Experiences on BF or FF.

[Ptfcangel]

Hi,
I am not due til September but I’m already a little bit torn about what I should try to do.
ideally I would love to breastfeed. However, and it might come across slightly selfish but I just need advice, my sister gets married in November and will have a hen night in October. I just don’t really know what BF would look like around 4-8 weeks and if it would be possible to express and have baby with DP for one night or if that would just be impossible altogether. I’m also aware I probably won’t want to leave baby that early either but just working things out in my head.
Can you safely mix from such an early stage or should it be one or the other and stick with it?
my midwife has said she doesn’t care how I feed baby as long as baby is fed so no pressure either way just wondered if anyone had experiences to share ☺️

I mix fed with my two. Enjoyed the odd night out from 6 weeks with both. In my experience and from friends the idea they’ll get ‘confused’ by a bottle is mostly nonsense.

My honest advice, don’t overthink it. You might hate breastfeeding, you might love it. I was quite dubious and then loved feeding my eldest it felt so natural. Then he moved to bottles when we were ready and that was good too. It’ll work out fine x

Also you might want to leave baby for a night out you might not. Varies by person. Doesn’t make you a better or worse mum either way.

I don't think there's any issues with mixed feeding from any age really. You'd probably want to make sure baby will drink formula before leaving him/her for a day though rather than just trying it on the day.

An other thing is that at 4-8 weeks you'll probably find you're getting engorged quite quickly if BF so you'd probably want to make sure you had somewhere you can express multiple times if you're going to be away for a while.

Aw thank you so much for that actually! My mum had said I might want a night away by then but everyone online I’d seen saying they couldn’t imagine leaving baby so soon made me feel terrible for even considering it 🤣🙈
we have such a big support I know everyone will be chomping at the bit for babysitting just felt guilty to consider using it 🤣!

It’s very difficult to plan at this stage. I would just go with the flow and don’t overthink it.

Your can definitely mix, but start mixing sooner rather than later.

I had inverted nipples so it took me 3 weeks to establish EBF, and my baby was mixed fed in that time in different ratios.

I have to say I do NOT miss cleaning and sterilising bottles 😂

I also felt like I'd been hit by a truck in the early days and don't think I'd have been up for a night out personally, but everyone is different.

Don’t feel bad either way.

With my eldest i was desperate to just leave the house for a few hours, have an adult conversation and not have a small being clinging to me. Just for a few hours. And I assure you, I adore that child and am a marvellous mum.

My youngest oddly I felt totally different. Wanted him with me constantly. I adore him the exact same amount and am an equally fabulous mother to him.

it’s all good. The fact you’re thinking of this shows you are already a super mama x

Agree don’t over think it - you may find even going to the end of the street without DC unthinkable or jump at the chance of adult chat and a lie in. If BF you will need to pump some off so you don’t feel like you’ll burst. You may have enough milk to start a dairy/donate to the neonatal unit or struggle with it. You will find a way either BF or FF when you have your baby - congratulations

I went on a 3 night bachelorette weekend when DS1 was about 10 weeks.

At that point I was bf but expressing a ton as my mat leave was only 16 weeks so needed him to take bottles of any kind of milk from early on.

I introduced one bottle of expressed milk from 2 weeks and increased from there. By the time I left DS would happily go from breast to bottle and I had a ridiculous amount stored in the freezer for him.

I took my pump with me and just pumped and dumped the whole weekend.

If pumping is something you're considering then that is an option.

Sorry just to caveat, I absolutely wouldn't stress about not pumping though, a baby will do just as well on formula - but if you're in the flow of nursing then you'll have to pump to help with engorged breasts when you're away otherwise you'll be really uncomfortable.

My boy is 5 weeks today. I've been EBF but since 3 weeks I've also used a pump to get him a bottle of milk for bedtime to get him used to a bottle - he happily takes both.

I'd say though it'll be hard for you that early to express enough extra breast milk to keep your baby going for a whole weekend. You'll need a lot of milk to cover that time period and your supply doesn't fully establish until 6 weeks or so, it would be a big ask to have enough milk to feed baby and have enough left over to build a full weekend supply. So with that in mind if you do go on the hen do I'd suggest relying on formula to cover the weekend your away. As PP have said you'll need to pump regularly while your away - both for your own comfort but also assuming you plan to go back to ebf after the hen do, you'll want to make sure your body is continuing to build your supply.

It’s good to think about the options, but I do think you’ll have to go with the flow and see where you’re at at the time- hopefully your sister will understand if you can’t commit till the last minute.

When mine were that age, I don’t think I would have wanted to go on a night out. I was knackered, but also in a lovely spot with BFing in terms of the bonding, and really establishing a good routine etc. We did try our DS on a bottle of EBM but he rejected bottles completely and so I had to be nearby all the time. As a PP said, I’d have got very engorged being away from him for any length of time, and would have needed to express several times while away which is a bit of a faff and meant I wouldn’t feel able to have more than a couple of drinks. I did have to miss out on some events when I was bfing, but for me it was worth it- I loved bfing and was lucky to have a good experience (and one slightly less good but still ok).

@MyLemonBee I wish someone as lovely as you had been around when I was in the early stages of parenting. The amount of guilt and judgement on me when I had to FF was unreal and seeing your fair words and balanced viewpoint is refreshing even now that my kids are teens. You put it all perfectly. What a lovely person you sound

@munchmagic ah bless you. It’s such a shame so many mothers see parenting as some sort of a competitive sport isn’t it? Mothers should look after and support one another!

Against all advice, I pumped from birth and my son took a bottle and boob. Meant I could get more sleep. We stopped bottle feeding at about 6 months just because I was always with him, and I'm still BFing 2.5 years later! I know I wouldn't still be feeding if I hadn't expressed and had support via bottle feeding at the beginning.

It's so hard to say how you will feel ! I've had 2 children and pregnant with my third EBF both and there's no way I'd of left them for an hour that young let alone overnight, everyone's difference, however if they had been FF it may of been different.

I would strongly recommend keeping your options open and plan for both.

It is impossible to know how you will feel. I went out when first was two weeks old for a few hours, absolutely loved it and baby was grand, I always intended and did FF.