So worried and overwhelmed - lots of things

[Strawberry06]

I'm about to give birth any day now (39+3) to what will be our first and only son.

The other night husband told me he's been to see a doctor and been referred for ADHD. It didn't come as a complete surprise to me as some of his behaviours are in line with the symptoms. On the whole he copes well with it but obviously I am worried for our son as these things are often inherited?

He also suffers from psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis for which he takes methotrexate for. Women absolutely can't take it if ttc/pregnant but there's not enough research on men. Some say to come off it 6 months prior, others say fine to continue if low dose which his is. But it's in the back of my mind there'll be consequences from him being on it.

I also have Rh incompatibility as my blood group is B- and baby is predicted to be Rh+ so can only assume husband is Rh+. I'm worried that this could cause problems as well even though I've had the Anti D injection.

And I have Strep B so I'll need antibiotics when I go into labour. Again I'm worried it will get passed on to baby.

And finally I've had the most wonderful and easy pregnancy physically that I feel like I'm in for an extremely difficult birth/baby. I know that's just something people say but I feel it will be true for me!

Im just feeling like we have so much against us that it might have been a mistake having a baby and I feel absolutely awful for saying that cause I try to put these things out my head and just feel excited to meet him. I know we will love him whatever. I just don't know if I should feel genuinely worried or whether it's just hormones? I am quite an anxious person. I don't feel like I can or should speak to anyone about it.

People around us are always saying things like 'oh it's such a wonderful thing' and in my head im playing it down like it won't be wonderful for us cause of one or all of these issues.

If you've got this far thank you for reading and any advice is welcome.

It's hard not to worry isn't it! My first and likely only baby boy is one week old today and I identify with some of these worries.

I also had a physically (not mentally!!) very easy pregnancy - no sickness, no hip pain, no reflux etc. In my case I also had a very quick and easy labor and birth, no epidural, no tears, born four hours after we got to hospital so I couldn't be further from the stereotype of easy pregnancy difficult birth. There's no reason you can't have the same and if your not physically in pain during your pregnancy I do think it helps your body be in the best state to cope with labour so you're on to a winner.

I don't know if ADHD is in any way genetic, I expect it's not a strong link but even if your little boy turns out to have it like his dad, I'm sure you love his dad very much and you'll love your boy even more and knowing a bit about the challenges he could face and how to best support him because you'll know from his dad, means you'll be an excellent parent to this little one no matter how he turns out.

Don't worry about the anti d or the strep. Both have been identified and will be treated - both are only a risk for mum's who don't know about them. Particularly in the case of the strep, the testing is so unreliable and you can have a negative and be positive by the time you give birth. You having it and having the antibiotics in labor means your baby is actually less likely to get it than babies where mum's test negative if that makes sense.

I hope this puts your mind at ease a bit. Lol forward you your little one being here. It's challenging being a be parent but oh so wonderful 🩵