Newly pregnant - hard to wait to tell people

[rosegold103]

I found out yesterday morning I was pregnant! It was a surprise but i'm excited. I already feel like 12 weeks is FOREVER away though and I'm worrying about keeping it to ourselves until then. I know I want to wait until then to tell people, but does feel like an age! Anyone else just feel WEIRD like they're walking around with a huge secret about to be busted any minute?? I can't really explain it 😂🙈

My close friends and family knew we were doing ivf so we told them as soon as we had a positive test. Kept it secret from work colleagues until 19 weeks because I'd just started a new job and wanted to try and impress before I announced I'd be taking mat leave!

I think more people announce it earlier these days, due to private viability scans being cheaper and miscarriage being less taboo.

Don’t wait then. 12 week scan isn’t some magic point when everything is fine. Miscarriage risk drops continually through the first trimester. I hate the waiting to tell thing, it hides how common miscarriage is, and makes it seem like it’s shameful or embarrassing. I told close family and friends when I was 8/9 weeks, and then had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. It was actually easier to then share about the miscarriage and I appreciated them knowing and being supportive. I only told people who I know I’d talk to about a miscarriage, ie no colleagues.

But why should you? It’s not guaranteed to be fine after 12 weeks. And miscarriage should be less taboo and more commonly discussed. Why wouldn’t you share that you’d had a miscarriage. Your comment is quite ignorant and suggest people shouldn’t share they’ve had a miscarriage. Sharing helped me so much. And maybe if more people shared, others would realise how common it is.

I think people can tell at whatever gestation they choose. Personally I’d tell people that I’d be happy to “untell” and discuss a miscarriage with. When I lost my last pregnancy at nine weeks I hadn’t really told anyone and I think in future it would be nice to have that support if anything went wrong.

@Rosesanddaisies1 I didn't mean it was taboo and shouldn't be discussed. I simply meant that if my parents didn't know then they wouldn't be sad, they'd be none the wiser. And I wouldn't want to have to repeat the sad news to everyone I had excitedly told.
I would just want to minimise the sadness by keeping it to myself and husband.

It’s really such a personal decision when you tell people you’re pregnant. My first pregnancy ended in a very traumatic loss at 11+6, we had hardly told anyone I was pregnant but I ended up telling pretty much everyone about the loss, it was just such a bombshell in our lives, I felt I couldn’t not, and also wanted to acknowledge our baby.

Our second pregnancy I told more people earlier on, I guess because it felt so significant in itself to be pregnant (regardless of the outcome) and I needed the support with the anxiety / nausea.

So I really disagree with the idea that you ‘shouldn’t’ tell people because of the risk of miscarriage - even being fully aware of this, you could decide you want to share. or you might decide that you want to keep the news private until 12 weeks, or later, if that’s what feels right to you - all such a personal decision.

but enjoy being pregnant, lean into the excitement, the creation of a new life is such a joy and a blessing! X