37 weeks - anxiety something will go wrong

[Lilo2]

My pregnancy was classed as high risk due to a raised resistance in my uterine artery and my BMI. I was told that due to the raised resistance that there were risks such as baby not growing and pre-clampsia etc.

As I get closer to being induced next week, I’m terrified that something will go wrong. On my last appointment my consultant told me that there is a risk of stillbirth as I get closer due to the high resistance artery and it’s driving me crazy. I can’t sleep and it’s all I can think about.

So far, babies growth has been good and at 36 weeks was weighing approx 6lbs. I’ve also had great blood pressure and tested for Gestational diabetes twice, which I’ve had negative results for twice - so all good.

But through out this entire pregnancy my babies movements have been completely unpredictable and with no pattern at all and to make matters worse my placenta is anterior and high, so I barley feel any kicks apart from when it’s super low down (must be hands or something?) because of this I’ve been in for reduced movements 8 or 9
times, but after some comments from a consultant and midwife (one who told me there’s quite a bit of me to kick through too) I’ve been trying to rationalise as much as possible - lie in a dark room and have something sweet etc and really try to
feel something - otherwise I would be at the hospital every day!

I don’t know what to do, when I speak to midwife she says not to worry and every-time I go to get monitored they say baby is fine. But I still just feel like I will never have him in my arms and it’s debilitating.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? I guess being told the whole way through I am so high risk has just really effected me and stillbirth is just something that terrifies me as it would any expecting mother.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts.

I don’t have any advice but wanted to say I wish you well and will send positive thoughts your way! And sorry to hear you’ve had such an unpleasant experience! Please keep us updated how you get on x

Thank you @Bozbiza that means a lot x

I wasn't high case in both my pregnancies and they were both pretty much straight forward ones but man, I drove myself around the twist worrying and was obsessed over their movements and couldn't work out a pattern.

I don't have any advice unfortunately but I hope you deliver soon and it all goes ok.

I didn't rest until my babies were in my arms and then starts a load of new worries 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

Can you ask for him to be induced early?

I'm not surprised you're anxious, OP - sounds like they have given you a lot to worry about.

I have no medical knowledge, but if your baby is a good size now, what's stopping them delivering early to avoid the stillbirth risk?

@Daisybuttercup12345 @CantFindTheBeat yes - they said they don’t like to induce before 39 weeks but I managed to convince them to
induce me at 38 +5 so will be next week as I am 37 +5 today. Thank you for your responses and understanding.

@ProtectiveParent thank you good to know not alone with the movement pattern. Appreciate your response x

@Lilo2 I used to tear myself apart wondering if to go to hospital and get checked out regarding the baby's movements. I used to be really envious of people who were chilled out and relaxed in their pregnancies.

@ProtectiveParent its so difficult isn’t it. I keep telling myself if it all works out I’m getting the owlet sock otherwise there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep!!

i felt the same generally in both my pregnancies. I have had 2 cousins who had full term still births and it’s one of my biggest fears…

no 2 has no pattern at all.

So i set an alarm on my
phone 5 x per day and wait for at least 5-10 pokes or prods and then I am good until the next alarm.

carbonated water / drinks help….if he isn’t up for much movement

@Lilo2 it really is. Although when the baby was here, I did keep checking them as every parent does, but I didn't seem as obsessed as I was when they were in my tummy. So much more relaxed when I could see them.

I think this kind of anxiety is definitely normal to an extent. I was high risk and I was worried that it wouldn't go well or that things would go wrong but all was fine. All you can do is take it day by day and try and get through to the induction day best you can. Any issues at all that worry you then I'd go get checked out. They don't care how many times you go there as long as baby is fine

Oh OP I remember this feeling. Weirdly I felt it more with DC2 than DC1 (I was wildly naive about everything to do with the risks during pregnancy and birth!).

It sounds like you may not have been given the reassurance you need from medical professionals. This is particularly hard during pregnancy when there are two lives to think about. Just to reassure you that you are never ever wasting time by going to the hospital to have baby monitored. If you go again I would make clear how much this is affecting your mental health and ask what can be done between now and your induction date to help calm your fears. Dont be fobbed off. If you feel like you need monitoring every day to calm your fears then tell them that. You don’t need to suffer with this for the last week of your pregnancy.

I was induced 10 days early because I had anxiety over something going wrong last minute. I didn't have a high risk pregnancy but had gone in for reduced movement a few times and because a scan showed my baby was a good weight, the consultant agreed to induce me early to eliminate my anxiety. Perhaps you could try and push for earlier? Even a fews days would make things more bearable for you. You have my sympathies though, the anxiety can be crippling.

@MummyJ36 thanks so much for your reply and you’re absolutely right - I’m gonna call the DAU in the morning to see what they can do for me!

@Aria2023 Im gonna call the DAU tomorrow and see what they can do. Hopefully they’ll be reasonable and understand. When I asked before they said that the earliest date they could give me was that date, but I’ll keep pushing and see. Thanks for your response.

I had high uterine pressure (off the little scale on the scan report) with DD1 and i have it again in this pregnancy. DD1 was also not very active and i was constantly stressing about movements. It is very worrying and its completely natural to be anxious but please do make sure you talk to a midwife if you feel its getting a bit unmanageable - if you dont feel like your normal midwife is taking you seriously, there are usually specialist perinatal mental health midwives that you can have a chat with. With DD1, mine was not a normal level of anxiety and i went on to suffer from PNA and PND. I look back and think if i had spoken up sooner, i might have been able to get help quicker and deal with the PNA / PND better.

The difference between my first pregnancy and this pregnancy is like night and day, even though I'm having exactly the same issue. I havent had the same level of anxiety at all.

Did they give you the info leaflet about raised uterine pressure? Although the worst case scenario is very scary, the vast majority of women with this have babies that dont even have a growth restriction - something like 80% i think it said on my one? Im focusing on this and if you only have a week until your induction date, then you are on the final straight! Just keep focusing on those movements and count down the days until you get a big cuddle with your baby.

For DD1 i did not develop PE but i did develop pregnancy related hypertension, i was admitted and DD was born at 38w (2.6kg so a little one!) If you are going to be induced, then that should mean plenty of monitoring to check on you and baby! My DD had continuous monitoring and so as soon as she started to show a bit of difficulty, it was all systems go to get her out safely.

On the owlet sock, just be careful that it means you dont become complacent around safe sleep rules. The lullaby trust is a great resource. Prevention is far better than being woken up by something already happening.

@GreatGateauxsby im so sorry for your cousins that’s absolutely horrific they had to go through that 😔

yes, been counting the kicks much as I can, but not easy when I can’t feel most of them, so makes me so happy when I can.

@CrispAppleStrudels thanks so much for sharing your story, defo makes me feel a bit better to know I’m not alone with it all.
Yes, I got that leaflet and not worried around growth as he is growing well, it’s more the SB impact now. In fact, I probably feel as I am coming to the end and avoided most of the ‘bad’ things that can happen, it’s just this one last risk playing on my mind.

Still, happy I posted here and peoples responses are already helping so much so thank you for replying. Going to try stay positive and focus on breathing / meditation until the big day.

thanks again.

OP, let us know how you go on 🫶🏻

@ProtectiveParent i absolutely will and thanks so much for commenting and your support - so appreciated 💕

It’s only a week left to go OP, just go in every day if you need to, and don’t feel bad for a second about it. Plenty of women who are high risk will have daily monitoring for various reasons, there’s nothing wrong with it at all. What matters is that you and the baby are ok.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@TeaKitten thank you, you’re absolutely right and given me a boost to keep going 💕