35 weeks and can barely walk or stand! Feel inadequete.

[Persephone1985]

Hi all,

As the title suggests... I am 35 weeks pregnant and I can barely walk or stand. It's been like this since around week 33. I got excrutiating sciatica on the left side, went away for about 2 days, now I've got it on my right side! Getting in and out of bed for a wee is hell.

Thing is, all the advice says things like keep active while you pregnant and walking is good for you. But the weight of the baby in my pelvis is giving me this extreme waddle, that coupled with the back pain - I can barely stand to make dinner in the kitchen, or even sit upright for too long. Getting around a supermarket - just walking from the car to the front entrance - is hard and leaves me spent. I wasn't particularly overweight before pregnancy and was very active (had a job digging for a living, used to go on long hikes etc) so I don't think I'm unfit or anything. But all the advice and seeing all these perfect pregnant mums (on the internet) is making me feel like a beached whale/walrus and totally inadequete. I feel completely helpless and like I just can't do the stuff I want to do. I desperately want to get out for a walk in the fresh air but I can barely get up my own stairs.

What I want to know is, did anyone go through anything similar, have similar feelings, and how did you overcome them? Any tips physically also - any therapies that worked for you?

I know I've not long to go now, so I am trying to be strong. I'm also worried it's going to make labour a lot harder.

Thanks for any input.

Hi Op,

Im currently sitting here with my 6 week old reading your post. I was very active before pregnancy, gym 5 times a week a very full on job and are really well. By the time I got to around 34/35 weeks I was absolutely massive, I could walk but nothing was easy. I did 0 exercise (in fact I stopped going to the gym after 4 weeks) I ate okay, never really pigged out but had what I fancied within reason. The first thing I will say is what you see on social media is not reality. If this is your first child (as it was mine) when you go into hospital and see real life Mums that is reality and I guarantee you will not stand out. Also I have been attending some mother and baby classes and again everyone is in the same boat these ‘perfect’ instagram mums only exist on instagram and remember for lots of them it’s their job!

please please please do not feel inadequate. These last few weeks are awful…well they were for me, you just have to go with it and do what is right for your body. If it’s and consolation I put on nearly 4 stone and 6 weeks later I only have 1 stone left to lose. My baby is perfect and I’m sure yours will be too xx

Please don't feel inadequate! You are doing a great job! It's really, really hard near the end and you are suffering from sciatica. One thing that might help is swimming. Being in the water takes a lot of the pressure of all your joints and can be soothing.

It can be so rough! You are not alone in this. I’ve just had my second last Monday & the pregnancy was rough right off the bat.Had awful spd/pgp very early on too this time & my activity has been so very limited through pregnancy.The pelvic pain was excruciating and I was just thankful to be able to just about hobble & not be on crutches. I couldn’t drive & just about managed the last few weeks of minimal walking due to the pain.Regular massage helped during pregnancy so if you haven’t fried this yet it’s worth a try! Bar that paracetamol was taken regularly.

wow that's amazing! And encouraging. I've only put on 2 stone so not too bad, but I still will have weight to lose after birth and it is good to know it can come off that quickly!
To be honest it is more the limited mobility, discomfort and pain i am experiencing that I am struggling with. Just don't understand how they can advise you to go for walks when you can barely waddle around your own house! I'm wondering if I'm the only one who can barely move? Even when the sciatica was gone for a couple of days last week, I was waddling about and it was pulling on my lower back quite a bit.

Thank you, I;d forgotten about swimming but I must try that.

Please ask your midwife for an urgent referral to a physio to see if they can help. You may not get seen in time but worth a shot. My midwife referred me at 36 weeks and I was seen at 38’weeks for PGP. I have been given stretches/exercises to help my mobility and pain. She also advised me to stop walking as it is making things worse so please don’t worry that you’re not active!

Thank you, although I am sorry you went through that it is some comfort to know I'm not the only one! My partner is great and massages me daily. Poor guy, he's had it rough too, what with my constant complaining. lol. He is so patient and kind, though.
I had extreme pregnancy sickness at the beginning too. As in, I was on the sofa for about 2 months with nausea. It was horrendous. It still hasn't completely gone.
Bloody hell this is hard!
It feels like I'm never going to go back to normal sometimes. And I can't imagine ever wanting to go through it again! Which is a shame because I would like more than one child ideally (This is my first pregnancy).

I wish I had done that a few weeks back. I will definitely do what you have suggested and call the NHS midwife tomorrow. Thanks for the suggestion.

There is a private physio I used to go to who is brilliant but I can't really afford it at the moment and I thought I was getting better at one point so didn't bother.

Good to know that they advised you to stop walking. It just feels weird and wrong, I just know it's not good for me to be on my feet, so it's good to be validated.

I am in the same boat, 36 weeks and finding even moving around the house difficult. My partner drives me what would normally be a 10 minute walk as I can’t walk that far without severe pain. This is my third baby and the only one where I have been unable to walk. I have been seeing an osteopath that specialises in pregnancy which does help a bit.

Yep, I'm exactly the same, my partner is driving us to the corner shop 2 streets away! I literally cannot walk for 5 minutes. I can barely walk from the livingroom to the kitchen!

Definitely swim! I used to drop my eldest at pre school and then head to the pool and just float there. I didn't even swim. It was bliss!

Has your pain gone/started to go away yet?
If you dont' mind me asking, did it affect your labour? You don't have to answer if not comfortable sharing.

Have you got a support band for your bump? It has to be a pregnancy one but it definitely helped with my SPD, which you may well have. Speak to your midwife and follow her advice re exercise, pain relief etc.

No, I've never heard of them. Will check it out and yes I am going to speak to my midwife tomorrow. Thank you :)

100% agree with trying to see a physio. I had a pregnancy physio massage at about 36 weeks in my last pregnancy and I'm not exaggerating when I say I hobbled in and strode out, it was amazing!

Was it NHS or private?

My first pregnancy was bliss. I was similar to the woman you described on social media. I worked, carried things (probably shouldn’t have), was active, walked around.

Second pregnancy I am not moving at all! I used to jog - my previous boss used to jog during lunch whilst she was pregnant right into her 2nd trimester. I thought I could jog and it absolutely killed me! I developed pelvic pain around 25 weeks and I couldn’t stay on my feet for more than 20 mins. I stopped using public transport - not because of lack of seats but the walk to and from. My Uber bill is so high! I drive everywhere else.

Going to the toilet at night is painful - I’m literally holding the walls and each piece of furniture along the way.

The thing that helped me was pregnancy yoga. There is a position called polar bear which takes the weight off your legs and pelvic - on all 4s and I do that a few times a day.

Before finding a class defo ask your midwife about physio - they will find out what’s causing the pressure.

Also I felt terrible for being so in active but some of us need to take it easy during pregnancy and rest. My feet now swell at 38 weeks and I can barely make my corner shop - but I do what I can and I’ve learned to make short meals and I find chair excercises to keep myself moving.

I’ve also been told to keep on walking but these people don’t understand that when I reach my limit it’s very painful. So don’t feel inadequate

Baby will be here soon. You are definitely not alone x

In my local area there is no real provision for antenatal physio on the NHS. You'd probably have delivered by time the send you the invite for the group zoom class they offered me.

The worst thing you can do for sciatica is stay in bed or on the couch. It really exacerbates the condition. Try some gentle pregnancy yoga on YouTube and maybe try to do a few minutes of this a couple times a day at least. Do light tasks around the house.

Get a yoga ball and bounce on that instead of sitting on a firm surface.

I truly sympathise. My sciatica is bad at times but it's the pelvic pain that really gets me. But keeping active helps a lot.

This time last year I was in a similar situation. PGP got worse with each pregnancy, and with my most recent child I couldn't take a single step without leaning heavily on crutches or furniture by the last few weeks.

I felt awful, and so guilty about my pre-schooler and toddler missing out on so much. When I went out with them I was 100% reliant on them obeying me because I couldn't have caught up with them off they'd done a runner!

And at home they spent so much time picking up things for me and fetching and carrying. My husband had to care for me whilst WFH full time. It was dreadful.

My poor husband had to take my weight to get into the birthing pool. After having my daughter, he helped me out because I was a little unsteady after losing a fair bit of blood. But I walked across the room upright and with him hardly taking my weight. And five minutes later, I turned over on the bed without pain for the first time in 8 months. A few hours later I walked out of the hospital very tired and with a slightly sore perineum but otherwise completely fine.

I'd forgotten how useless I felt in those last weeks and how they seemed to last for months. At the time my husband kept reminding me that I was growing another human and keeping them safe and healthy and was therefore amazing! I hope that this time next year it'll barely cross your mind in the same way as my experiences rarely come to my mind.

Thank you so much for all the supportive and detailed responses, I really appreciate it and it does really help! I am also very grateful for the suggestions, all of which I will try. Lets hope that this time next month I will be walking about freely and right as rain.
:)

You are not alone OP. I'm so angry with what seems to be the current discourse of how pregnancy is not a sickness and pregnant women should work out and go to work and do everything they did before.

I'm only 15 weeks and have been suffering with bad pelvic pain for 5 days now. Hurts to walk, hurts to sit. It's miserable. First trimester was horrible so I had about 2 weeks of feeling not sick and not in pain.

Several people at work have randomly come to me to say "oh second trimester, you must feel amazing" and "take advantage of the 2nd trimester, it gets so much worse in your 3rd trimester". My favourite was the man who asked me how I was feeling, I said not great at the moment but powering through, and he said I should feel amazing because having a baby is magical. Wtf.

I ended up crying at my desk yesterday, luckily I have my own office and could close the door.

I also worked out 5x week and was a healthy weight so I was not expecting pregnancy to be this bad. I want 2 kids but I think I'd have to quit my job to have another baby, I can barely cope as it is!!

Please be kind to yourself. I’m 30 weeks and spent the day in hospital yesterday because I thought I was anaemic and having a bad time. It’s not that and I’m under observation for a couple of weeks but I was essentially told off by the doctor for continuing to try and do as much things as I was doing pre pregnancy. She said that she hadn’t seen a pregnant person as exhausted as me for a while and here was me thinking it was just third trimester tiredness but maybe a bit anemic, no I’m actually exhausted from doing too much!

I’ve suffered with sciatica pre pregnancy and always find a nice bath helps so if you can’t get to a swimming pool I’d also try a bath. You can use Epsom salts so that will help too hopefully.

Oh my gosh, you are really going through it aren't you? I've been able to take time off work thanfully, I cannot IMAGINE having to work with how bad I was feeling in first trimester, the nausea was absolutely horrendous, or with the pelvic pain, and just generally feeling super weird and off and not myself all of the time.

Yeah it is extremely annoying, this myth that you're full of vitality in pregnancy and especially this myth about the second trimester, some people saying things like 'it's the best they've ever felt' etc. I know that everyone is different and I certainly don't have anything against anyone who has had a good time in pregnancy, I am genuinely glad for them, so don't meant to sound bitter or anything. It just has seemed like some people don't realise how crippling it can be for some people, and I can't say I've met many people who seem to have had it as rough as I'm having it. Then I question myself and think there's something wrong with me.

I must admit I felt marginally better in 2nd trimester, the sickness started to lift very slowly and subtly (but never completely went). I'd say I felt at my best at around 24 weeks or so, but it lasted about 3 weeks, and it was only that I didn't feel absolutely horrendous. I still felt awful and I'd definitely not be able to say I felt 'full of vitality' even at my best!

The whole thing from start to finish has genuinely felt like I've had a terrible sickness, and I've felt very weak and vulnerable, actually. I was even having a lot of nightmares in the first trimester, I think emotionally I was so worn down by the nausea and barely going outside, it started to get to me mentally and I actually felt quite emotionally disturbed, really.

Anyway that stupid man! I do feel for you. Thanks for the supportive words and know that you're not alone, either. We will get through this! And it'll all be worth it in the end.

Thank you for the suggestions for the back pain. Yes, for me everything feels about x10 times more effort than before. I really think that pregnancy is a time for taking it as easy as we can, it's too easy to forget how much energy is going into other processes. Your heart is pumping around 50% more blood, for a start. I keep getting dizzy and having to lie down every 15 minutes. Hope you manage to start taking things a bit slower, and feel better soon.

I had lower back pains and was told to move for them, and also pelvic girdle pain and was told to exercise for them

Go to an osteopath they worked wonders for me