Depression in pregnancy?

[Littlelionroar1982]

So here goes - I’m almost 23 weeks pregnant with my second child, a boy due in Summer and I’m really, really struggling. I’ve had hyperemesis which I had before but this last few weeks I’ve been struggling with what I can only presume is my mental health. I’ve never had this before, ever. I’m a happy easy going hard working person who loves life but recently I don’t want to do anything, don’t like anything and I’m questioning my ability to have another child and even my relationship with my partner - everything he does is driving me insane and I’m tears all the time. I feel like I don’t actually know what I want to do with my life and if my partner and I are right for each other (we’re literally best friends I feel awful even writing this) I don’t want to do my job I feel tearful at the thought of going into work, I talk to customers and I just don’t care what they have to say - this is just not me - can someone tell me if this is just a pregnancy blip and I’ll come round and get over this.

I think with all the changes that are going on in our body, it's unsurprising it would effect mental health.

I told my mid wife about my mental health struggles and she said she would refer me to the maternity wellbeing team. So maybe try that?

During my most recent period of depression I fell completely out of love with partner. I felt nothing for him. Now I'm better I'm completely bessoted, so it may pass for you too!

@Sara1988 thanks for responding, was your depression during pregnancy too? I’ve never felt anything like this and the last 2 weeks has gotten worse - I was imagining our life going forward if we separated and I was distraught but mostly because I felt like I had a failed relationship and family not because we weren’t together, we’ve been together nearly 10 years and I don’t know why I’ve just started feeling like this I just want it to be my hormones. I think I’m going to have to speak to my midwife I’ve just just always been so happy strong and positive I’m just lost that I feel like this!

I've had depression on and off throughout my life. The time I mentioned above was before pregnancy. Honestly I felt nothing for him. Fast forward a year and we're completely loved up and expecting our first baby. A turning point for me was when my therapist asked how I felt toward others and to other things I loved and I realised I felt pretty indifferent to them too. That's when I realised it was my depression and not him that was the problem.

I think the most important thing is to tell someone how you feel. Have you told your partner how low you're feeling?

That sentence really resonates because normally I love my job but I don’t at the moment, I have no time for my friends and I’m normally super social and I don’t have the energy or enjoyment of doing much with my boy either so I think it is admitting I’m actually depressed. I’ve told him I’m struggling, his mental health has been a constant battle and I’m finding it harder as he’s not done great recently but if this is how he feels a lot of the time this is awful!

Congratulations on the baby though! ❤️

I developed antenatal depression. I’m 37 weeks now and feel much better. I spoke to my midwife and she referred me to councelling and we went through a lot of the other things o had anxiety about.

I spent the first 2 trimesters of pregnancy unable to work (and I really enjoy work and now looking back I wish I put my usual energy into some of the projects we had)… I stopped going out with friends and turned down so many invites, now that I’m heavier I wish I socialised more… my OH is amazing but I had so many questions about our relationship and despite him being reassuring I felt like I was trapping myself.

I feel tonnes better now and a lot of it has come from being kinder to myself and being practical to a certain extent as I become so focused on my negative emotions.

Please do speak to your midwife. You are not alone and it’s so alarming when you can feel yourself slipping away.

You will find your old self again soon x