19dpo tomorrow to test or not to test.

[Maybethistime7382]

Hiya,

I’m going insane worrying that I may miscarry this baby. I had a chemical pregnancy at Christmas and also a blighted ovum miscarriage back in 2020.

Im 4 weeks and 5 days tomorrow and I haven’t tested since 14dpo. I also had light spotting around this time. Pink discharge which isn’t happening any more.

I guess im wanting to get the reasurance of a dark test so that things so I feel like they are going the right way. I feel like if the test is dark, like my other 2 successful pregnancies at this point, that it will calm me right down

equally if it’s not a dark test then im going to be distraught.

Im struggling to know what to do. I’ve done so well not to test for the last 5 days….it feels like a lifetime though.

shall I just do it and hope I get the relief I’m craving ? What do you think?

thanks if you got this far xxx

Why don’t you ‘track’ with a digital weeks indicator test? Lines won’t be getting much darker from 19dpo on.

It is crazy hard not to keep testing, but pregnancy tests are best seen as a yes/no because the darkness of them is affected by so many things (mainly how much you've drunk, how long since you last pee'd) and the hook effect can make them look lighter because your HCG is super high. I think the increase in anxiety that you might get is not worth the risk (but that is just me).

Also, will it give you relief for any more than 5 minutes? That's what I found with my early scan - relief at seeing baby, but the anxieties were all still there after.

@Rosiiee Thanks for replying. I haven’t tested for 5 days. I guess what I’m after is seeing one due stealer at 19dpo to calm me and then stop testing from there. I’ve got clear blue but saving it until I feel I would deffs get 3+ as I never progressed past 2-3 weeks with my blighted ovum miscarriage 3 years ago.
it’s all a mind F isn’t: just trying to cling onto something to calm the Anxiety for a moment.

@Nejnej Thats exactly what I’m worried about. That horrible, horrible anxiety when things aren’t looking how you’d hope.
but I’m also desperate for a sign things are going in the right direction so I can relax a little (until the next time I guess).

it’s so so so tricky to know what to do 😭I just want to feel some relief xx

@Maybethistime7382 take another test if it’ll calm your nerves. I took one everyday until I got a dye stealer. Also didn’t get my 3+ on digital until I was 6 weeks! I was so relieved once that 3+ showed up!

I felt exactly the same when I first found out I was pregnant, and then one of my best friends who is a midwife told me that tests can be really misleading. You can have miscarried and still get a dye stealer positive test for multiple weeks, and pregnancy tests are not meant for tracking “progress”. They have 2 answers “pregnant” or “not pregnant”, the best advice she ever gave me was that once you get a positive test, put any other tests you have in the bin and you are pregnant until told otherwise. It’s really difficult and I struggled with it but especially in the first trimester there is a lot of anxiety & worry and you really just have to get through it. You have done a test which says you are pregnant, until you have a reason to believe or are told otherwise, you are pregnant, congratulations 🤍 I know it is hard but really try to enjoy every moment, I’m now in my third trimester and my biggest regret is spending so much of my pregnancy worrying. X

I hope this doesn’t sound rude, I mean to be helpful, but to me the idea of doing repeated tests once you know you’re pregnant only comes from MN. Like it’s normalised here but I don’t know anyone who’s done this in RL. It’s not how pregnancy tests are designed to be used, and it sounds like your instinct is that it could bring further unwelcome worry. It’s no wonder you are anxious given your experiences, but I think finding ways to relax and cope with that is the best way forward here. I so hope everything goes well for you

Best of luck

Hi I have to agree with previous posters and say don't test again. I had a MMC at 7 week scan last year and had a very strong positive that morning. You can get HCG blood tests to see if pregnancy is progressing but you would need 2 at least 48 hours apart. Alternatively you can book an early reassurance scan from 6 weeks, I had one at 6 weeks then one at 8 weeks..(IVF so they request a scan) but what I will say is they really don't provide reassurance for long. I'm 20 weeks now and still anxious.

I was obsessed by testing on my first IVF pregnancy and tested daily as in my eyes the darker the test got the more successful the pregnancy was. I was very naive about the process and was completely unaware that HCG remains in your system for many weeks regardless of any issues.
At my 8 week scan it showed there was no heartbeat yet that morning the test was as dark as the test line. It continued to remain positive for almost a month after miscarriage.
As hard as it is, try to avoid anymore testing. It doesn’t bring long term reassurance and could possibly cause more anxiety/stress.
Good luck on your pregnancy :)

Hi all,

thank you for your level headed responses.

I did take the test this morning. As soon as I took it I regretted it as I felt my anxiety spike again…really high to the point of shaking.

the test did come back as a ‘dye stealer’ so it has helped me feel a tiny bit better, but only for a moment like you all said.
I’m already worrying about other things…which is annoying as I felt I’d had my anxiety under control to a point until doing this test.

im going to concentrate on trying to enjoy every day that I get with this baby/pregnancy so that every day it’s still with me it’s loved.

im so sorry for all of your losses. I know too well the feeling of still seeing a positive pregnancy test, even when you know your baby has died. It’s awful.

please god I don’t have to experience that again and neither of you do either

thanks again

xxxxx