Not crying during pregnancy

[KilledAnotherPlant]

This might be a weird one and surprising I couldn’t find many threads but since it’s the ont thing I can’t find reassurance on I’m fixating on it.

I’ve just not really cried during pregnancy although I’m only 19 weeks. Will this come later? Does it mean I’m gonna to be a detached and uncaring mum? Did anyone else not really cry much? We laugh every day and have a lot of fun and love, I got a bit teary eyed when I had good nuchal results. I did cry twice when my colleague announced he was leaving and when he left and even though we’d worked together for three years in high stress situations that’s just not like me and felt like a pregnancy fuelled response but beyond that nothing. Even when we told our family and there were tears all round they weren’t really from me. Or when people send us clothes for the baby it’s lovely but I’m not getting emotional.
I know it’s a weird thing to worry about and in general I think I have a realistic mix of joy & excitement for the future and absolute fear that as a first time mum at 39 with a 20 year relationship I’m throwing a grenade into a harmonious and happy life. Well actually with the amount of random symptoms I’ve been able to find multiple threads on on a daily basis maybe this post isn’t that “out there” 😂

thanks in advance

You're fine, don't worry 😂 raging hormones haven't really been my experience in 3 pregnancies! I think during my first ever scan I leaked a few tears at seeing him but honestly I don't have much to cry about, I'm very lucky!

Please don't worry about being happy! Definitely doesn't mean you will be an uncaring mum at all - I'm a great mum if I say so myself and my kids are wonderful and happy and I never cried when I got sent nice gifts or anything.

And - congratulations!! Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

3 babies, and each pregnancies my husband was like what's wrong?! I was totally void of emotion😂 give me a soppy poem about motherhood now I'm a mess. I much preferred feeling a bit more balanced to what I am now. Your body does weird things when pregnant, but when baby is here things will probably change. It's hard hard to imagine a baby when pregnant, I never felt particularly connected to any of mine prior to them being here.

Why do you think it’s unusual to not cry? Of all my friends who have been pregnant only one has become more emotional, from my experience I’d say being overly teary is more unusual.

Why would you be crying?

I thought this was going to be about you trying not to cry while pregnant in case it harmed your baby!

Not only did I not cry when pregnant, I barely gave the pregnancy a thought, as I was working overseas, flying a lot, and trying to finish a big project before going on maternity leave. DS, now 11, is a delight, and has not suffered from my lack of concentration when he was in utero.!

OP, I was also 39 and 20 years into a happy, close relationship when I had DS. There’s no doubt it threw a grenade into our marriage, and I won’t lie, I mourned what was lost for a while, and felt we’d made a grave mistake (newborn stage fairly ghastly, and I hated maternity leave). All I can say is not to panic if it takes a while to love your baby, and to embrace parenthood. You will adjust. Going back to work was a key point for me.

Ah thank you so much all for the reassurance I just feel like I see so many posts about people crying about crazy things like their lunch not being ready or a show lace not tying and I was just wondering if at was something that would hit in third trimester. It’s much nicer to know that isn’t necessary though and I can just be me for the rest of the pregnancy. Not that I think for people who do get upset it’s a choice. It’s not like I get particularly emotional around my period so makes sense.

@Corondel did your marriage get back on track after said grenade? That’s the thing that terrifies me. I know we’ll have to work hard to keep what we have and there will be phases where it’s really difficult.

First pregnancy no hormonal shift at all. Was happy all the time never cried.

This pregnancy I cry and break down super easily multiple times a day. Even over a blooming story a kids nursery rhyme. So strange. Even am advert. Something so boring and unemotional