I’m pregnant!!

[Overitttt]

I’ve just found out I’m pregnant, I’ve got a 16 month old and his dad is…learning to be a parent but can be pretty useless a lot of the time. Am I going to be able to do this ? Do mums even do this ? Is this a normal age gap ? Ahhhh I’m so scared I have no idea what I’m doing here

Congratulations, of course you can do this, I think we all have moments of doubt, but trust me you can do it

Even if financially I know I can’t afford it ?

Op this is already turning into a drip feed.

What are your main concerns? Financial? Tiredness? Lack of support? Do you want another baby?

did your contraception fail? I’d think carefully about bringing another baby into this.

This is a very difficult feed. Im all for supporting others, however at the point when you first initially ask is 16m an age gap. Is your baby going to be 16m when new baby is born? Loads of people have 2 with a 2 year age gap, its hard for sure. But its a nice age gap to have as they will grow together. Are you financially ready for a baby? Your 16 month old should have been weened off milk by now eating proper food so it just means taking some away from your plate to feed your child.
Milk? If you can.. breast feed its cheaper for one, then you only really need clothes and nappies and wipes. Now the government is a fantastic thing at this point. Because surely you would be able to get some help from them if you was to struggle, if you arent bringing in enough money for them, you'd possibly get some help from them.

Are you ready for this baby? Do you feel like you could go on to have this baby?

Did your conteception fail? Were you protected? I mean its clear he wasnt protected.

You need to look at this logically. Mumsnet isnt somewhere that will look at your finance and your home life and tell you that you can do this financially.

Mentally and physically... absolutely!! Women are stronger than you think. Theres people out there on part time jobs with 3 children who are able to afford them. Yes they dont get all the luxuries. But thats fine. They will know that when theyre older, they will understand.

My main concern is I didn’t want another baby yet because of money, mentally I struggled with my first, my partner is not as supportive as he could be.

I literally just got my life back, my baby is now drinking normal milk & eats everything we eat and I’m now able to get back to work part time.

Yes contraception did fail. I’m not very good with dates etc but if my baby is now 16 months, I believe he will be about 26/27 months when I work out my due date.

So for many reasons, I don’t want a baby yet. I’m also currently in temporary accommodation from the council, my plan was to get straight back into work as soon as my 16 month old goes to nursery so I can get us into our own place and do better for myself and my child.

since having a baby, it’s my first time on benefits and getting help from the government which I am very greatful for, but I’ve always been a working person and enjoyed making my own money. This is not realistic long term, I wanted to get back into full time work, I just feel like I would struggle with everything!

Honestly I don’t think you’re in a position to have another baby.

If that's the case then it sounds like keeping it isn't right. Either way a very tough choice.

Whatever your decision, please speak to your GP about long acting reversible contraception (implant, mirena, etc). The vast majority of contraceptive failure is down to user failure.