Annoyed by situation

[forumposter]

Posted on this a little while ago about telling a guy I was pregnant. We’re not in a relationship. The last time I saw him I went round to his and told him. Then a week later we had a phone call and agreed to sit down and talk.
I’ve chased him up about setting a date for this and asked when he’s free but it’s been a few days and he’s not responded.

He’s away over half term with his kids so I don’t want to bother him, but getting fed up of him not reaching out to me (seems I’m the one that has to reach out).

I don’t want a relationship with him but want him to be involved and want financial support from him. I'm pissed off by the situation and trying to keep myself from losing my shit with him.

Not sure why I'm posting this other than to rant and seek any advice if anyone has any.

I haven’t yet told anyone I’m pregnant.

You can’t make him be involved but you can make sure you go to CMS as soon as you register your baby and are able to do so.

I would guess, given his avoidance, that he doesn’t want to be involved either with your pregnancy or once the baby has been born.

Just to clarify: by "a guy" you mean the man who got you pregnant? And he now knows?

you say you need financial support and you want him to be involved but it looks like he doesn’t want that. Sorry.
is he in a relationship with someone else?
he has children so this is not his first rodeo, he knows what he is doing.
how many children does he have?
do they have the same mum?

you might be lucky and get financial help but you can’t force him to be more involved if he doesn’t want to be.
I feel for you but you may have to accept you’ll be a single parent in all aspects.

Yes

It might be that at the moment you’re focusing on having a conversation with him to make you feel better/more comfortable about the situation. However if he’s being avoidant, you might not get the answers you need, even if he does come to talk to you at some point.

I would suggest setting aside some time by yourself away from distractions and writing down the questions you want to ask him. There might be one question, there might be hundreds, but write them all down. Make them as specific as possible (so instead of, “do you want to be involved” which is quite general, something more specific like, “do you want me to tell you the dates of scans?” “Would you like to know the sex of the baby?” “Do you want to be present for the birth?” “How often would you like to see him/her in the first few weeks?” etc).

Then, go through each question and decide on your plan if he either never answers it, or answers in a way you don’t like. So if he says he doesn’t want to see the baby in the first few weeks, how will you handle that?

This might help in 3 ways: firstly, you’ll work out what answers you actually really want. Once you’ve written the questions out you might realise you don’t care about some of them. Secondly, if you do get a chance to talk with him, you will be able to be focused and direct, without too much emotion. And thirdly, you’ll effectively have worked out your Plan B if he doesn’t communicate with you.