how bad for baby?

[mum2bean]

iam/was a smoker myself and my partner is still smoking and it still smells soooo good, how bad is it for people to smoke not around me but enough to catch a wiff, and should i give up 100 %???

Yes and so should your partner.

It's a no brainer imho.

thats what i thought, but my nurse told me that if i get too stressed out by not being able to smell it, or i am finding it too hard to go cold turkey, to cut down as the stress that it causes would be bad for my unborn baby.
she also advised me to drink guiness!
my pregnancy is gettin gvery stressfulll at the mo, as i am at loggerheads with my partner over whether baby clothes are more importnant than a ps 3!

Baby clothes of course!

I would argue cigarette smoke is much worse. I can't see your partner giving up for the sake of his baby though when he is still putting himself first.

there might well be a smoking cessation midwife you can see

of course both of you giving up is the goal to aim for, with you definitely giving up, and encouraging DP to do the same

why are you being advised to drink guiness? if you are low iron , then spatone is a better alternative than alcohol!

there is a smoking helpline you could ring. You should try and give up, its very bad for baby. Tell your DH if he has to then do it outside, away from you and to not offer you cigarettes.

Iron - you could try taking pregnacare, has iron as well as other vitamins. Alcohol is also dangerous.

If you don't do these things then there will never be a question that you didn't do what you could if something was to go wrong.

link here

gosmokefree.nhs.uk/

mum2bean, is your mw from the 1940s?

I gave up smoking three months before TTC and absolutely hated the smell for the first three months. Then whilst not actually wanting one I started liking the smell again... That stopped when I read that when you're actually smoking you smoke through a filter, removing some of the most harmful chemicals, passive smokers get all the bad stuff. Don't do it!

Would you really get that stressed by not being able to smell it...?

PS3 sounds great - but it will get very dusty for the first year or two when you're too busy with your new 'toy' to play it!

My SIL was given the same advice about smoking so carried on smoking throughout her pregnancy. Her DD was only 2800g.

I think that the stress is much less damaging to an unborn baby than cigarettes.

trip trap?

please please be strong. Imagine if baby got asthma - you would never forgive yourself and would always wonder if it was related. babies are hard enough in the early stages without stacking the odds. One of my friends who was a smoker was shown the brown umbilical cord after birth by the midwife as a sign of how much nicotine the baby had taken in.

give up now and get your partner to give up.. this is the best gift you can give your new baby.. baby clothes dont feel so good stinking of tobbaco..

How pg are you? If you're not at the nausea stage yet then you might find it easier then.

I gave up as soon as I found out I was expecting DS (he was a wonderful surprise) TBH I only missed it for the first couple of days. I got such bad morning sickness I couldn't stand to go near anyone who smoked nevermind have one myself.

DH didn't stop immediatley but until he did he didn't smoke in the house or near me.

My cousin smoked like a chimney through both hers and babies were less than 5lb born. My MIL also did through both hers and again DH and BIL were very low birthweights

Please try to stop, think of all the gorgeous clothes you can buy with all that money saved

As an ex neonatal nurse I say please give it a go.

Go to most pharmacies and they have a programme to help you give up. Talk to your GP even if you have to cut down slowly give it a go.

If you can afford it how about hypnotherapy?

Tell partner that maybe if you both give up you can use some of the money you save from not smoking to buy a ps3

Cigarette smoke for a fetus is poison. I don't mean to be harsh but it is true. The person who gave you two incorrect pieces of information was a nurse not a midwife? If this is correct then do not listen to anything she has to say about pregnancy. Nurses are not trained in any way specifically about pregnancy. They may attend one or two shifts on a labour ward as a student, so they may not have even seen a birth.

It is also really important that your partner gives up as cot death is unfortunately much more likely in the home of someone who smokes. It is the biggest risk factor. It can be really hard to stop, so do ask for help from the links that people have put here, they will be really useful for you. You would be really helping your health and that of your baby. Good Luck hope it isn't too difficult for you.

surely, whose that billy goat?

I had a friend who smoked and her baby was born with a really big head and a small body and just looked ill, basically. I am sure there is a medical condition that stops the baby growing in proportion if the mother smokes heavily.

yeah definitely have to try that approach with him! give up smoking, get the clothes then a ps3!
I have no idea why my nurse told me that, it did confuse me, becasue obviously sif smoking is bad for my body, it would be bad for my child too.
I have tried to give up before now, but unfortuantely, i am allergic to the patches and the microtabs, the gum tasted so horrible it made me want to smoke more, and the inhaler done nothing for me. i'mtrying to get accupressure or hypnotherapy ( a friend of mine knows someone who will do it for half the usual price)
as for the guiness thing, i assumed it was just for the iron, and my nan swore by it, i am already taking pregnacare, and as far as i know my iron isn't that low, but i missed my first appointment due to a funeral and have had to wait a while to get a new one, so if it has changed ( which i dont think it has) i probably wont find out until next week.
thanks anyway, i am doing well at the moment, haven't smoked and neither has my partner for nearly 8 days with no help, excluding arguements!
hopefully i can give up for good, even after my bean is born!

My dsis smoked throughout her pg and her dd was born 3 weeks early and weighed only 4lb 3oz. It is not known how much alcohol is harmful to babies and as there is no known "safe" level it's probably better to abstain.
Well done for giving up, stay strong!

not really bothered about the alcohol, as i am no longer a big drinker, i think i killed that obsession in my younger years by some SERIOUS binge drinking, like every day! not that i had a problem or any hitng, but well i was young, and now i dont really care if i drink or not ( well i do now i pg)
it's just the smoking, geeze, i wish i knew how addictive it really was before i started, wish i hadn't started. i mean all i should have to do is look at one of my close family members and see how bad their health is and that should stop me (emphysemia) but, it doesn't. now i'm pg, there is a lot more at risk, and it becoming easier now i realsie i actuall yhave a cause to give up for, as it's not just my health that is at risk.
still, i do still catch a whiff when i am out shopping or something, and it is sooo hard! but bean is now more important, but it is still hard. still not smoking, just eating more to compensate for it!

My dsis started smoking when she was 15. At that age you have no clue about the future, it all seems like such a long way away and teenage smokers say stupid things like "Well, who wants to live forever anyway?"
Then you're in your 30s, have a horrible hacking cough, your children are asthmatic, your life expectancy is shortened and then it all hits home. Give them up for the baby but stay off them for yourself too!

My step-sister smoked through her first pregnancy and had all kinds of problems and then a tiny baby. Years later she is pregnant with no.2 and is still smoking and every time she has a scan they move her due date back You and DH should stop smoking for everyone's sake. It is one of the key indicators for SIDS too, that the baby is not from a smoke-free home.

When I was in Germany they gave similar advice re just cut back so as to not have so much stress - I think it is a context thing. In Germany just about everyone smokes and they haven't caught on to how bad it is for them yet.

If you smoke while pregnant you are also putting yourself at risk of developing a blood clot in the leg or lungs. This is a potentially fatal condition and until comparatively recently was the leading cause of maternal death in the UK. It has now been superceded by infection and suicide, but is still a significant cause of death and illness.

Think about it like this. Imagine how hard it is for you now, giving up. And you have the single best reason to do it. If your own risk of cancer and death isn't enough your child's health now and in future when she/he lives with a smoker. Increased risk of infections, asthma, chest problems, and of course the chances of them taking up somking themselves at some point.

You do not want to go through ever again. Giving up is hard, don't do it twice. Tell you partner if he is going to be a dad the protection and role modelling starts now.

Its shite but it does get easier. Get fat for a while, least you have an excuse

I want to add my 2pworth here. I am in the same sort of boat as you mum2bean. I have really struggled to cut down from a 20 a day habit and got down to about 3 or 4 a day so far. My aim is to stop completely by the time I am 18 weeks.

THe stop smoking advisor told me that the best way is to set a date that you want to stop by and work towards it, changing your habits and gradually reducing your need for nicotine or just the habit of having a fag.

IT IS NOT EASY. The self-guilt trip has not worked for me at all. Every time I think about it I want another cig. However, if I don't think about it, I can easily go a full day without having one. THe biggest problem for me is extricating myself from the situations that trigger the stress reaction where I would normally say "that's it, I need 5 minutes to get away from you/this desk/this computer [replace with your stress trigger of choice]"

From the advice that I have been given, the last four months are the most crucial in terms of the development of the foetus lungs (I will be quite happy to stand corrected on this - but got if from the advisor) so if you can get yourself to a stopped position by the end of your 4th or 5th month of pregnancy, you are doing fine.

I am also not seeing any changes to my eating, so whereas my mum put on 2 stone after stopping smoking, my appetite is just not changing nor am I having an craving replacements.

The hardest bit for me has been everyone else telling me in a smug way, "I gave up the minute I found out I was pregnant" Good for you I say, but that doesn't mean that just because I havn't managed it that I am a bad mum to be or going to have an underweight, brain damaged asthmatic child.

A girl I worked with didn't find out she was pregnant until she was nearly 7 months. She went out and got p*ssed EVERY weekend, drank half a bottle to a bottle of wine every night, ate everything off the banned list, and smoked. Her baby was born a healthy 8lbs ish (cant remember specifically). I am sure that lots of women smoked all the way through their pregnancies - my nan did and had 4 very health babies. Whereas my other nan didn't and had 5 very small babies full term. A women at work, (much older that me) smoked 25 a day whilst pregnant with hers - no advice to the contrary - her daughter is now a law grad in fabulous health. THis isn't to say that every mum to be who smokes will have perfect children, but just to say that there are enough things to be guilty and stressed about while you are pregnant without putting extra stress on yourself.

The most supportive thing that some people have said to me is "well done for cutting down so much - keep it up".

The ironic thing is that the monday before we found out we were pregnant we had been to an appointment with the nhs stop smoking advisor together and put a plan together to stop.

Sorry, been a bit of a rant, but it is a very hard thing to do and to be honest, not really directed at any of you guys - just a bit low about it all.