Can’t shift my worry at 11 weeks

[Bumblebee413]

I’m 11 weeks tomorrow and to preface this, I don’t know what I’m hoping for here other than somewhere to vent, as in ‘real life’ I think everyone thinks I’ve lost the plot. They might be right.

This is my second pregnancy, after an uneventful one first time round. I’ve got huge pregnancy boobs, nausea, tiredness and obviously hormones. But I haven’t been sick in over a week, the ‘bump’ I was sure I had has gone (clearly a pizza baby!) and my nuchal scan is on the 21st.

I can’t afford to go private and feel stupid even considering it with our finances when I’ve only got 12 days to go before a scan and to be seen in our EPAU you have to go in via GP or A&E referral. I don’t have any bleeding or cramping and I don’t want to abuse NHS time. I just feel like there isn’t a baby there and I’m going to let everyone down.

We told everyone and I mean everyone mega early this time because last time it was Covid and we waited until 15 weeks and we just wanted more joy this time. I figured I’d be very open if we had a miscarriage anyway, so it wouldn’t make any difference. But I was wrong- if you’re just sharing miscarriage news that is sharing sadness rather than first creating joy then replacing it with sadness. I think I’m feeling the pressure.

I know this doesn’t make sense. I’ve spent all day feeling guilty that I’m leading people on. Did anyone feel like this then have good news? Or is this my body trying to prepare me?

I’m 11+3 and feel the same. I don’t even have a date for my scan yet, which panicked me so much that I have caved and booked a private one for this week because I couldn’t stand having no idea if baby is ok in there. I was in floods of tears on Friday worrying about letting everyone down if something has happened to the baby and I have no way of knowing. Like you I have no bleeding or cramping so no reason to think there’s anything wrong, but it’s so hard not to worry.

I’m sorry I have no advice for you - like I say I caved and booked a private scan after promising myself I wouldn’t. I just hope it gives me some reassurance!

That does make me feel better actually, just knowing I’m not on my own, although equally I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way too. I think it’s that knowledge that something could have happened silently?

That’s exactly what it is @Bumblebee413 - unfortunately as my MIL said this morning, that worry doesn’t leave you even once they’re here!

It’s very common to feel better from around 10 weeks, as the placenta is taking over and your HCG has peaked. Please don’t worry about telling early, I told early and then has a miscarriage, and i actually found it easier to tell about the MC, rather than it coming out the blue. If you really can’t wait, have a private scan, I’ve had 2 with this pregnancy! But if no bleeding or cramping, it’s really most likely all fine,

This early stage of pregnancy is one of the most worrying but try to stay positive because your symptoms are promising. I think the boobs and Nausea in particular are good indications that everything is OK. My last pregnancy I was only actually sick a few times and Nausea didn't last much longer than 12 weeks.

You could book a private scan but in my experience it only makes you feel better for a short period of time before you start worrying again! I also had times where I just didn't feel pregnant! And forgot I was pregnant. But everything was OK. And as for your little bump, although you show earlier the 2nd time round I don't think it's an indicator of whether or not you are still pregnant.

Just try and make it through the next 12 days and I'm sure you'll feel relief at your scan. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy!

I'm 10 weeks and we've told people and I get exactly what you're saying! I've been anxious from day one and what I've come to realise is that none of my anxieties so far have come true and none of the worrying I did would have changed anything anyway.

Remember, anxiety is not intuition.

Wow. As I said I wasn’t really sure what I was hoping for but honestly thank you all for your kindness. Each one of you has made me feel a bit better and I’m so grateful. I think it’s the echo chamber of your head that makes things worse sometimes?

Thank you so much and @Lillers I hope that you have a really lovely scan x

I've been feeling loads better since about 10.5 weeks and I'm 11 +4 now. Way less bloated, nausea and heartburn pretty much gone.

The only thing I still have is ravenous hunger but to be honest I love snacking when not pregnant too so that could be nothing.

I definitely feel nervous about my scan on Friday. I keep telling my partner that there won't be any heartbeat and he doesn't understand why I feel so pessimistic about it.

As previous poster said I think the placenta starts to take over at this point and so you start to feel better. It's still an insanely anxious time that doesn't feel like it's really happening until you see that little baby on the screen.

No advice really but you are definitely not alone in feeling this way ❤️

You are definitely not alone. It's such a worrying time and I'm so sorry you feel like this. I am currently 10+3. This is my 6th pregnancy and we have unfortunately lost all 5 around 6-7 weeks. We had 2 scans at EPU last one was around 9+4 (measured 9+6) and they discharged me from their service so we can't go back for another scan unless I have pain or bleeding (which I don't) so just have to wait for a date to come through for my dating scan and who knows when that will be 🤷🏻‍♀️ just try and keep yourself busy. I know some say not to tell anyone but I've found that it's good to have people around me to support me when things have gone wrong in the past.
I'm sure everything will be alright! Keep us updated! X

Thank you @Megs938 and @HolyMoly24. @Megs938 I’m so sorry to hear about your losses, I can’t imagine how much emotional juggling you’ve been having to do, in particular over the past few weeks. Congratulations on your pregnancy. All of you please feel free to update here too, it would be lovely xxx

Bless you. I felt the same, my only real symptoms were big tiddies, tiredness and hormones up until about 10 weeks where the sickness was in full swing and lasted until I was about 17 weeks (27 today)... I didn't look or feel pregnant really. I was just bloated from time to time in the early days. My 12 week scan was fine :) it is a worrying time because it's only really the physical symptoms that sort of reassure you isn't it, can't feel movements and any "bump" we do have is just bloating and can come and go in the 1st trimester 😅 I'm sure all will be okay! Loss of sickness can be worrying but more often than not it's normal. Both my "morning" sickness experiences have been very different with my 1st pregnancy sickness started at 6 weeks then gone by 12, and some don't experience it at all... pregnancy is a strange thing and symptoms can be so different for everyone, every pregnancy. Try not to worry too much 💜

I know how you feel, I had my DS who is 6 now then 1 cp and 2 mmc. I then went on to have a successful pregnancy, another DS who is now 18 months old. Honestly before every scan I felt sick, in the early weeks I felt I want pregnant anymore I even thought my boobs had stopped hurting and kept poking them to make sure. It gets better when you can feel them kicking but when they don’t kick for 10 minutes you are full of anxiety again. Anyway just wanted to say it’s totally normal and sad that some of us get robbed of the joy of pregnancy. I was so happy when my son was born I nearly cried with joy, x