How to broach Home Insemination Kits with husband

[Cherry85]

A few years a go I (39)had a parasite that leaves me very tired in the evenings, so by the time hubby (45) gets home I'm usually knackered and not in the mood for baby making. First time round, we were lucky and got pregnant with DS(4) on the first go - but anytime we have sex now he just doesn't get to that crucial point.

I am scared we are going right miss our opportunity for another child and want to bring up the subject of home insemination kits - but scared he will take offence.

Any advice? Also any reccomendations on where to get them? Do I speak to docs or just amazon it.

When you say crucial point I'm guessing you mean you have sex but he doesn't ejaculate?

Do you know if he can ejaculate when he masturbates? That’s the first question, really, because if he can’t then home insemination kits are useless to you. He might need to see the GP.

Not to be rude but if you're still unwell and so tired you can't have sex to ejaculation, are you sure you can cope with a baby?

First I thought you were referring to your 4 year old as a parasite but you mean an actual parasite? So you're physically unwell? Do you really want another baby at your ages and considering your health condition?

If your not able to get enough energy for baby making then why are you even contemplating having one which takes a bunch more energy

I think the replies are a bit harsh on you. I was in a similar situation as you albeit without the medical condition, and my partner was the one very tired after work. I concieved my 4 year old first go, but i think the pressure this time got to my partner and he was never able to finish, then he felt guilty about it, sex seemed to become a functional thing and it was all quite negative.

I read a bit about home insemination on this site and discussed it with him I really thought he would be upset/insulted/turn it down but after discussion we both agreed to give it a go to take the pressure off, maximise our chances and remove the pressure from him that he had to "perform".

I went out the next day and bought syringes and a pot. That night we dtd, I thought I just was out of the ovulation window so it was just for fun.... anyways I am now 8 months pregnant from that time!

So even though we didnt actually end up using the method, I do recommend discussing it with your husband-- I think my partner had been feeling really stressed and was relieved there was an alternative, and that sex could become just about us again. I read alot about it and it seems to work for a lot of people. Best of luck, I hope everything works out for you both.

I think I'd have a more general talk about how you're both coping, your sex life, your desire for a baby, and see where you get to. I absolutely wouldn't open the conversation by suggesting a home insemination kit.

Have you talked about why he doesn't ejaculate? Is it ED?

My partner struggled to ejaculate when we were trying to conceive. I think it was all the pressure. I bought pre-seed lubricant and it immediately resolved the issue. I don't think pre-seed necessarily makes it easier to come but it's a nice feeling lubricant. Worth a try?