I was with this man near enough 2 years we broke up back in may due to him being abusive towards me , few months later I found out I was 20 weeks pregnant I told him because I didn’t know what to do at that point i was basically half way so I decided to keep her, he was so happy and I fell into his manipulation again he deluded me into thinking I could have the happy family I wanted then he started to get distant , barely messaged or wanted to see me, called me names basically made my pregnancy one of the worst and most lonely experiences then when I tried to voice how he’d made me feel and that I wouldn’t feel comfortable having him at her birth after hurting me so much he blocked me telling me he’d go through the courts, less than a week later I saw he was speaking to another women who had kids and it broke my heart , I’m now 35 weeks pregnant and iv done it all on my own the hardest part is the fact he actually wanted to be in her life but isn’t safe to be I hate that I let myself fall into the delusion again but the way he’s treated me during this is something I never feel I’ll get over , the disrespect iv allowed because I didn’t want to be alone. The thought of even trying to move on eventually or even date as a single mum is so scary to me i will be focusing on my daughter for a long time but just knowing that’s something to come is heartbreaking because even after everything he’s done I still miss him I can’t work out if it’s just pregnancy emotions getting the better of me or if I didn’t break the trauma bond as much as I thought I did I just feel lost