A work related question

[SherbertLemons]

I'd welcome everyone's thoughts

I have 1 DC who is 2. We have decided to TTC a second (and final child)

I am a cervical cancer survivor and because of this I have a short/incompetent cervix. I had a cervical stitch placed when I was 12weeks pregnant with DC1 but this time I'm going to have to have a different type of stitch (performed via abdominal surgery via my C-section scar) before we TTC.

The procedure will be in May/June and I will need 2-3 nights in hospital followed by 2 weeks (min) off work.

The thing is I wasn't planning on telling my employer we were going to try for another baby but I now need two weeks + off work and I just know if I say to my boss I need time off for surgery she will ask me why and what for? She is just very chatty and I don't think it would cross her mind not to ask full details.

So what do I say to work?

Would you just be honest and say it's to have a stitch thereby unveiling our plans to have another baby (and me be off on maternity leave) or......is there another option...

Thanks everyone

Just say you’re having surgery and would rather not discuss the details. You’re under no requirement to share your personal medical information.

No, you just say you need an operation or “ procedure” thst will mean 2 nights in hospital and roughly 2 weeks off work (don’t be precise as you don’t know you’re recovery time) . If she needs to know more just say gynae. Really don’t let her chattiness suck you into revealing more. She may well be lovely, and just caring…but she really really doesn’t need to know more at this stage. Just say it’s personal and you don’t want to share gory/ embarrassing details. Usually word embarrassing puts people off asking more. Or even say nope, don’t want to say it’ll really really be tmi for you 🙄🤣

you’ll need a sick note/ wellness note so that should cover reason and time needed and that may say gynae. Or it may be more general. Or your go may ask you how much detail- make sure they dont put spepcfc procedure name down and explain why,

even with this stitch you may not conceive for a while (sorry) and she doesn’t need to know about something that may take ages to happen or even (agian sorry but I’m being theoretical for her ) not at all. Good luck

Unless she happens to have had similar procedures for similar reasons herself, she probably won’t even know what a cervical stitch is for, so would probably assume it’s just to correct something from your previous birth or somehow related to your former cancer (if she knows about that). You don’t have to tell her the exact procedure, but I really think that even if you did she probably wouldn’t realise that that means you’ll be ttc again.

I have no idea what a cervical stitch is, unless she’s experienced it I doubt she would. But just say you need surgery, and if pushed, say it’s gynaecology. The sick note might say something but you can just sent this straight to HR

I agree ‘surgery’ covers it, if pressed expand with ‘gynaecological’ and if any further detail is requested a long silent stare should suffice.

I told my work I was having some cysts removed when I was actually going to have my tubes investigated and in the end had to have them removed. I did have one small cyst they were going to take out whilst they were in there, so wasn't a total lie. But at the end of the day it's none of their business.

You're having surgery. None of their business on what appendage. Or just say it's to do with a legacy from the cancer and would rather not discuss further.

Best of luck OP with both the surgery and TTC. xx

You are having a surgical procedure and will likely be off for 2 weeks afterwards. The hospital will give you a sick note before you go.