weird HCG pregnancy so maybe it's a hopeful sign 🙏🏼

@SnookyPook I got my results back today for yesterdays bloods, they’re 831, so if my maths is correct my hcg levels are doubling every 72 hours exactly - not the 48 hours the hospital goes by. Google says 48-72 hours but when I mentioned that to them they said they only go by 48 hours as protocol. Also, when I got my result, it was put as “Unfortunately, your levels are going up” Very confusing!

I looked back at my ectopic notes from last year as an example my bloods went from 1010 to 1600 in 2 days so a similar trajectory here. Not sure what to expect but I go in on thursday for more scans! Looking forward to see what happens then.

@lulu1311 oh bless you. I hope Thursday provides better clarity. Such a shame you're having to go through all this uncertainty. Sending hugs xx

Can I join? I’m currently waiting to go back for my second blood tests tomorrow at 2.30pm after being diagnosed with pregnancy unknown location yesterday. Feeling soo anxious! HCG levels were 1.107. I am so confused what a “good” result would look like tomorrow.

hope it all goes well for you @lulu1311 what a horrible situation for us both to be in

Hi @northernsunshine Of course my love, sorry to hear you’re going through this.

Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with an ectopic in my left tube yesterday, since it’s my only remaining tube, i’ve been given medical management and have to be careful in the next few days to see how things unfold.

I did read that sometimes it’s hard to see anything till levels reach 1500 for some women. I completely understand, it is not easy, but please try to keep hope alive in this time. Your levels are supposed to double every 48 hours, at least that’s what i’m told and have read online, but saying that, i’ve also read about some pregnancies with slow rising hcg and they’ve had success. Like @SnookyPook wisely said, it’s not over till it’s over.

I hope you get a good outcome and please feel free to chat if it helps, you’re not alone, sending love.

@SnookyPook Hope your scan went well! I just wanted to say thanks for being there for me in my moment of need!! Wishing you well xx

@lulu1311 oh I'm so sorry to hear your update 😔 how are you doing? Sending you lots of love. 💗

So thoughtful of you to ask. My scan went well thankfully and we've a little boy on the way 💙 he's measuring very small though so been referred to fetal medicine for follow-up growth scans etc. Hard not to feel a bit nervous after previous losses but hoping it's nothing sinister.

Hope your little rainbow baby comes along for you soon. So unfair to have two ectopics in a row 😔

@SnookyPook Im actually doing okay. In these circumstances, i feel better having an answer as this is a dangerous situation to be in! I’m just hoping I don’t lose my tube, i think that will be the final nail in the coffin but staying positive nevertheless.

Congrats!! I am so pleased for you, that is great news! 💙 I can imagine 9 months must feel like forever, I have got everything crossed for you, please stay strong, you’ve got this. When do you see the specialists? Please keep us updated and know i’m here if you ever need a chat. xx

Aw thank you so much - next scan on 22nd April.

Yes I get that. My loss that was query ectopic was my most scary one and by the time I knew it wasn't viable I was just so thankful for no ruptures etc that it was a relief when it happened. Everything crossed for you that you get to keep your tube. I'm fairly sure I've even seen of people having kids after losing both though so even in that worst case scenario I'm sure there is a way to go. 💗

@lulu1311 I am sorry to read this, I was really rooting for you after reading this that everything would turn out ok 😭 .. I hope it goes well and they can save your tube. There are so many advances now, you will still have your babies.

This has been a very scary and isolating experience, my heart goes out to anyone in this situation.

@northernsunshine have you had any spotting or pains? I really hope you get a good result tomorrow and push for another scan if you can! My advice from experience is listen to your body and please be kind to yourself.
You are not alone as long if i can help it :) please don’t hesitate to reach out and keep us updated. I hope you’ll be in a position to give us some good news. Either way, here for you.

IVF is definitely an option but I feel a little traumatised as apparently that too can end up ectopic!! I’m going to give it time and then I will make a point of getting to the bottom of things and see how I go. Thank you both 😊xx

@lulu1311 haven’t had any bleeding, have had some pain in lower right area where I usually get period cramps .. it’s not super painful though just a bit like normal period cramps. Sonographer said there was no sign of any internal bleeding or blood in my uterus after my scan.

Currently waiting at the hospital now for my blood test, it will test my HCG and progesterone. Going to ask for a scan. Feeling so nervous about the results of the HCG, if it’s failing I’ll know what it means and equally rising doesn’t necessarily mean a good thing either but trying to stay positive.

thanks so much for your kind reply. So sorry you’re going through this too, how are you feeling today? I have told some family members to get it off my chest which has helped a bit so I feel less isolated. Husband is very kind and supportive but deals with things differently to me

@northernsunshine Hey, how did it go at the hosptial?
I am doing good thank you, been in some pain and ended up going to a&e last night and waited 6 hours but ended up coming home as scan showed no blood / rupture!
Glad you’ve been able to get support from family, it’s so important at this time! Yes agreed men deal with things differently xx

When will you get a result? ❤

Hi @lulu1311 got my results back, HCG on Saturday had gone up to 2,224 from 1,107 on Thursday. They said because they had risen by 99 per cent they didn’t need to do another round of bloods and have booked in me for a scan on Friday. Feel so nervous as I’ve read HCG can still double if ectopic.

how are you doing? Sorry to hear you ended up in A&E but great news about no rupture or blood! Xx

@northernsunshine Those numbers look good! There’s always the option of private reassurance scans. I had one last year for about £55 at window to the womb, i think they are scattered around the UK, worth looking into 😊
At this point your hcg levels are at the higher end and doubling so fingers crossed it’s all good on Friday! Honestly, I know levels can still double, but in both my experiences of ectopic, I didn’t have doubling figures at anything above 1000.
Also, i spoke to a lovely receptionist at window to the womb this year and she did say that 1000 can just still be too early to see anything in a scan and she sees a lot of it in her line of work. Let’s hope that is the case for you! If you do end up booking a private scan, they advised it’s ideal to space them out by at least a week. Sending positive vibes your way 💐

I’ve had a painful weekend, water bottle has been my best friend. The worst of it was on Saturday night and since then it’s become more manageable so hoping the drug has worked! I go for bloods at 9am tomorrow. xxx