5 chemical pregnancies and feeling triggered

[Berrylady]

I’ve had 5 consecutive chemical pregnancies, and I’m feeling so triggered tonight. Lots of my friends are having babies, and I’m trying to hard to feel happy for them, but I am desperately wishing for that to be me. I currently have 1 daughter, who I am eternally grateful for, but it breaks my heart when she asks me for a brother or sister to play with.
Everywhere I look I see pregnant women or newborn babies and my heart just aches.
Does anyone have any tips or books or anything that can help me process this?

I’m so sorry for your losses. I’ve been in a similar place: struggling to get/stay pregnant when all my eldest wanted was a sibling. I felt like I was letting him down so much.

I had some therapy (after a very difficult loss) and we worked through why I wanted another — separate from wanting to give my husband another baby, and my son a sibling. It didn’t take away all the hurt, but it did, for me, help reduce my guilt and make it feel more bearable. We then luckily went on to have our littlest. He came along when I’d pretty much given up hope.

Wishing you all the best.