Would you go to hen do in first trimester?

[HeartyCrow]

Just found out I'm pregnant. Have a hen weekend abroad at 6 weeks pregnant. It will appear very weird to bride and close friend if I'm not drinking, so whatever I do I'll need to tell them.

So far my symptoms feel quite full on for having just missed my period. I'm queasy, constipated and have stomach cramps. No idea how I'll feel in another fortnight (first time preg).

What would you do? Go on the trip and give bride and close friend a heads up? Cancel now? Wait and see how I'm feeling (and risk cancelling late on)?

Depends on the trip. If a full day of alcohol, I'd not go, though would put in an appearance if local.enough.

If an activity *that is suitable for pregancy and the focus isn't alcohol then that's

I would go (and did go, at 6 weeks!). Didn't announce to anyone I wasn't drinking, I just chose non-alcoholic options. If anyone noticed, they didn't care enough to mention it.

It's a 3 day trip abroad. Some non alcohol afternoon activities but expected to be lots of bevvying too - which usually I'd be very up for so it's awks!

It depends, you may want to make sure you have good health insurance that will cover you for any emergencies. And obviously depending on the activities if you can’t get involved it may just not be very fun.
personally at 8 weeks I was sleeping for about 17 hours a day, so I also wouldn’t have been much fun to have around. But everyone’s pregnancy is different.

I went to a weekend hen do at 6 weeks pregnant, not abroad just in another city but it involved alcohol etc. I just kept switching the drinks to soft drinks or going up to the bar and ordering mocktails. The worse issue was tiredness, that was very hard for me.

I went on a hen do at 8 weeks - I told everyone before, so there were no awkward conversations when there. Had a great time, despite being the only non-drinker

On a friend’s hen do a few years ago, one of my other friends told me she was pregnant so I could help her keep it secret from everyone else. So I helped her switch out alcoholic drinks for soft ones, and at the wine tasting activity I sat next to her and she tipped her wine into mine whenever everyone was drinking theirs - I got very drunk 😂.

In your situation, I think I would give the bride a head’s up now, because either way you’ll want to let her know at the time. Be honest about how you’re feeling - not everyone understands how difficult early pregnancy can be. If it’s possible ask her if it’s ok for you to make a late decision so you’ll know how you’re feeling, but if she says you need to decide now then just be prepared with what your answer would be.

I think it entirely depends on the group going, how you usually socialise with them, how you're feeling etc.

If you're feeling crap, don't go.
If you don't want to tell people but usually socialise with drinking and it would be obvious something was amiss if you weren't, then don't go.
If the group are people you don't know well, who will try and pressure you to drink or spend the whole time guessing if you are or aren't, then don't go.

I know its not the same but i flew long haul at 6 weeks for 10 day holiday , for me i didnt have any tiredness at that point , just mostly food aversions with the odd spells of naseua. just stuck to soft drinks and mocktails for the 10 days

I went on a hen do at about 7 weeks pregnant. I told the main bridesmaid/organiser and she helped me switch alcoholic drinks and even made me some fake vodka jellies. As PP have said it was the tiredness that I struggled with but I had a small child at home so people didn't question me when I sloped off to bed early.

I went on a hen do at 10 weeks. I told the bride to be but to everyone else I was on antibiotics and therefore not drinking. I swapped cocktails for mocktails and had a lovely sober time 😀

Yes. I did.

Say you're on antibiotics/medication.

How close are you to the bride to be? The closer you are the more you should make the effort I think, it's late to pull out for whoever has organised it.

I went to my sister's hen do at 6 weeks pregnant but I told my mum and two sisters. So my non hen sister drank all my shots when noone was looking and we asked the waitress to bring me non alcoholic drinks in wine glasses etc. my sister was very drunk at the end of the night and noone else had a clue! I still had a fun. It was only one night tho, so depends if you want to go away for longer etc x

Yes, did do. Skipped massage and cheeses and alcohol (brewery tour!) and some girl guessed. Didn’t really care though. Was my first pregnancy, if I had known better I would have risked the massage for sure!!

I’d go if you can go back to the accommodation when you need to, ie you’re not stuck waiting for others to want to go back. Make sure your health insurance will cover you. It’s tricky timing as ideally you’d want to get a scan before going to check no ectopic but most places won’t scan til 6 weeks. Having had a miscarriage I’m now very paranoid to go away in first trimester in case it happened again. I’d tell the bride now, assuming you
must be 4 weeks anyway it’s not long to go? And kindly, if 4 weeks, still in chemical pregnancy risk phase