I'm just a few weeks pregnant, possibly only 6. I have my first appointment mid-March and due in October. It's my third baby.
I'm feeling really down and I don't know if it's just the hormones or when to get help.
I run a business (small cafe), I work 6 days a week and can't really get away. business is okay but apart from paying for some food shopping for it doesn't make enough to fund anything else for my home or family really. Husband pays mortgage, all the bills and kids clothing and needs. He also takes them to doctors etc... as I'm always in the cafe. We only have staff on the weekend and even then I still have to be there.
I recently told my group of friends I don't want to be friends anymore. They never visited my cafe or met my daughter, she is now 2 years old. I told them I can't role model such friendships to my children and that it was awful that nobody ever made an effort to meet her in 2 whole years.
I feel stuck. I'm always working alone and feel lonely. I have made more of an effort to be present with my children when im home and really have quality time with them. I'm in the process of trying to sell the business. Being here everyday is literally sucking the life out of me, making me miss my children, really hate the repetitiveness of being here everyday. Starting to hate waking up and being here. I don't know if it's just my hormones. Extremely guilty I can't contribute financially and my children have missed out of summer holidays because I couldn't get time off. I feel really awful that I'm bringing the family down but also feel awful being here. The economy is horribly unforgiving and it's impossible to survive.
Struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I've had bad days, bad times in the past but I feel so low at the moment. I feel like crying all day everyday.