Older mum?

[Bamboo2512]

I found out this week I'm pregnant, not planned but very happy.

I will be 36 when baby is born. I have 1 child who will be almost 13 by then.

In my head I've always thought in 6 years my daughter will be 18, i would be 41, she may be at uni but will ultimately be very independent and I will have alot more time to travel, build my career more, enjoy life a bit more care free etc.

Now getting my head back around to being a mum again and not having an 18 year old until I'm 54! Am I crazy!?😅

I know once I tell my daughter she will be so happy to have a sibling and is so maternal she will be like a second mum with the age gap.

Has anyone else been through similar and how did you find it?

I had my first DC at 36. Second at a gnat's under 39. So DC2 will be 18 when I'm I'm almost 57. Yes, it's later than average, but not a complete oddity.

How "normal" this is also depends on your social circle and where you live - I'm in south London and that's about average for a first time mum here. I had my first at 37 and am weeks away from giving birth for a second time at 40. I don't feel particularly old and not a single medical professional has mentioned my age as a cause of concern once. Very uncomplicated pregnancies so far.

I'm not sure how I'd feel about such a large age gap, but if you're happy and you think your dd will be excited, then don't give a second thought to your age. It's really not that big of a deal!

I had my third at 37 and I can’t say I felt or feel old! So go for it I say!

I was about to say the same. 36 doesn’t really sound that old to me. I had my first at 37 and all went very smoothly.

It’s not old.

Thanks everyone.

I think it's just a me thing with my age as I don't know anyone my age with younger children that's all however I am sure I will meet them as time goes by.

My partner is 5 years younger than me so I'm always mentioning my age which is a me issue.

We are both really excited though and will be a whole different experience being a mum at 23 to now at 36

Add another 10 years before even worrying yourself with that question

I'm pregnant with #2 at 30 years and I understand what you mean. I have friends my age with 10 year olds

Previous generations Would have all kids grown by mid-40s.

Now it's normal to have teenagers in your 60s. Doesn't make for best quality of life imo having seen my mum do it.

This change is complicit in more people having fertility issues too. Anyway just how things are now, I'm sure you'll/we'll be fine.

I'm having my first at 38

I thought it was pretty common now to have kids in your 30s now tbh.

Just has second at 35, I don't feel old, or 35.

I had DS at 23, DD at 24 and will be having number 3 any day now at 34. I keep joking/ talking about how I’m old and I definitely feel like an older mum having had my first so long ago. However, I’m not. I’d say most of the people I have met are within 2 years or so of me. I’m planning a number 4 as well so we shall see how old I am for that one!

What’s more strange is the concept of parenting for most of my adult life and losing the freedom I thought I’d gain at 40. This baby was planned though and I had already decided I was prepared to do that

I am 40 and pregnant with my 1st after 12 years of trying with multiple IVF etc. Wouldn't have chosen it this way but here we are! I was worried I'd be treated differently because of my age but no one has batted an eyelid and I've had no complications during the pregnancy. I have 2 friends also expecting their 1st babies at 36 and 37 so not massively younger.

I turned 37 just after my youngest was born . My first was 15. I find the world a different place to what it was back then ( pre credit crunch)

What I have found is that people don't know I have an older child, and treat me as if I'm naive until they find out otherwise.

I'll be 39 when I have my first and in an ideal world I'd like to have another. I have friends in very similar positions as well as friends with much older kids.

For me the bottom line is I wasn't ready to have them any earlier and I have loads of great memories and experiences from my 20s and 30s, so it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I am a mum to 3 girls already ages 15, 10 and 7 and I am 17 weeks pregnant aswell and will be 35 when new baby is born, I don't really consider it to be an older mum until maybe 40+ loads of women are having babies around mid 30's

I am 36 and about to give birth to my first but it will be one and done for me.

Ideally would have liked to be younger to start a family but it's just the way it's gone for me.

I certainly don't feel old and not faced any judgement, the doctor even said she wouldn't class me as old at all!

I’m an older mum. DS born when I was 44.
I wouldn’t consider anyone under 40 an older mum.

I just turned 36 a couple of days ago and my first is due in May. I go to a pregnancy yoga class and I’m very much in the middle of the ages that attend so think this is quite a normal age to have a baby now.

I had my first at 20 and will have my last at 38! Age is something I worry about but honestly as long as you’re healthy, it really is just a number. Allow yourself to think about it, process it, move on and enjoy your life ❤️

I just had my first and I'm 37 i don't think of myself as old it's just the hand I was dealt and I couldn't be happier

If 36 is old then I'm geriatric! I find it quite insulting to be honest the suggestion that I'll be too old to be an active mum.

Just had my first at 38. Didn’t realise I was so ‘old’ ffs 🤦🏻‍♀️ Took me six years to get pregnant so didn’t have much choice.

Interesting thread and even more interesting how I found it, as I read the 2009 article of the woman who got pregnant at 47 :)) I see there are so many Mums over 40 and it's actually quite encouraging....I would still love to have children (one would be great) but this last month has been quite emotional as the reality of it happening is possibly really slim. Relationship I had ended recently and starting over at 45 plus is daunting, body exhausted, meno knocking and thinking this should have been something considered really hard 10 yrs ago at most. It hurts to almost think it's time to give up and be the free, rich and fun auntie ....I've been crying alone for some weeks as I always saw myself as a Mum but circumstances and life glitches/choices/hurdles meant it didn't happen...it really saddens me, but somehow I'm still hopeful...Do men over 40 without kids, ever have this yearnings or feelings? I always wonder..Or is it hormones playing tricks on us women more....

I was nearly 38 when ds was born, had a good pregnancy but birth was rough but that had nothing to do with my age.

Op, I had my only at 45. DS will be 18 when I am 63.

I haven't regret it so far. He's just started 6th form, we have a good life, get on well. I don't think you're mad at all. As long as you want your baby and will love it, I don't see a problem.