Visitors once born

[excitedmama2be]

JUST CURIOUS TO SEE WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF THIS.

I KNOW PEOPLE WILL WANT TO SEE A NEWBORN ONCE HERE BUT WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK OF THE IDEA ‘WELL IF YOU HAVENT CHECKED IN TO SEE HOW I WAS OR HOW THE PREGNANCY WAS DEVELOPING WHILE PREGNANT”, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN ROCK UP TO SEE THE BABY ONCE HERE

just realised caps was on , sorry :)

I personally wouldn’t take this view, mainly because I know some people are leaving me alone because I don’t like being fussed over.

However if there was someone particular that had really pissed me off during the pregnancy, I wouldn’t have any issue with dropping out of communication for a while once the baby arrives.

Is there something that’s been bothering you, OP?

I have that attitude to. No one reached out to help or offer support even up to the end of pregnancy.
But you know what the cheeky buggers didn't even bother postpartum unless I was visiting locally (family).
My pregnancy and poatpartum realpy showed me how scummy some of my family and inlaws really are.

its just really a couple of people i have in mind
hubbys aunt and cousins and a set of who we thought were close friends - since we announced , i havent had any congrats of them or like how you getting on - totally appreciate people have their own lives

but i do have a feeling when baby is here- they will text him when can we visit- and i just think its damn cheeky asking to come see them when you never showed any interest before

Yeah I think you’re being completely fair there - if they haven’t even congratulated you then they can definitely be last on the invite list to see the baby.

I don’t really want visitors once the baby is here, and I’m not really one for bleating on about what’s ‘fair’ for family or whatever else so I do think what ever the mum wants is what should happen. However your stance seems to be out of spite, which I can’t really get behind. I don’t want visitors because I find it stressful, not just to prove a point or get back at them. You could reach out to them instead, or you could ask for help, or share some info, rather than being a bit dramatic and making it seem like you’re setting them up for a ‘gotcha’ once the baby is here. It’s also just super bad vibes whilst you’re trying to recover to be confronting people. Maybe you don’t mean it that way but that’s what people will think if you say this.

Maybe people are trying not to bother you. Also your pregnancy just isn’t as important to people as your birth and a new baby.
also you’re assuming these people see coming to see your baby as some sort of reward. I go see other people’s babies all the time. If they’re not very close family and friends I honestly couldn’t care less, but it’s just polite. I’d laugh if they thought they were taking such a treat away from me, and think it reflected a bit weirdly on them.

so, no I don’t think it’s a problem to not make time for all visitors, but also I don’t think you should give this particular reason for it.

Nah I completely feel you here.. I was bombarded with visitors after my 1st. My oh aunties x2, nan, cousin and mum all came around at once. We were living in my mums house and she only had 1 couch and a chair so as you can imagine there was a lack of space. It really got to me to the point I was in the kitchen crying to my mum that my baby was being passed around like a hot potato and I just didn't feel comfortable ... and after she'd grown they were no where to be seen. I understand is nanna not being able to get out and that's fine, she's always helped us and adores our current child. But the others I just cba with! Like his cousin messaged me when I was 20 weeks to congratulate me and I was just thinking come on... youve known since I was 12 weeks I cba with this fake conversation of interest just so you can come cuddle a newborn. So my view is if you don't bother with my daughter, don't expect to be in any rush to meet our newborn in summer. The only visitors I genuinly don't mind coming around are my mum, auntie, uncle, and my OH mum and one of his cousins as they're the only ones who have been there for our daughter since birth. I can't be fooked with people coming for newborn cuddles then never seeing them again. Grinds my gears 🤣

I should add that obviously everyone will get to meet our new baby eventually. But it's likely to be after a good few weeks/months when I'm ready to take baby out of our home to see them. Only our immediate family will be invited in those first few weeks:)