Panic attacks about childbirth

[Begaydocrime94]

I’m 5 weeks so still really early days and it’s just hit me I am going to have to go through childbirth again. I’m really struggling with this. My first labour was pretty horrific, I was 21 and just had no idea what to expect. Went into labour early and cycled through all pain meds before literally begging for an epidural which I almost didnt get in the end. It was misery from start to finish. Now I’m here, hopefully I will be giving birth in November this year and it’s just hit me I’m going to have to go through it again? Made the mistake of googling epidural and just got so freaked out by the thought of a needle in my spine that I don’t think I can do it again but the alternative isn’t less horrific. I had two panic attacks yesterday just thinking about going through that again and whilst I’ve slept since and feel a lot better about it today I’m really, really scared. Am I going to get through this? The only thing that’s calming me down at the moment is thibking I don’t know what will happen and when the time comes the adrenaline will kick in and I’ll do what I need to do, but any words of advice, any calming thoughts, ideally anything about the second labour being easier than the first will help. What if I die? I just can’t stop circling round these thoughts at the moment and I’m just waiting for another panic attack at this point :(

@Begaydocrime94 have you thought about having an elective c-section so the experience is more controlled?

I had a cat 1 emcs with my first after a labour lasting almost two days. My second was 6 hours start to finish.

You can ask the hospital for a debrief about your first birth to help you plan for a second? Some women find this helpful.
You can also mention this anxiety to the midwife at your booking appointment so they can support you through this.
I had a difficult first delivery also with complications and I'm currently 4+4 with my second so know what you're going through!

Have a look at local hypnobirthing courses. Absolutely brilliant for women who are anxious or worried about labour.

To be honest, I don’t think I could do that either, I know that I may have to but the thought of that also freaks me out so much. Especially the fact that you’re obviously awake whilst you’re cut open 🫣

Thank you, I’ll have a look now!

I think knowing your options and being clued up on eventualities really helps anxiety about birth.
I’d recommend “the bump to baby chapter”, a course that you can purchase online and I found it invaluable. It’s a wonderful NHS midwife who has recorded informative videos you can watch. They’re short and you can dip in and out of them as you wish, which might be especially useful if you’re feeling overwhelmed and can only cope with snippets of info at a time.
I like having information - it makes me feel more prepared and I found I was very calm in my first labour because of all I’d learnt on this course. There are sections on hypnobirthing but If the is isn’t your thing you can just skip those parts and focus on the informative videos. She talks you through everything, from pain relief options to episiotomies. I felt there wasn’t much I could be faced with during birth that I hadn’t watched a video about by the time I’d finished the course.

I completely understand where your coming from, I'm 15 weeks with my 4th baby and whenever I think about giving birth again I feel panicky BUT an important thing to remember (and that I keep reminding myself) is that every birth is different, all of mine have been different. Also first births usually last longer and can be more stressful as you have no idea what to expect in regards to pain and how you'll deal with it. Yes there are things about your first birth you may not have been happy with but there nothing to say your second birth will be anything like the first. I second the pp who said talk with your midwife and definitely check out some hypnobirthing/positive birthing stuff, even if some of it seems abit silly to you, it really helps to get your mind into a better place.