Need your tips for breastfeeding

[Nomoreafterthisone]

With my first breastfeeding was a shit show. They were a sleepy baby, didn't feed easily, had to "torture" them with wet wipes on the feet to stay awake (midwifes advice) and then they lost too much weight and we were kept in two extra days. I was told that supplementing with formula was the only way to get them to gain weight so was mixed feeding from day 2 which I think signed the death warrant for my supply and both our ability in this new skill as it was so early. I also think a contributing factor was being kept in. They said it would be bad to go home as baby would be out of the hospital system and we'd need to go to ane and wait if they continued to lose weight. I wasn't sleeping in the ward, noisy, bright and was slowly losing my mind. I would have been more relaxed and supported at home.

Fast forward a week and my nipples were bruised and bleeding. Feeding was agony. The midwife just said latch was fine and that they just had a strong suck.

I made it 6 weeks in total before completely moving onto formula. They are absolutely thriving and this is not a question about which is better as I think both breast and formula feeding have huge pros and cons for me personally.

BUTTTT what can I do to have a better time this time round? I might not BF for any longer but I want to reduce the pain and misery. It sometimes got to the point I'd cry when they cried as I knew it meant they needed fed.

Any advice on feeding or equipment to buy or just words of encouragement will be gratefully received!

Have you thought about colostrum harvesting? Having some expressed colostrum syringes may take some pressure off in the first day or so.

If you feel you’ll do better at home, try to arrange a 6 hour discharge if you have a vaginal delivery. Organise appropriate childcare/activities for your older child so that you aren’t trying to do too many other things, and spend the first 48 hours or so tucked up in bed skin to skin with baby. Avoid too many visitors or distractions.

If you can afford to pay for a lactation consultant or postnatal doula to come in the first couple of days, even better. But if not, then make sure the midwife who visits you on day one watches a FULL feed.

I had a hard time breastfeeding and the two things that made a big difference to pain and supply were a hospital grade breast pump, to build supply and to supplement with bottles in the first few weeks. The post natal ward had a medela symphony I used and it was brilliant. You can rent them for home.
The other thing was nipple shields. All the midwives and lactation consultants said not to use, but they were a life saver when I was in pain and bleeding and let me carry on.

The right support, make sure you know where that is. I was able to “check myself in” to the local midwife run unit. They were able to provide 1-2-1 support for feeds which helped me get there. If it hadn’t been during lockdowns local breastfeeding groups would also have been great.

Other obvious things like your DP is responsible for everything else including making sure you are fed and always have a drink on the go. Lots of water and porridge/flapjack helped me. Finally do limit visits from others unless they are going to be helpful and don’t worry about taking yourself up to your safe space for feeds until you’ve cracked it. You genuinely do need to spend a lot of time snuggling with your newborn, skin on skin and I found doing that in my bedroom was best for me.

Thank you. I'm having a CS but hoping it's 1-2 days instead of 5 like last time!

I really like the advice to spend 2 days tucked up with baby. I was so exhausted at hospital and baby was so sleepy I let them sleep in their side sleeper. I think cuddles will help milk production.

I harvested colostrum before and will be doing it again. Just not sure about doing it before baby is here as my last baby arrived a bit early.

Pleaaaaase ask for the details of the hospitals IBCLC a proper lactation consultant.
No shade but Midwives are useless and their training is limited they are not experts.

Here are some useful links:

https://thebreastfeedingcompanion.com/

https://www.emmapickettbreastfeedingsupport.com/

Milkology is a good one and Kelly Mom.

My midwives did suggest colostrum harvesting from weeks 36 and I wish I did that.

Try the silver nipple cups- they work so much better than I thought they possibly could. I had a newborn who seemed to need to be latched 24-7 and found it so so painful at first, I really didn't think I could continue, but at the same time was so overwhelmed I could t begin to get my head around how I would manage bottle feeding either. I bought some of the cups and within 24 hours of using them the pain lessened so much

Go and visit your local BF support groups now. I volunteer at one and we are always happy to chat to expectant mums (as long as we have time/no screaming hungry babies!), but also coming when you're pregnant you will get to know where to park, what the format is, if you can bring your toddler - questions that I know I would have found really overwhelming with a brand new baby.

While a lot of what you say could have been just down to a bad latch, it makes me wonder if your first was ever assessed for tongue tie? When I chat to 2nd/subsequent mums with a TT'd baby they will often say the first had one, or that they had issues (much like you) that sounded v indicative of one. There's no research into genetic link but I see it, over and over.

(And if baby does have one - support group!! Even - especially - after a snip!)

How early did your first arrive? I’d second colostrum harvesting from 37 weeks if your midwife is okay with it. I did, but didn’t need it in the end. But it made life easier knowing I had a stash to give the baby if they struggled to latch like my first did. Then it’s a case of as much skin to skin and cuddles as possible and making sure to feed every two hours. Nipple balm is also your friend.

This

Do all hospitals have them? And thank you for the links!

I'm so sorry about your experience : ( We had a rough start too... And the nr 1 thing I'll do differently this time is bring my pumps to hospital and start pumping immediately at any signs of nipple trauma. Last time I was kept in hospital 5 days without any expert consultations, at which stage the damage (due to tongue tie mostly, in our case) was done... And I pumped 2 months full-time before I was healed enough to even contemplate slowly going back to breastfeeding. The other top tip I have is to follow Olivia lactation consultant on Instagram : )

I think I lasted 4 days until a midwife friend of mine recommended nipple shields, I was in agony and honestly they made feeding painless. I could not believe the difference, my baby latched well with them and I used them for around 4 months until I just naturally weaned off them and now at almost 7 months I am still breastfeeding without them. I definitely used them longer than most but they just worked well for me, honestly don’t know why midwives advise against them. I’d wear a shield inside my bar if I was going out and that saved the faff of trying to put one on in a cafe etc. I’d also recommend silver cups for healing, I got mine off Amazon and some nipple cream too.
All the best x

Research local private lactation consultant so that if you have any issues you can contact them...about 4 midwives missed my DD's tongue tie, and told me my latch was fine and it was normal for my nipples to be cracked and bleeding 🙄. Nipple shields saved our breastfeeding journey while we were sorting out DD's tongue tie. I know they have a bad wrap but it was either use them or give up. We got off them no problem and just finished breastfeeding at 16months. Congratulations and good luck 💐

• Harvest colostrum from 36 weeks (I didn't do this but wish I had as I found it hard to express the day she was born and the midwife had to help me for a good hour squeezing my boob at 2am the night she was born). Harvest and freeze it. Won't look like much but it's so rich and high in calories they don't need much.
• Latch as often as possible.
• Lots and lots of water.
• Eat a great diet - lots of protein and healthy fats.
• Could try fenugreek to aid supply. I drink Mothers Milk and it really helped increase my supply (think it can reduce supply though in people with thyroid issues so research).
• Nipple balm.
• Boob massage.
• Nipple shields.
• Lactation consultant.
• Pumping.

My baby dropped more than 10% weight at birth so I've always had to combi feed with to formula. It's painful waiting 5 days for milk to come in but remember you have about 6 weeks before your supply regulates itself.

Always lead a feed with the boob first and if you need to use formula, consider using it as a top up after a boob feed.

Came here to suggest these as well, honestly they are amazing.

I had a sleepy baby the first time who just wouldn't wake to feed so switched to bottles at day 4. He just wouldn't latch and I was terrified of him losing too much weight, he had jaundice - we went straight to bottles.

Next baby arrived via c-section and he was rooting the moment he was born.

My only issue was supply. Either the c-section or the pre birth stress - by day 7 I had no milk.

What I did differently was spent the money o a private consultation with a lactation consultant and made a 3 day plan to be ready for post birth. Worth it

@Nomoreafterthisone may already have been said but lanolin nipple cream and breast pads. Put the cream on after every feed with a breast pad on top. It's soothing and keeps your nipples soft so they're less likely to crack. Just from Amazon:
https://amzn.eu/d/gfCzE0Z

Wear PJs for a week post birth and stay in bed. This is a baby moon. Cuddle baby, breastfeed, watch tv, play with toddler in bed. Guests won’t expect you to entertain them.
This is all to give you a chance to relax, recover and focus on getting breastfeeding going.

Honestly a lot of it is baby dependent. Mine was a c-section but came out rooting and never stopped 😂. While everyone else and their babies were sleeping I was pacing the ward with my baby that refused to sleep anywhere but in my arms. I could not get on with how the midwives were 'teaching me' to feed. The hold wasn't natural, latch was shit. Swapped to rugby hold and effect was instantaneous. Baby was so much easier to feed, perfect latch. There were peer supporters in from a local charity, they also ran antenatal classes. Only lost 6% and back up at 9 days. I'd recommend lactation consultant or local charity, try different positions.

Also, jaundice occurs due to build up of broken down blood products. They get cleared when baby fills their nappy. So if baby isn't feeding, less filled nappies, more of the products builds up and get jaundice, which is now more common due to delayed cord clamping. If you do get discharged before feeding established it's almost certain you'll end up back in with a jaundiced baby very quickly.

on top of my other recommendation, I want to echo about a good diet too. With my first, i think the combination of a hard labour and the intense experience of trying to breastfeed a hungry child (who wanted to feed non/stop) meant I needed a lot of high quality calories, which I didn’t get. I was too exhausted. By the time my baby was a week old, I weighed less than I did before pregnancy. Second time round, I was much better prepared and knew I needed to eat all with lots of protein, good fats etc.