Elective C-section - the right choice?

[CalFairy]

I have an elective c-section booked in a few
weeks for a number of reasons, not limited to but including:

• I have ulcerative colitis and I am concerned about going into a flare post-partum after tearing, the stress of labour on my body etc.
• The vast majority of friends/work colleagues/women I know had a traumatic vaginal birth with some kind of intervention (forceps, days long labours, emergency c-section, theatre post birth due to haemorrhage or placenta issues etc).
• I’m 35, a FTM, have terrible SPD and baby is currently back to back, which I know all increases likelihood of tearing and intervention or it being a difficult labour.
• I’m high risk for preeclampsia, although currently stable.
• I’ve read many positive stories regarding planned sections, and I like the idea of knowing what to expect from birth and recovery.

My issue is that I keep having doubts that I’m making the right choice, for myself and for the baby. Will it all go to plan, will baby suffer any
negative effects due to my decision (allergies etc). But I’m equally scared that I’ll end feeling as though I should have a vaginal birth because it’s the ‘natural way’ and it all goes horribly wrong and I regret it.

I’ve kept the csection mostly to myself, but the few people I have mentioned it to have been opinionated - questioning why I’m not doing it vaginally, I’m missing out on the experience, I must be scared of the pain, it’s what women are meant to do, why would I want surgery (which baffles me how people can be so strongly opinionated on something that’s not their body or baby).

Has anyone been in a similar boat? And did you regret your choice in the end either way?

Sounds like a good choice for you. In a year or so you’ll be surrounded by babies and never even think to ask how they were born. People won’t have an opinion forever. I had 2 sections and the kids are totally fine, no allergies etc.

If men gave birth it would be totally normal for it to have been made a minimal pain, minimum risk of damage procedure. For some reason women think there is something good about pain, stress and suffering when bringing a child into the world. I can't see any good reason for that to be true

It sounds like an entirely sensible decision. Ignore anyone who says otherwise.

Having done both, I can assure you that "missing the experience" of a difficult birth is nothing but a good thing. You want a healthy baby and a healthy you. Given the circumstances you have outlined, a C section is absolutely the sensible decision

You need to do what is right for you. I had two natural births and one c section - I’d choose to have natural any day as i hated been laid up after and the ongoing pain. I also don’t like the scaring I have now as a result

I loved my ELCS. I had some reasons that were quite similar to yours although others as well. I only told immediate family so they knew what the date was and could plan around it if they wanted. Didn't tell anyone else as it was nobody's business. No regrets at all. It was much better for my mental health which therefore meant I was able to have a more relaxed pregnancy and an easier time after birth.

Hi OP! Based on what you've said, I think you're doing the right thing for you and baby!
I had an ELCS and it was the best experience ever. I came across a few strong opinions - it still seems really frowned upon and I found the midwives I discussed it with were very against it and just didn't give balanced views at all, whereas the consultants did.
One of the midwives trying to convince me for a vaginal delivery told me that c-section babies are more likely to have asthma, allergies and be overweight...I've got all those things and was born vaginally! So 🤷🏻‍♀️
All you can do is make a decision based on what you feel is best.
All the very best with whatever you decide! 😊

I think you’re doing the right thing OP, you need to consider your UC and what effect it could have on you afterwards and if a CS would prevent a flare up then it’s very sensible. Having had a traumatic birth myself, next baby will be coming out via CS! Your body, your choice and ignore other people’s opinions

I found it was pain during or pain after I’ve had a cs and a VBAC. I did have an episiotomy with my VBAC as the skin wouldn’t give. If I had another VBAC I would want an episiotomy because it healed really well and I only had a bit of minor tearing at the front.
I had undiagnosed UC and I did have bleeding but not much for the first time after the VBAC but if I’d known I had UC, I could have started on the flare up meds at the first sign of trouble and it wouldn’t have escalated

Thanks all! Lots of kind comments which is most appreciated ❤glad to hear most of you had good experiences.

@Nearlythere80 completely agree! Like suffering makes you more of a woman. It’s a strange way of thinking.

@HollyJollyRobin Isn't it funny how they don’t mention the risks associated with vaginal? My consultant actually said either way there is risk, and I appreciated the honesty. Seems vaginal births are often sugar coated as the best way and women aren’t fully prepared for what could happen.

@mynameiscalypso did you get many people afterward asking for your ‘birth story’? I wouldn’t know what to say! I’ve already had friends saying let us know when you’re in labour and I’m thinking - there’s a chance I won’t be!

@CalFairy Not that I can remember! If I did, I just said 'I had a c section' and wouldn't provide any more details

@FrenchMustard thank you! My UC consultant said he’s happy for me to take either route as I’m currently in remission, but the thought of a post-partum flare (which there’s a
high chance) with tearing down there gives me the shivers! I don’t know if CS will prevent it, but surely it’s less stress on the body to trigger it.

@Autumn1990 sorry to hear you have UC. Did you have it after the C-section? Or weren’t you diagnosed then?

Sensible. Personally I. Your situation I would go for an elective

Do you plan on having more children? I only ask because having an ELCS raises your risk of conditions such as placenta previa/acreta in future pregnancies.

Sounds sensible to me. I think it's normal to have a wobble about it though, especially because it is getting closer.

I haven't actually experienced it yet but I'm expecting twins and have opted for an elective c-section because I really don't want to attempt a vaginal birth with twins and deliver one vaginally and then need a c-section for the other one anyway.

When you say SPD do you mean PGP? Curious as I have PGP and not wanting to labour when I have no mobility. On crutches already in trimester two.

I’ve had 5 normal births and would have thought vaginal delivery generally much less stress on the body than major abdominal surgery. I’d find it quite terrifying to have a caesarean in comparison. Despite needing stitches after the first birth. However it is your body and mind and should be your decision

I had bowel incontinence after my c section and I did have some bladder incontinence as well which they just put down to a big baby, he was 8.12 so not huge. With hindsight I’d had a lot of symptoms but it was just brushed off. The bleeding started about 6 months after my second and carried on for a year before I got a diagnosis

@NorthCliffs possibly one more, but undecided. Definitely no more than that! I’ve had hyperemisis which has put me off haha.

@MamaBearsss yes PGP. Ouch on crutches,
mine isn’t that bad but I’ve had it since 20 weeks and had to mostly be resting. I wondered if it would prevent certain labour positions etc, I wouldn’t be able to lie on my side or move in some ways!

@Stephne2 perhaps, but the stress of a long, traumatic birth can be equally as hard on the body. Particularly when you’re pushing down on the bowel.

Most women don’t have long traumatic births and there is a lot which can and should be done in labour to minimise the risk of a birth ending up being ‘traumatic’ physically and mentally. However there are never any guarantees, even with a caesarean section. Almost every woman I know who has had a normal ‘non traumatic’ vaginal delivery would choose to take the ‘risk’ of another vaginal birth next time as when it goes well you think why on earth would you subject yourself to major surgery. We don’t tend to hear so much about the many normal deliveries or even the assisted births or emergency caesareans where the mother was actually quite positive about the experience and made a good recovery. I don’t think you have any overwhelming medical reasons which would make an elective caesarean the best decision, plenty of women with SPD give birth vaginally with no particular issues and your UC consultant hasn’t ’advised’ a CS. The only reason is that it is what you would prefer, which is a good enough reason in itself

I always find it hard on these threads when CS is presented as the “risk free” option that men would chose. It’s not. It’s major surgery and then you are handed a baby/have no space to rest/recover. As with VB, some people go through CS with minimal pain and complications - others need intervention. More babies do need intervention post CS. I’m absolutely not ‘down talking’ it - CS saved me and my dd. I’m 39 weeks and my next delivery is ELCS.

But I do wish threads would be more balanced. For example - I read threads about CS and SPD, generally for SPD recovery long term, building back a strong “core” is important. Personally CS has complicated this for me (areas of strength and weaknesses) that I continue to need osteo support for (including bladder weakness, against usually a complication solely “feared” connected to birth options but actually the evidence tends to connect it to Experiences in pregnancy).

Yes - CS is more predictable for birth, but long term it’s not an “easy” option for your body/pain.

If you’d prefer it than the u predictability of labour. That’s enough (and valid in itself)!! But…be gentle with yourself. Pregnancy in itself is stressful on the body. For me (and I know it’s personal) but going into CS expecting it to be hard, made it so much easier last time!!

@Callmemummynotmaaa Completely agree. And I would be going into it fully anticipating a longer recovery than perhaps vaginal (if went smoothly) I think the issue is more so around the risks not being presented in a balanced manner. Both methods of birth aren’t easy. But to sugarcoat vaginal as the ‘best’ way is also wrong. As is making a birth is better if its med free and so on and so forth. What is best for mum and baby is what matters most. We’re super humans for carrying and delivering whichever way!

I mean yeah, one of my c sections (elective) was not straightforward and I needed a blood transfusion. Still a FAR easier recovery than my vaginal birth. There’s just no way to foresee everything so you just have to deal with what comes.

3 c secs here (first was emergency, and trying to give birth naturally was a horrific experience so having it all planned took ALL the stress out of it). Kids now 3 under 10.5, all healthy, all thriving, no physical issues for me either. The recovery time was hard for the first week for each but gradually improved after each successive week, and was almost all healed by week 4, but obviously didn't do anything strenuous till week 6. I loved it.