Constant anxiety about miscarriages

gem1894 · 2024-01-30T17:34:56+00:00

Hello, I am currently 10+2 weeks and so far I've had a very difficult pregnancy, I've got horrible morning sickness, low blood pressure and to top it off I've now got an awful viral chest infection. I had a miscarriage earlier this year and a small bleed at 5 weeks for this pregnancy which turned out just to be a hematoma. I've had 3 scans and 5 and 7 weeks which showed baby was perfectly fine at that point but I can not stop worrying something is wrong. I google everyday statistics of miscarriage and missed miscarriage and worry everything I do is going to cause a problem or how we will cope if we find out something is wrong. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with this kind of anxiety?

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JRTfan · 30/01/2024 17:58

Congratulations! Its completely normal to feel this way, pregnancy after loss or after a long journey is very very tough. I'm nearly 20 weeks after 12 years TTC and a MMC. I have been exactly the same so can't say I've got any coping mechanisms as such but it does get easier. The wait from an early scan to 12 week NHS scan was really tough for me but in reality if you don't have any worrying signs (bleeding or severe pain) then the likelihood is that everything is fine. We had a reassurance scan at 16+5 which massively helped and it does get better when the bump starts to show and you feel little movements. The worry won't completely go away but I keep telling myself that worrying makes no difference to the outcome. Just try and take it one day at a time and one stage to the next..

Original poster

gem1894 · 30/01/2024 19:35

JRTfan · 30/01/2024 17:58

Congratulations! Its completely normal to feel this way, pregnancy after loss or after a long journey is very very tough. I'm nearly 20 weeks after 12 years TTC and a MMC. I have been exactly the same so can't say I've got any coping mechanisms as such but it does get easier. The wait from an early scan to 12 week NHS scan was really tough for me but in reality if you don't have any worrying signs (bleeding or severe pain) then the likelihood is that everything is fine. We had a reassurance scan at 16+5 which massively helped and it does get better when the bump starts to show and you feel little movements. The worry won't completely go away but I keep telling myself that worrying makes no difference to the outcome. Just try and take it one day at a time and one stage to the next..

Thank you! It's so reassuring to hear someone else feels the same as it does feel like I'm going mad a bit! Congrats to you too!!! Xx

OP posts:

Ttcmumma · 30/01/2024 20:42

Hey Hun, sorry for your loss and stress.
I had a mmc at 14 weeks last January, had to break my then 4 year old son's heart as we were convinced all was ok prior. Im pregnant again and was the exact same as you, the anxiety is crippling and you dont trust a thing. After the 20 week scan I relaxed a bit and soon after I began feeling her move everyday, it's so reassuring to feel them. I'm 30 weeks now and even earlier today I was proding and poking her as I was convinced she hadn't moved in a while. She was up wiggling about not long later! I don't think the anxiety ever leaves after a loss but it does get easier over time.

I still worry about labour and whether she will survive it, sids etc... I had none of these worries with my son. A miscarriage really mentally messed you up! But you've got this mama! The likelihood of anything going wrong again is so slim, just remember you were unlucky once, some people never have to suffer a miscarriage. So how likely are you suffer more than one? Not all that likely.

The way I pushed through was to distract myself, also give myself milestones to get past and remind myself everyday that I am pregnant unless someone tells me otherwise, I will enjoy this baby for however long I have them x

Original poster

gem1894 · 30/01/2024 20:44

Ttcmumma · 30/01/2024 20:42

Hey Hun, sorry for your loss and stress.
I had a mmc at 14 weeks last January, had to break my then 4 year old son's heart as we were convinced all was ok prior. Im pregnant again and was the exact same as you, the anxiety is crippling and you dont trust a thing. After the 20 week scan I relaxed a bit and soon after I began feeling her move everyday, it's so reassuring to feel them. I'm 30 weeks now and even earlier today I was proding and poking her as I was convinced she hadn't moved in a while. She was up wiggling about not long later! I don't think the anxiety ever leaves after a loss but it does get easier over time.

I still worry about labour and whether she will survive it, sids etc... I had none of these worries with my son. A miscarriage really mentally messed you up! But you've got this mama! The likelihood of anything going wrong again is so slim, just remember you were unlucky once, some people never have to suffer a miscarriage. So how likely are you suffer more than one? Not all that likely.

The way I pushed through was to distract myself, also give myself milestones to get past and remind myself everyday that I am pregnant unless someone tells me otherwise, I will enjoy this baby for however long I have them x

Thank you so much for the message I'm sorry for your loss! And congratulations for your baby girl on the way!

It's nice to hear others stories and know I'm not alone in these worries and especially to hear people further along that are doing well
X

OP posts:

moosey89 · 30/01/2024 21:24

@gem1894 pregnancy after loss is so stressful! I did have another loss when I got pregnant again and it was horrible and I've struggled....but the world hasn't ended. I don't have a happy ending but I wanted you to know even if something did happen, you'll be ok. I promise xx

Rosesanddaisies1 · 31/01/2024 11:04

I'm with you, I'm 5 weeks after a late miscarriage last year. I do find the miscarriage statistics by week quite reassuring. I had counselling last year, and it really made me realise that there is nothing you can do and it's totally beyond your control. Focus on what is within your control - keep busy and make nice plans, healthy eating and exercise if you feel like it, see friends, talk to others!