How do you keep the anxiety at bay? Pregnant after early miscarriage

[Sparksi]

Hello,

I’ve recently found out I am pregnant, really early at 8dpo! My test lines keep getting darker but I am just worried about the possibility of another loss. I had an early miscarriage at 5+4 at the start of this year.
Both pregnancies were conceived first cycle of trying, I am in my 20s, healthy lifestyle and taking Pregnacare & magnesium. Is there anything else I can do? I think my anxiety will be there at least until I’ve passed the point of the previous loss. Still another couple of weeks to reach that milestone.

I feel like I’m going to need 101 reassurance scans!

I'm 25 weeks pregnant after 12 years of IVF including a miscarriage in April last year (empty growing sack)
It's really tough and there is no magical cure I don't think. What did help me was a reassurance scan at 6 weeks and 8 weeks. Also constantly telling myself that worrying and stressing won't affect the outcome.
It does get easier as the risk reduces and I'm finally allowing myself to look forward to welcoming our baby rather than worrying about what could go wrong. Just take each day at a time, if you don't have pain and/or bleeding then the chances are everything is fine- also try not to go down a Google/Mumsnet rabbit hole of sad stories..it doesn't help!

I agree with previous poster on rabbit hole. I had a child but then had 3 miscarriages followed by 2 failed IVF transfers before this pregnancy. I also had 3 bleeds early on in this pregnancy. My anxiety was really high until about 20 weeks, it's eased off but I don't think it's ever fully left me and won't until she's here. I'm 37 weeks almost now - I will say after 20 weeks it went much faster, and I did start to think more positively. The first half was really difficult mentally. X

It will ease a little with every milestone 12 week scan , anatomy scan etc but it doesn't really totally go not in my experience I thought at one point my worries were over and I would relax I'm 25 weeks now but really you just find new things to worry about and I think maybe that sums up being a mother doesn't it ? I hope all goes well for you try relax and be good to yourself .

I'm almost 11 weeks after a mc and two CP last year so totally understand your anxiety. I've had two early scans through the NHS and will have 1 more after my dating scan. Naturally it's hard not to worry all the time. I'd speak to your EPAU about an early scan but don't be paying for private ones. As the sonographer pointed out at my most recent scan they tend to pray on vulnerable women and will happily keep scanning you, yet think of all the ultrasound rays that are constantly being put through you. As she said, less scans is better and you're only ever reassured in that moment, the worry soon comes back. Hadn't thought of anything like that before but she's spot on.

Sending you all the luck in the world, this is a different pregnancy so no reason it shouldn't go well.

I think leaning into the anxiety has weirdly helped me, currently 11 weeks after a MC last year. I had some counselling which did help me, mostly to anticipate and acknowledge that another pregnancy would be hard. Remembering there is nothing you can or not do about it. Keep occupied with nice plans, treat yourself. Ignore PP about private scans, they’re totally safe and having one definitely helped me and they were lovely. Just don’t get too obsessed with scans as it doesn’t change the outcome.

@Rosesanddaisies1 never said they weren't safe, just easy to become obsessed with wanting them because they are accessible. I hadn't even thought about the amount of ultrasound being put through you until my sonographer said. So was simply giving another point of view 😊

Ultrasound scans are perfectly safe I had to have 2 x 12 week scans a week apart then 3 x 20 week scans also around a week apart on the NHS.
I understand that people can get in to a habit of having them too frequently and there are probably some unscrupulous companies out there but the 2 we used were very professional, informative and reasonably priced.

My EPU gave me early scans after a MMC last year. I will say that I was horrendously anxious leading up to all of them, so I’m not really sure how much they helped. And they only told me that things were ok in that exact moment. What has helped is telling myself that unless I have pain or bleeding there’s no reason to think anything’s wrong. I’m still going to be a mess at the 12 week scan! But I’m feeling mentally ok.

@AtLeastThreeDrinks that's exactly what DH keeps telling me too. My 12 week scan is a week on Friday, will still feel nervous on the day but think that's normal.