Issues in pregnancy - mental health

[jt130593]

Hi
I am currently 12 weeks pregnant.

I went for my first scan start of this week, where they found issues with the baby’s arm. So I was referred to fetal medicine and had my appointment with the consultant yesterday.

My babies right hand has not developed, they think it may have been caused by an amniotic band (can’t be 100% certain) but can see one on my scan.

They also said I have only one artery in my umbilical cord instead of 2, which only happens in 2% of pregnancies. The consultant said that it’s too early to tell if this has affected baby so far, and we won’t know until later on in the pregnancy. We will be having more regular scans. But I have done the worst thing and googled this and seen so many horror stories of the impact on babies.

Myself and my partner were absolutely desperate for this baby. But we both agree that we only want one baby, and I can’t help but feel sad that this is just not the experience I wanted.

It’s really impacting my mental health and I am crying everyday. I’m barely sleeping or eating, and I just don’t know if I can do this for another 28 weeks.
But feel so guilty for saying this when I know so many people can’t have children, or have worse issues than this.

Don’t really know what I am wanting from this post, but just don’t know where to turn.

I say this gently OP and I know it’s easier said than done, but try to give yourself a break, be kind to yourself and step away from google. Pregnancy is such an anxious and stressful time, and it’s never nice to receive anything other than completely positive news at a scan. It’s okay to admit that this isn’t the pregnancy experience you expected or wanted, in fact I’d encourage you to allow yourself to feel all of those feelings in order to then accept them and move past them into the rest of your pregnancy. This is all very fresh in your mind right now and probably all feels very scary but the best thing you can do is trust the doctors, they know best, stay away from google. I’m currently pregnant and from the day I tested positive swore I wouldn’t google a single thing because I know that is honestly where madness lies!

Speak with the doctors, contact your midwife and let them know how you are feeling as they can provide amazing support, but above all just try not to worry. For what its worth, my godson also has Amniotic Band Syndrome meaning his right arm did not develop past his elbow and he is the happiest, most confident, lovely little boy. There are multiple charities which I would also encourage you to reach out to on that who can support you x