Mummy’s that had a forceps delivery and a 3rd/4th degree tear

[Mumofonexo]

Hi everyone, I just want to start off by saying I’m 6 months pp from a forceps delivery that resulted in a 3b tear.

Recovery wise my bowel and wind control is getting better. However I’ve recently found out some of my muscles inside my vagina have been damaged by the forceps.

i get really heavy and achey after going on a walk or when I’ve had a busy day.

I’m just wondering has anyone else been through this and been told they have damage to the pelvic floor muscles not just the sphincter 😔

Im now really scared about ever getting pregnant again, although sex is the last thing on my mind right now. I also don’t want my tubes tied as I’ve found out that can cause prolapse’s and that’s one issue I don’t thankfully have yet.

You poor thing - it’s grim being a woman. I had a 3a tear (caused by giant baby, rather than foreceps) and damage to pelvic floor muscles. I was referred for physio - have you had that offered? Also, it sounds obvious and I know we all hate them but are you doing your kedgels? Very important for us ladies with bad tears. Three times a day - no excuses.

I had forceps and an episiotomy and have incontinence as a result. But due to having forceps I immediately got referred for physio who confirmed I have very very week walls but luckily no prolapse. I recommend seeing your GP and asking to be referred

I had a 3b tear from forceps and a 10lb baby. I also had an episiotomy.

It took me a year to recover properly- I had a couple of infections. Also found having a poo very painful for a long time.
I was also incontinent.

9 years later I still have trouble peeing when I cough or sneeze. I tried pelvic floor but that only does so much.
I also fart when I laugh (so embarrassing!)

I’ve never had another baby as I think I probably had PTSD from child birth. I’ve never forgotten and still get upset all these years later.

I had a 3c tear after forceps and was referred for physio as soon as I was discharged from hospital. I thankfully haven't had any long lasting effects. I did get pregnant again but was advised to have a c section instead of a natural delivery. I had no problems in my second pregnancy or the birth.
I would chase up the physio and make sure you are doing your pelvic floor exercises. It should get easier

I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Not exactly the same situation but I’ve had episiotomy and forceps with first birth and 2nd degree tear, then intervention free with second birth but 2nd degree tear again 18 months ago. Since the second I find I ache during walking when in the depth of winter (last year was worse) but gets better when the weather warms up. Just something to bear in mind and the aching has got better over time. I hope your situation gets better.

@DoloresOnTheDottedLine

Ouch it’s still just as painful though!
so you’ve also got sphincter damage and pelvic floor damage? Uh it sucks doesn’t it.

Did you have anymore children afterwards?

I am very diligent about pelvic floor exercises as I want to make the best recovery possible and try and prevent prolapse if I can. I’m under pelvic physio too ☺️

@MrsJ6921

I am so sorry to hear that 😔 it’s just awful what we have to go through.

My vagina walls are also weak but I’m hoping I can get stronger if I keep up the pelvic floor exercises daily.

@Bibblybumblebee
wow that was a big babe bless you.
Yes I can sympathise with the infections! I’ve had so many because the tear was open right next to my bum so whenever you pooped it was going in the tear 🫠 it didn’t matter how much I cleaned myself either.

I’m am so sorry you had to experience being incontinent and have ongoing issues. I feel like none of this gets spoken about!

to be honest unless I recover well I will not be having another as I simply can’t go through this again even if I have a c section getting pregnant with ongoing issues will be a nightmare.

have you been offered any trauma therapy?

I had a 3rd degree tear and forceps delivery. I did go on to have a 2nd child because I was told after my first delivery that any further ones should be c-section. Otherwise I would have stopped at 1. Its taken me several years to feel fairly in control of my bladder.

I'm same as @Bibblybumblebee , 3b forceps tear, episiotomy and 10lb baby (and shoulder dystocia in the mix) . I felt like my body was very fragile for a long time afterwards. For me the long term issues are urinary stress incontinence and being unable to do high impact exercise, I used to be a runner and loved aerobics but I can't do them now. I worry about what will happen as I age. Having said that, I remember the 1st year postpartum, thinking I'd struggle to live a normal life, but things did get better, it takes longer than you think for your body recover, how you are now isn't necessarily how you'll always be.

@pancakesunday
that’s amazing that you’ve recovered so well. It amazes me how we all recover so differently. Did you have the endo anal scan?

also did your perineum hurt with the weight of the baby? I’m worried about that too.

Im really pleased everything went so well for you 🩵

I must admit I didn’t think things would get better as I did go on to have some loose stools that I couldn’t control ☹️ but I have since then gotten sick with a stomach bug and was fine! I have also noticed wind control is getting better too.

@Mintearo7
thank you lovely, forceps and a tear is still brutal.

I ache after long walks so I get that completely. Is the aching from the scar or your vagina? Sorry to be so personal.

Thank you, I’ve come to realise this is going to take time to recover from and I need to stop beating myself up that I’m not ok just yet. I think as women and mums we are so tough on ourselves.

I had forceps and episiotomy. I felt fragile and sore for a good while after. Coming up to a year now and I do feel like it's getting better

I had both but defo not on that scale.
No real issues since healed. Except trampolines! DC2 born within 4 hours on gas and air only

I had an episiotomy and 3b tear, was completely incontinent initially (happened while having a bath in the early days, honestly, it was the most disgusting and worrying time of my life despite my amazing baby).

I was referred for physio but ended up actually seeing gynecology. They sent me for the anal scan. Scan was clear and I have thankfully healed pretty well although obviously a LOT weaker and will always have that vulnerability now. Kegels forever. I was also was referred to urology who gave me a stimulation machine (which I hated, literally like a b* plug, but it did help). I think you can buy them privately too but obviously want to make sure you're using it correctly.

I've been SO careful. I couldn't walk more than 20minutes for a long time due to the heaviness, and I used to call to be picked up when I'd accidentally overdone it, sometimes sitting in the rain with the pram while I waited. I also am very careful lifting things as there's a right and wrong way to do things (breathe out and lift your pelvic floor when doing anything strenuous is the general rule). I've seen a private women's physio who also does virtual pilates classes too, that's been a HUGE help.

DD is now 21 months and I'm 24 weeks with DC2. Honestly I was initially petrified, but I'm doing ok. I've been back to gynecology and they've advised a c section. I'm noticing some heaviness, but it's manageable and I'm hopeful that with continued focus on strengthening and protecting my pelvic floor, I'll be ok.

Never thought I'd feel this confident and obviously there are no guarantees, but honestly with hard work it does make a difference.

@thebear1

I’m sorry you had a bad tear too.
Did you have any issues while pregnant with your 2nd? If you don’t mind me asking

@Cafelattes
Im so sorry you’ve had such a tough time.

yes I won’t be able to do anything high impact now as my pelvic floor is so weak now. It’s nice to hear from others that things did get better. I don’t think anyone is 100% normal after having a baby but I hope to get to a point where I don’t think about it daily.

@JennyGracexx I’m pleased to hear that things are getting better for you ☺️

@MrsTrue
I am so sorry you went through that. I can completely sympathies with you.

I actually have one of those machines but I use it vaginally and I’ve found it helpful thankfully. Yes I agree kegels are for life now.

That’s brilliant to know, I actually want to start doing pilates I’m now more comfortable and not so sore.

Ah congratulations! How lovely ☺️ is the heavy feeling similar to what you’d get on your period? I had that when I was pregnant before the tear.

Also do you remember feeling heavy for a long time after the tear?

Im hoping if I keep doing my exercises and eating plenty of protein I’ll be okay not back to normal but to a point where it’s manageable.

It's not anywhere near as bad as the heaviness for a period actually, but then the period heaviness for me has always been intense.

I still get heaviness on and off now, and did before I got pregnant if I'd done too much. I noticed a big difference when I stopped breastfeeding (managed 17 months with DD and stopped when I was a couple of months pregnant) so I know hormones make a huge difference too.

It did gradually just get better and don't really remember exact timelines. I do remember going back to work at 10 months pp, walking for 25 minutes and then realising I'd done too much, so the permanent heaviness had definitely eased by then.

On the food front, constipation has been my nemesis actually.

Sounds like you're doing all the right things, definitely keep it going even if it feels like super slow progress!

@MrsTrue
I’m so pleased for you that the heavy feeling is manageable. I was really worried that it would be intense if I got pregnant again after this.

if we do decided to have another I would ideally like a 3 year gap to give myself time to recover but you never know what surprises life has in store for you! DS was a lovely surprise after a miscarriage.

That’s reassuring to know things did get better for you. I’m returning to work at 11 months pp so I’m hoping if things have started to improve now things can only get better with some more time. I’m just really thankful it’s an office job.

are you on iron tablets? I was on those when pregnant and my gosh I got plenty of practice pushing 🤣 prune juice is grim but it worked a treat!

Thank you so much 😊 it’s nice to hear from other mummy’s that things do get a little easier, even if it feels like forever right now. And if we choose to have another I can opt for a c section.

No issues in 2nd pregnancy. I'm now menopausal and think it's impacting my pelvic floor so going to speak to GP.

@thebear1
Sorry to hear you’re having some issues now. I was told because of the tear they would put me on hrt when I get menopausal, so maybe that’s something they might offer to you. I hope you get some help from your gp

@Mumofonexo I have sent you a PM as my story seems very very similar to yours x

My first was ventouse which was painful but forceps were a different story. After 6 months I went back to my GP to say it was still really painful and they said forceps are

Brutal

The word really stayed with me.... brutal!

I'm now 9 years (almost to the day!) and I have less control/feeling in my bowel than before, but I am infinitely better than I was in the first year.

It takes a long long time to heal. Don't make any hasty decisions and be really kind to yourself. You did an amazing thing!!!