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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Ghosted by Best Friend for having a healthy Pregnancy

3 replies

KD1988UK · 21/02/2024 19:50

How do you let go?

My best friend of 14 years has been weird ever since I fell pregnant with my double rainbow baby (now 6 months pregnant). It hasn’t been an easy pregnancy, as I was under EPU in the first trimester due to previous losses, then hospitalised due to hyperemesis gravidarum as I was severely dehydrated, and now I am currently in hospital due to heart problems that are exacerbated due to the pregnancy.

I suspect she is being weird because 3 years ago her then boyfriend of 6 years (now husband) wanted her to get an abortion as he didn’t want the unplanned pregnancy (she fell pregnant on the pill), and based on this she had an abortion. They are now married yet he keeps providing reasons to delay TTC (must get married now it is must buy a house first which I know they are some way off from having a deposit. They are 36). I have tried super hard not to talk about the pregnancy but it is difficult when I have been hospitalised and been so unwell-I do ask about her and try to keep pregnancy talk to a minimal. She’s never addressed the abortion with her husband and in fact has hidden it from everyone apart from me and her mum as she was worried people would hate him.

Since getting pregnant she has been unsympathetic, dismissive of my struggles and even at times irritated that I am having difficulties in the pregnancy. I had reached out to her some time ago to ask if she is okay and she said she was but continued to be off. She also began taking days to reply to messages and it would always be me suggesting to meet up. I decided to stop reaching out and it had been a month ahalf with no communication until yesterday…

I have asked her again if she is okay again. She’s read it and not responded.

After all this time I did not think having a healthy pregnancy would result in this. We were very close for 14 years and been through alot together and now this.

How do you cope with losing a friend who you thought would be an auntie to your children and you would know for the rest of your life?

OP posts:
Pumpkindoodles · 21/02/2024 20:03

Haven’t you posted about this before?
I’m sorry it’s obviously shit, but if you stopped talking to her and she made no effort to reach out to you, and you reached out to her again and she’s ignored it there’s not much you can do. I think you got lots of advice last time on how to move forward. It’s hard, it’s sad, there’s no easy way. But she’s shown you she’s not supportive and not a good friend, hopefully you will be able to build some new friendships.

Hiddenvoice · 21/02/2024 20:07

I think it’s hard to say how she’s feeling but sadly she’s not coping with it. You’ve reached out and done all you can so I would leave it now. I know it’s upsetting as you need your friend but she has put distance between you both for a reason.
I wouldn’t try anymore, focus on your pregnancy, your family and other friends.

KD1988UK · 21/02/2024 20:10

Pumpkindoodles · 21/02/2024 20:03

Haven’t you posted about this before?
I’m sorry it’s obviously shit, but if you stopped talking to her and she made no effort to reach out to you, and you reached out to her again and she’s ignored it there’s not much you can do. I think you got lots of advice last time on how to move forward. It’s hard, it’s sad, there’s no easy way. But she’s shown you she’s not supportive and not a good friend, hopefully you will be able to build some new friendships.

I did, I guess I hoped that things would improve but I know you're right. I guess I am struggling with how she could change up on me like that. I was her maid of honour in October.

I need to let go and I guess I need need to process and move on

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