Pregnant with number 4

[LegitimateFox]

I found out a few days ago. I was 3 weeks and 6 days. I’ve taken 3 more since all positive. I don’t even feel pregnant yet, I still feel like I’ll be getting my period. I’m probably in denial a bit as well.

The problem is my husband and I just aren’t ready. We have 3 under 6. 5, 3 and the youngest will be 2 in April. We live with my elderly parents as it’s a large property and the house will be mine one day. But it’s only a 4 bedroom. We do have a half finished basement and could make the room but it would mean either my children sharing a room or us giving our bedroom to my oldest and finishing the basement for our room.

We aren’t financially or mentally ready but we also don’t think we can terminate. I’m on ADHD and a few other medications as well (all prescribed by my therapist) and I’m still struggling mentally and trying to figure out the right doses and such. I’m not willing to stop my medication that literally helps me to function but I know I’ll have to stop at least one. I also feel I’m being selfish to my other children as I’m stretched thin as it is. I’m a stay at home mom and they all get lots of love and attention but still.

Every time I think about terminating I just think this happened for a reason. I look at my 3 beautiful children and feel sick when I think about an abortion. I’m just so torn. I’m also worried about something happening to me during delivery and leaving 4 kids behind. I never had any complications but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. I’m sorry I’m rambling and I don’t really know what I’m looking for here. I can’t talk to anyone and just had to get this off my chest.

I’m currently 10 weeks with my 4th baby and it’s been a hard pregnancy and iv had days were iv really struggled but it is all worth it onto you can make the decision what is best for you. I no this dosnt help but just wanted you to so now someone has read and knows your thoughts

If in the slightest you feel an abortion isn't the right choice for you then continue with the pregnancy we never regret the children we have but we can regret other permanent decisions we make and the regret never leaves you have to be of a very sound mind and sure of yourself to live with the consequences after an abortion. I'm sure a dr can help with you're anxiety and fears over chilbirth etc and once the little bundle joins the family we realise we make it work everything perfectly slips into place sometimes its better not to overthink things try to stay positive believe it was sent for a reason and goodluck x

I have 4 DC. My 3rd had just turned 1 when I found out, eldest was 7. I was devastated tbh, as I was so happy with my 3.

For personal reasons, termination was just not an option for me.

Our 4th is now 1, and is just a delight. Yes, sometimes it’s hard and I find it overwhelming, but, I felt like that when I only had one at this age (I’m not a fan of early toddlerhood!).

Very best wishes, it’s a big shock.

Things Happen For A Reason is never a logical response - it's more about people adapting to a change in circumstances.
If you want to continue with the pregnancy, that's your choice - discuss it with your husband. Perhaps also with your therapist?
You will manage if you have to. However, it's not going to be easy, so make sure that you can plan ahead. Good luck 🤞

Absolute bollocks that things happen for a reason and no one ever regrets having more children. It may or may not be right for you and you have options available if you don't feel that continuing is the right thing. Discuss with your husband about what is right for your family and don't be pressured either way. It is your body and your choice.

If you're referring to my comment I wasent trying to come across as pro life I am neither either everyone has the right of ofcourse to make there own choice and I would never judge that. This poster in particular sounds she feels it isn't the something she could do and as I said I am very unjudgemental over abortion but believe me it isn't a decsion to be rushed or taken lightly the person has to be pretty sure it's the right choice.

We never regret the children we have! Do you actually think that?

Many many many many women (and men) regret the children they have and to say otherwise is complete rubbish.

Unfortunately I cannot agree I wouldn't change my children for the world its hard work but I have never ever felt an ounce of regret they have been exactly what we needed at the right time.
You are one of the first I have ever heard say you regret the children you have. I hate to think how you're children or so said everyone else who regrets there children ever come across these posts.

People absolutely do regret having a child sometimes.

Your priority is with the kids you already have.

And 💯 respect that.But personally I have never regretted the children we have but certainly have regretted certain decisions made in the past so we have all put our sides and opinions across so hopefully the original poster can make the right decision for her and her family.

Just because you don't regret your children doesn't mean plenty of others don't.

I don't have children but many of my friends say if they could go back in time they would not have children. I am talking parents of grown up children, many with grandchildren and even great grandchildren.

There are loads of posts on mumsnet from mums who regret having children and I find it hard to believe you have never seen any.

You have no right to question my honesty and I have no intent of continuing this conversat on someone else's post. I replied with my opinion to the poster and respect everyone else's.

You don’t need to justify why it’s not the right time to have another child. Four children is a lot in all honesty. It also sounds as though you have a lot on your plate & having to stop some or all of your medication would be tough. Whatever you decide I would get some watertight contraception in place OP!

I just think it is wrong to state "we never regret the children we have" when it is so untrue. YOU don't regret having your children but if OP has the 4th and then struggles badly as many do then she may well regret her decision.

4 children is a lot and will be expensive. Also to have that many young children will hardly be a walk in the park

It doesn't like a very nice situation to have another. What about your parents too?