Best (most sensitive) way to tell best friend I'm pregnant

[Thornberry1]

My best friend and I have both had very difficult (but different) pregnancy & fertility journeys. We've both experienced loss and heartache, with everyone around us getting pregnant seemingly very easily.

We're both still young-ish (early 30s) not that that's particularly relevant! The only positive of us both having such hard times is we've had each other - to rant, cry, ask if the other also feels xyz emotion, drink, not drink etc!

I've just had my 12-week scan - I can't believe it, so thankful. How do I tell her, and let her know that I still understand how she feels and I'm still there for her. We've both said we'll be happy for each other when it happens, but I know it'll still hurt. I just don't want her to feel alone. And also don't want her to feel she needs to ask about my pregnancy etc.

From my own experience, I know text is best and I obviously won't be sending scan photos. Anything else that would help? I know she feels crap on a Monday so maybe a Friday?

My absolute dream would be for her to say she's pregnant too!

TIA for any advice xx

Hi @Thornberry1 I have the same dilemma with a very good friend. We went through similar last year, and really struggling to word things in a message to her as I really don’t want to upset her, but also don’t want her kept in the dark or finding out further down the line. Any advice would be very welcome x

Hi @Khanga27 congratulations lovely! And sorry it's so difficult to share your good news.

I wanted to let her know I know how hard it is to get news like this, but without being patronising. I ended up going with...

Hi friend, hope you've had a good week.
I've got some news that I'm quite nervous to share - I'm pregnant, just over 12 weeks.
I feel so strange sharing this news and just so sorry that we've had such challenging journeys. It all feels so emotionally complicated. I dont know what to say so dont feel like you need to either. I love you so much xx

She was lovely about it, as I'm sure your friend will be. I feel awful but there's no easy way around it really. Good luck xx

I've been the friend in your situation more times than I care to remember. Don't call, text. That way, she doesn't have to choke on the lump in her throat while she responds

Ignore my post! I replied straight away without realising it's not a new post! Sorry!

This is such a lovely message @Thornberry1 and I am pleased to read your post over here after chatting on the other thread. I have a really similar situation coming up, with my last pregnancy I broke the news when we all met up when I was 10 weeks and it was obvious I wasn't drinking. She later confessed their troubles TTC (I had suspected) and now I am in knots thinking about how to tell her as we have a similar meet up planned already and I'll be the same stage again (hopefully). I really don't want to upset her.

Ahhh hello @MrsScotland! It's not easy.. She'll feel sad for herself but I'm sure really happy for you, especially after everything you've been through. Are you thinking of messaging her in advance of the meet-up?

I definitely will, I think I will message the girls once we've had the early scan, if everything ok at that point. Then that gives 3-4 weeks notice. They were all so supportive after my TFMR that I want them to know and be there for me this time x

That's lovely! It's so nice sharing good news with people who were with you throughout the bad times ❤

That's a lovely update op. Your message was spot on imo and I'm sure she appreciated your position just as you appreciated hers.
Good luck with navigating all those moments where emotions can get tricky, but I get the feeling that two people with such a nice friendship will only come through all the stronger.

Congratulations OP and your message was really lovely.
Wishing you well and also your friend too.