How to stop worrying

[rmorris95]

I am 11 weeks pregnant with my first and had a reassurance scan at 8 weeks which showed everything is fine. Any tips on managing constant anxiety of a potential miscarriage/something going wrong? I have no reason to worry but my head feels all scrambled! Thanks!

Look to get some counselling, as it will become worse when baby is here.

Dont borrow worry.

if you imagine looking back on this pregnancy how do you want to have spent your time? What feelings do you want to remember?

Focus your time and effort on stuff that is positive - eat well, active relaxation eg yoga /meditation, get fresh air and exercise. Strengthen your body for labour. Do things you won't be able to do after birth like bar hop, go to cute pokey little no,Booking restaurants. See your friends. Sit and read all afternoon. Relish going round the toilet by yourself. Have loads of couple time.

Ah OP it is such an anxious time. I found the best thing was distraction (or, if it is beyond that, talk to your midwife or GP). Unless you’re very logically-minded, I don’t think any statistics will help you as there’s always a small chance of the ‘what if’. I used the miscarriage risk calculator online but didn’t find it very helpful as however reassuring the numbers were, they couldn’t predict what would happen in my pregnancy! In the end, all it did was remind me of what could go wrong and meant that I didn’t really get excited, share the news or prepare anything until much later in the pregnancy. If it helps, my worry diminished greatly at 24 weeks and now my baby is 7 months I rarely worry about anything. I know there will always be something to be anxious about with a child but I think the massive uncertainty of early pregnancy is unlike anything else.

@rmorris95 once you've seen a heartbeat at 8 weeks the odds really are in your favour. I was unfortunate to have 3 losses last year, but even the one that I didn't discover until 11+4 had unfortunately stopped developing before 8 weeks. It's true that no one can give any guarantees, but far more pregnancies than not will result in a healthy baby once they've got to the stage you're at now.

Try not to read threads about loss and problems as it doesn't help. I know all too well!! I'm currently 18+4 with my (hopefully!) rainbow baby so I absolutely get anxiety!! But I'm really trying to focus as much as possible on the hope and joy of this pregnancy. The sad truth is, if anything bad happens, you deal with it when it does. No anticipatory worry will ever lessen the grief etc so you may as well go in with a heart full of hope.

Also, in just a few short weeks, your bump will pop and you'll start feeling little one and that will really help 🥰

I journal a lot through my pregnancies so I have records of them and how I've felt etc. I'm really glad now that I have those records - even of the pregnancies I lost, as it connects me to those little ones and reminds me that they were with me for a while and were nurtured and loved in my body for as long as they could be. It's also lovely looking back at the one with my son and seeing all the worries etc that never came to fruition! It's a good outlet and also helps you to think about the positives and how far you've come already etc. maybe give it a try 😊

Good luck with it all! 💗