Would a doula mind my toddler while I go to hospital?

[Lagirl20]

I’m currently pregnant and we have no help whatsoever locally to look after our toddler when the time comes for me to give birth. I am trying to build relationships with local ad hoc baby sitters and nannies but there is no guarantee they’ll be available when I need them. If I hire a doula, could they support me in early labour at home and then switch to looking after my toddler while my husband goes to the hospital with me? This is the only option I can think of that guarantees my husband being at the birth with me and my toddler being looked after. Would love to hear from some doulas if this is OK or inappropriate. Thank you!

The Doula's role is to stay with you during the birth, your husband would be the one that should look after your child.

They're not childminders.

I can't imagine they would, it's an entirely different job. You'd be asking a random professional to look after a child unsupervised during their work hours, with no relevant qualifications or insurance.

Would a home birth be an option for you? Any friend or relative who could come and stay for a couple of weeks around your due date? If not I don't think you can guarantee your dh being at the birth.

I have no time for doula but they wouldn't be a childminder!!!
Would you ask the window cleaner to cook your dinner?

No that's not appropriate. If there's no other option, the doula will have to go with you to hospital and your husband stay at home.

I don't believe so. Similar situation and we plan on using a temporary nanny.

Surely the whole point of a doula is to be there for the birth? It would make much more sense for your husband to stay home with his child than a stranger looking after them.

If they wanted to be a babysitter they wouldn't be a doula

Inappropriate.

I'd recommend a home birth if you can! My toddler was upstairs asleep through the whole thing.

A friend of mine is a doula and honestly she gets asked this a lot.

Sorry @Lagirl20 but you are being ridiculous. A doula is there to support you not babysit.

Your options are hire a doula to support you at the hospital and your dh looks after your existing child or if the pregnancy is low risk then you could have a home birth with or without a doula supporting you but your dh would still need to look after your child.

Her job is to be with women during labour and during birth. She is not a baby sitter 😂

Does toddler go to nursery? Ask one of the staff there

Fair enough thanks everyone
I will try a nanny

Thank you!! Can you please share what your plan is? How long are you hiring the nanny for? Are they on retainer? I need help 😩

Best of luck OP. x

We’re in the same boat but have accepted that he’ll miss the birth to look after our toddler and I’ll give birth alone. Not ideal but we don’t have any other options

I’m sorry for the replies you’ve had so far. I wanted to give you some hope. As a doula myself I would certainly support a family in this way. That’s how I see my role to support you whatever you need. I am qualified, insured and DBS checked for childcare. Some doulas won’t want to or be able to do it but I absolutely would. I hope you find one 🙏🏻

Hi. I am a doula and wanted to jump in and say there will be doulas who would be happy to support you in this way. I would reach out to your local doulas and express the type of support you are looking for and see what they say - only they can answer this question really, as every doula is different in terms of the support they will provide.

Hello,
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I wanted to pop on to let you know that as a Doula I would most certainly offer this support and I know lots of other doulas would too. My role is to support the family both antenatal & postnatal. I hope this helps x Wishing you a positive birth. X

I don't understand the role of a doula. Why would any women want a paid employee to accompany them during childbirth? I can not imagine why anyone would want this. I would want and indeed had my DH. He's my best friend and my biggest support in life. What possible reason would I want someone I barely know there. And really no matter how many times I met with her prior, she would essentially be some random person I'm paying.

@ThisIsOk @Jabberwonky and all the other people scoffing and rolling their eyes and yet so far three actual doulas on her saying yes of course they would. 🤣

But isn’t the point of a doula being there to help during labour and birth? Also, do you have the necessary enhanced DBS, first aid qualifications etc to childmind?

The ones I know professionally would have said yes, but they work specifically with vulnerable women so I don't know if their remit is different.

Don't understand all the sarcasm here though, surely many of us will know how hard it is to juggle everything and not everyone is fortunate enough to have lots of people around us who are willing and able to help.

@DifferentAlgebra
A doula can be many things.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doula

People seem confused about what a doula is. There are lots of different roles doulas perform.

Commonly for pregnant women there are pregnancy doulas, birth doulas and Post natal doulas. Some will do all or some of these.

It depends on the need of the client and what is agreed. I'm always amazed at how adamant people are when they aren't doulas and probably have never even used one

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doula