Breastfeeding 2?!

[Tulip1112]

Hi everyone

My babe will be 18 months when my second baby comes - I absolutely have tried everything to stop breastfeeding but it's just not working and he gets so SO distraught when I withhold. It's looking like I will be nursing them both, at least for a while.

Any experience? Any advice? Will I be broken?

I managed it 😍 I kept one boob for each baby. My first was 2 years and three days old when I had my second. I tandem fed for 6 months and then the youngest weaned herself, and the eldest carried on till he was four (he had a dairy allergy so I was quite happy to keep going as long as he wanted!)

I fed my 3 year old and newborn for a month.
My 3 year old decided that at 3 she was a big girl and no more feeding.
It was fine feeding both. But I did get aversions to my 3 year old. She felt massive compared to my newborn and the sucking action was too strong.
Also beware the laxative effect on toddler whilst your colostrum comes in!
I found the dry nursing hard through my pregnancy as my milk dried up.
If you're happy and they are happy it's totally doable!

I decided against tandem feeding and fed separately. My 2yo at the time was very demanding and I thought she would want to feed anytime the baby fed and I didn't want to do that. I never refused her, but I kept her feeds to about 5 mins first, then gradually got that down to 2 mins (on each side). She has then gradually weaned over time, reducing feeds to once a day, once every few days and stopped feeding completely by the time baby was 10 months old, and she was nearly 3.

Breastfeeding is truly amazing, did you know your body can actually figure out which child is feeding and will change the milk depending on which child it is! I don't have experience with feeding two, but I thought I'd share that with you

I tandem fed. My eldest was 2.5yo when my youngest was born. I fed them together for a few months, then generally separately as the baby got bigger and the eldest went back to just a feed before bed and first thing in the morning. slowly weaned eldest off by 3.5. it was hard and I struggled with aversion with my eldest towards the end of the 2nd pregnancy and then less after the youngest was born but increased again as the baby got older. But overall I'm glad that's how things ended up, I think it helped my eldest to feel closer to me and the baby, and eased him into being a big brother. I have some lovely photos of tandem feeding them and my eldest has his arm round the youngest.

Was in the exact same situation.

I'll give you the great news first. I had plenty of milk when DD2 arrived 😊 she had already surpassed her birth weight less than 24hr after!!

The ok news: DD1 went from feeding like 2/3 times a day to nearly every single time her sister fed! Oh well. It was ok 😉 your breasts are perfectly capable of it. You should have seen the folds on DD2 😆 chunky baby!

Best of luck! And congratulations ❤️

I'm in a similar position but my first is a bit older (2.5, will be 3 when baby comes). He's just not ready to wean and I'm not experiencing any discomfort etc so will keep going. I often wonder whether my milk will 'come in' again or if it will just never go away?!

Thanks everyone! A huge part of me just thinks- my first babe is in for SUCH a big shock when baby 2 comes. I don't want to take away his biggest comfort and tbh I just don't have the energy to try and ride out the tantrums when I don't feed on demand. The human body is so amazing, just scared. I don't want to resent either of my babies!

It's do-able. I had some boundaries with the older one which I kept up when baby was born, some let the older one nurse as much as they want and find it increases when baby is born but then reduces again. I didn't want to wean too close to birth as didn't want toddler to feel pushed out, but the aversions at the end of pregnancy were really hard. They did reduce but never fully went away. No aversions to feeding newborn thankfully.

Formula usually works.

They find taste strange at first but then they quickly prefer it.

Mine are still going at 2.5 and 4.5. I found the aversions in pregnancy unpleasant but they did go. There’s no wrong answer here. Find something that suits you and do that.

no one asked anything about formula.

🙄🙄🙄 are you suggesting formula for the newborn - op doesn't suggest she wants that so that's an unhelpful comment.

Or for the toddler? Why would that be necessary? Cow/ plant milk would be fine if op was looking for an alternative milk source, but anyone who has breastfed a toddler will know it's not about getting milk into them 🤪

I’m in the same boat. My first will be 18 months when baby comes, currently 7 months pregnant. My first isn’t ready to wean yet. My nipples are blistered and I feel claustrophobic and short-tempered all of a sudden when I feed which is bizarre. It’s very important to me to try to breastfeed them both, ideally until they’re 2 as recommended. I feel like I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself to do so and am worried how I’ll feel if I’m unsuccessful.

Im curious like you, does your milk ‘come in’ again second time round or sort of just keep going? I had huge trouble waiting for my milk to come in before so it would be a relief not to have to go through that again.

my milk definitely came in again, I didnt have much or any for the last half or so of my second pregnancy. But the milk coming in wasn't as much of a big deal as it was first time, like I didn't really get engorged or pain. I just, had milk again. If there was a bit too much, the toddler soon sorted that! it was all very much easier and less stressful.

How far pregnant are you? My DD1 weaned herself around 12weeks preg with DD2, saying the milk tasted yucky. I was glad not to face the dilemma.

I always remembered meeting a mum at a bf group who tandem fed, and she looked haunted. She was tearful because the night before she had refused her elder a feed because he had fed all night and she was done in after 6mo of constant night waking with both of them. In the morning she felt his eczema was worse and she saw this as a stress response to not feeding him that time, all her fault. It freaked me out a bit as I knew I was a bit that type to want to be everything for my kids and few boundaries about what was good for me, I could see myself thinking like that even though I felt she’d lost all perspective.

Hope I don’t come across judging anyone who does/has, what a beautiful thing and wonderful if it works for all. Just think it’s good to have some sort of cost/benefit analysis in the back of your mind that happy mums make happy kids, in the main.

I tandem fed. Eldest was older than yours will be though. We had set 'milk places' so if, say, I was on the sofa I'd tandem feed, but out and about I'd only feed the baby and my older one would have all the snacks (with an attitude of 'ha ha baby, I can have this and you can't!')

I did it for 6 months or so, it can be intense at times but manageable. Was good in terms of having supply quickly and helped when second baby not latching and older child kept up my supply and I could pump a bit as well. I don't think it actually made older child more jealous but I did feel touched out quite a lot. Probably worth trying to instill boundaries now with older child. There are some supportive Facebook groups La Leche League - Tandem nursing.

"I tandem fed. Eldest was older than yours will be though. We had set 'milk places' so if, say, I was on the sofa I'd tandem feed, but out and about I'd only feed the baby"

This is important!