Depression/ low mood in pregnancy

[Sunnyside1990]

I'm 28 weeks pregnant and I've been feeling so happy and positive this pregnancy so far (it's my first), but a couple of weeks ago my mood suddenly took a nosedive and I've found myself feeling incredibly depressed most of the time.

I feel so guilty about it- this is very much a wanted pregnancy. I'm in a same sex relationship and we went through expensive fertility treatment to get pregnant and I am so so ashamed of how im now feeling. I've lost all confidence in my ability to be a good mum. I dont feel like I deserve my baby. I can't even cope with going into baby shops or doing antenatal classes without breaking down crying. The overwhelming and wonderful love I felt for the baby has been replaced by emptiness and I feel like the worst person in the world.

I went to the GP today and they referred me to the perinatal mental health team but I have no idea how long it will take to see someone there. My partner is supportive but I know this is stressful for them. I don't know how I'm meant to cope with a baby when I can barely cope with myself.

Sending you a massive hug. You have no need to feel guilty.

I suffered severe depression and anxiety for most of my pregnancy. It's not spoken about much, like PND, but it is common and others have been through it. Mine was a very much wanted pregnancy too. And I felt terrified I wouldn't be able to take care of my baby.

The perinatal mental health team should see you quite quickly and offer you lots of support.

With support, counselling, and medication I felt better by the end of my pregnancy and thrived as a new mum. I promise you this feeling won't last forever

Don't feel guilty or doubt yourself for a moment, that is just your depression talking. To have gone to so much effort to conceive speaks volumes about the type of parent you will be. I would imagine peri natal mental health referral waiting times would be short, otherwise by the time you got an appointment you would be post natal. Hope my logic helps. Depression is a cruel life mate, I have in depth experience of it, and sometimes it is induced by stressful life changes, like having a baby. So don't doubt yourself, keep talking, and be kind to yourself self. GL

You poor thing. I experienced this with my second DC but imagine it must be worse with your first.

My perinatal mental health specialists were great and straight on the case so hopefully yours won't waste any time. I was offered antidepressants but chose not to take them at the time. Be honest. They are there to help. They want you well.

Everything lifted for me after the birth, but they still kept an eye on me for a bit. It doesn't necessarily mean PND will follow so try not to worry about that.

Thank you all for replying, and I’m sorry that you’ve experienced similar though it did make me feel less alone to read your comments.

hopefully the perinatal mental health team have a quick turnaround, though i don’t think I’d be able to go back on my old medication while pregnant (there’s increased risk of cleft palate?) and I can’t take anti depressants as they’ve made me manic in the past.

I went off sick from work today which I’m also trying to not feel guilty about- I was off sick in the first trimester for a month with morning sickness. Very grateful that I work for Royal Mail and they have pretty sound sickness policies around pregnancy.

here’s to hoping a few days rest will help

I was put in touch with the perinatal mental health team very quickly after I found out I was pregnant (I have a history of depression and anxiety and am on medication for it). I had weekly check ins and lots of support. I found my depression was a lot worse while pregnant. It stopped being so bad after I gave birth, hours later I felt so much better and more like myself.

I think it's quite common for those pregnant to get depressed. It's a lot of change, physically and mentally. You're definitely not alone with how you're feeling!

Just to add, I didn't get PND. I had one very low day but that was when my milk came in. I did have quite bad PNA, but anxiety has always been something I've struggled with badly anyway.

@Sunnyside1990 how are you doing now?
I'm 16 weeks with my first and feel the cloud of doom has hit me. Highly anxious too. Have self referred for talking therapy so will see how it helps

I feel way way better! I realised I was spinning too many plates to cope and was getting really burnt out and finding it hard to prioritise myself and the baby. Had an assessment with the pre natal mental health team and they were amazing but we both agreed that I didn’t need anything further for the moment, but to get back in touch if that changes. It’s def one of the best mental health services I’ve used and I hope you find the same

I think pregnancy depression is more common than people think and is easily overlooked .

@Sunnyside1990 that's great news! Pleased to hear you are feeling better. I'm feeling a bit more relaxed. Also have an assessment for perinatal mh talking therapy on the 30th so hoping that will help too

Plot twist, I went into labour at 35 weeks 5 days, and ended up delivering via C section 34 hrs later (baby was breech). We’ve been in hospital for three days and will be hopefully out on Friday. It’s been a bit of a blur but I love the baby dearly and so far no sign of horrible depression!

Congratulations, Sunnyside! I had my daughter at 34 weeks (complete surprise) so I remember the blurry feeling well. Be easy on yourself. Don't panic if you get a bit tearful at first because of the hormones. You will be a great mum ❤️ 😊

Honestly OP I think everyone goes through a phase in their pregnancy where they feel low. The hormones are crazy, you're uncomfortable, you're apprehensive about the change coming up in your life, people don't stop talking to you about it making you feel alien at work etc, and you enter the 3rd trimester thinking woah I've got probably 12 weeks left here.
I know I went through a period of about 3 weeks at this point, I felt very low and was having strange tho

Sorry - thoughts, and I was feeling anxious. What I told myself was, it's actually okay to not feel okay, stop being hard on yourself and know that things always feel way worse when you're feeling low and you will feel fine again very soon.

All the best OP you'll be great x

@Sunnyside1990 congratulations 🥳 enjoy every moment and hope you're being well looked after x