Am I being an overdramatic first time mum?

[Chaoscontrol]

I am 31 weeks pregnant and have the most active baby all day.

Recently, last month or so, she's had quiet days, first time I called MDU and all was fine she perked up the second we got there. Second time was late at night and she was in a very awkward position tucked being my placenta, which is anterior.

I was booked for a scan and everything was perfectly fine. Quiet days became her routine and I was used to them for a few weeks.

Yesterday I called again, she has been quiet for about a day and a half, quiet days had become her pattern but not even Fanta lemon woke this girl up. I have also been poorly with the most horrible cold, so my mind was racing wondering if she was okay... Of course she was, just again in an awkward position.

Now, the reason for this.. All midwives have been super lovely and reassuring I'm not being silly. My husband is the most supportive man during this pregnancy and listens to all my concerns, so why can't I shake this feeling of being overdramatic.

I have another check up scan booked and just feel like I've been over the top, silly and not to worry. Feel like people are rolling their eyes at me and I want to hide about being overly cautious. I'm a first time mum and feel clueless to a lot of this, but I know the 3 times I've called I was concerned for legitimate reasons.

Sorry for the long post, just trying to navigate a very confusing world as best I can. Thank you ✨

Surley too many scans is not good for the baby?

I'd rather be safe than sorry! If you're ever worried then get checked!

I had two weekly scans throughout all my high risk pregnancies so don't worry about that!

Don’t worry, if you feel there are reduced movements then it’s ok to check. And there is no known harm associated with ultrasounds.

Think of it like this: you don't call - because you 'don't want to bother anyone' and the next time you have a routine checkup they can't find a heartbeat - how would you feel? Imagine that next time you are worried about whether to go in or not. Who cares if someone is rolling their eyes at you (I'm sure they are not but even so) - this is your precious baby and you are learning to trust your gut. Best wishes.

Back in the early 80’s when I had my first, they gave me a kick chart, and provided you felt baby kick 10 times in 24 hours there was nothing to worry about.
Not sure if things have changed since then

Always go and get checked out of you are worried about movement. My DS at 31 weeks stopped moving and I worried and worried about what people would think of me, convinced myself that I was being overdramatic and talked myself out of getting checked out multiple times that day. Eventually I panicked and went in that evening and they did the traces, realised he was in distress and delivered him two hours after arriving to get checked. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with your baby, I'm just saying that don't let the weight of other people's opinions influence your decision making if you are ever concerned. I nearly did and it would have been a very different outcome of I had.

There is no evidence this is true.

OP, being a Mum is odd because suddenly you’re responsible for someone else’s health.

I know your baby is still inside you but this is what the consultant paediatrician says to everyone in our local A and E - ‘“If Mum is worried then I’m worried.” Every health care professional would prefer to check out an unborn baby or child rather than risk something being missed.

Scans don't hurt baby at all, they aren't x rays so it's fine. Like another poster, I had fortnightly scans for most of my pregnancy.

OP - they would always, always rather you came in when you didn't need to, than you not come in when you do. Keep doing what you need to do.

Always get checked. I did it heaps with my first. They said you can go every day if you like. Babies still die from placenta issues towards the end, you even see the stories here on mumsnet. It’s so sad. 😞 you’re doing nothing wrong! All you’re doing is telling them the baby is quiet, which is true! and they’re the ones who want to check you.

Do not worry about being overdramatic here. If you have any change in normal movements – contact your midwife/ maternity unit. Scans cannot hurt your baby.

I like the Kicks Count charity –

https://www.kickscount.org.uk/Pages/Category/why-movement-matters

https://www.kickscount.org.uk/what-to-expect

Any change in movements, just get checked. Don’t even question it, just go!

Every single time I’ve been to get checked out for either of my pregnancies, the midwives have always said they would rather people come in if they’re in doubt. It’s what they’re there for! You don’t sound like you’re taking the piss at all, please don’t worry

Of course you're concerned. It sounds as if you're being very responsible and getting checked if you're worried. That is what being a parent is all about! I'm sure nobody is eye-rolling. Why would they?

OP, I was the same as you when pregnant with my girl, it's very hard with an anterior placenta because movements feel so much lighter. Please don't ever feel like you're being overdramatic. Midwifes will always be happy to see you, they would rather check you 100 times and everything be fine as opposed to the risk of missing something being wrong x

I would think it's better to get checked if you're worried as god forbid you didn't and there was actually something wrong, the anxiety alone would drive you crazy .