Abortion?

[dlnev1536]

Hi.

I'm in a bit of a state. DH and I have a 6 year old DS1 and 8 month DS2. We always wanted more than one but, after having our first, I suffered from really bad PND and we decided no more. When DS1 was 5 yo, we decided to try for another baby and had DS2 last year. Best decision we ever made. No signs of PND, the boys adore each other. DS2 is a really easy, happy baby. I've just gone back to work. Life is good.

Just found out I am pregnant. Completely unplanned and we are absolutely at fault for being a bit lax with contraception. I don't think I can mentally go through with an abortion BUT I also cannot imagine having another baby! Both pregnancies were hard - I was really unwell with sickness. Luckily, my eldest was independent enough to sort himself out and I could rest, sleep, etc. and I managed to get through it but it was a horrendous 9 months and I didn't feel guilty as I knew DS1 had had my full attention for the past 5 years. This time, DS2 will be so little and I just don't know how I'll cope. It means room sharing, buying a bigger car, going back on maternity leave. 8 month old just started sleeping through so feel like we finally have some semblance of our lives back. The cons are endless.

Has anybody else been in a similar situation? What did you decide? Honestly, I swing from having the baby and making it work to having an abortion a million times a day. I just don't know what the right decision is. My husband feels exactly the same and 100% supports whatever decision I make. Any words of advice would be much appreciated.

Sorry for the long post!

I think only you can answer this. You'll know in your gut what you want. All I'll say is that after I had an abortion, my overarching feeling was relief.

I'm in same situation although have 2 older children with additional needs a 3 and 18 month old. Your not alone

Hi OP,

I'm in a similar situation to you. I have an appointment booked to take my first pill next Wednesday and I'm absolutely dreading it. My partner and I are facing an unplanned pregnancy at a time when we are still in rented accommodation, and my divorce has not yet come through (it is taking a very very long time.)
I absolutely hate the idea of "getting rid of" the baby of the love of my life and a child that we both really want, but unfortunately right now is the worst possible timing, neither of us have complete job security for the next few years, and it wouldn't be fair on my two-year-old daughter from my marriage.

To add to the misery, all of this, all of these uncertainties, is going to be solved in the next 12 months, just not soon enough for us to have this baby.
It's absolutely breaking my heart, and I feel sick to my stomach. I'm sharing this because maybe you need a bit of solidarity? Sometimes you have to look ahead to the future you and ask what would future me want? If you decide it was the wrong thing to do, then you can try for another child when you have a plan in place. That's what I keep telling myself. And it's what we're going to do. It doesn't make what I have to do next week any easier, but you can only do what's right at the time.

Hi just want to come on to see if you went through with termination and how are you feeling? I also had a surgical procedure last week at 6weeks gestation and can’t cope with this regret and guilt! I have 2 boys 12 and 4 and I just can’t deal with the what ifs:( my husband was listening to his head all the way and I was mainly agreeing with him but at same time would of just got with it and made it work with a 3rd DC. I know it’s still so raw but I’m just hoping I can get over this!

Hey, I know I'm not the OP but just wanted to comment and ask how you're doing? I've been through this and if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me! I hope with time you're feeling a bit better and some relief from the hurt. Take care x