Needing some good news

[Catren93]

Hi Ladies,

I really need a rant and some good news stories I think. TW - mentions previous loss as I know it isn’t easy to talk about for everyone.

I lost my pregnancy in July 23 at 11 weeks due to a partial molar pregnancy which scared the hell out of me, I was naive to just how many miscarriages happen, I didn’t even know anything about molar pregnancies. I felt betrayed, I’ve always been incredibly healthy and taken good care of myself, I’m a big believer of health is wealth. So I was angry and felt betrayed by my body this had happened. Realistically I know it wasn’t anything I did but it still hit me really hard.

I’m currently 5w3d pregnancy again and I know it’s early but I feel so angry and anxious. I have no symptoms really just like before and the ones I do have I’m not sure if it’s just because I’m so hyper aware of everything. I want so badly to have symptoms no matter how bad just so I know things are progressing. I want so badly to be happy and to enjoy this but the anxiety is overwhelming (unfortunately life itself is pretty tough at the minute too).
sadly my partner isn’t great with emotion, he does try but I think this is too much for him, he quite often says he can’t deal with the fact I’m not enjoying this and I don’t dare tell anyone else I’m pregnant again as I don’t want to have to tell them about another loss if it were to happen. It kinda leaves me stuck with my own worries which isn’t helping.

I knew pregnancy after loss would be hard, I just didn’t expect it to be this hard. Does anyone have any good news about rainbow babies with no symptoms? I really need some good news.

Sorry for the rant and thank you these forums have been a great help 💚

Hi! I'm currently 9 weeks after having a miscarriage in October and I want to mirror your feelings around it not being easy. We had an early scan on Wednesday and thankfully everything looked good with the baby measuring the right size with a strong heartbeat. I was hoping that after this scan I would feel an influx of joy/excitement but I'm still waiting for it to arise. I feel in such a limbo.... We've decided to not tell anyone until 12 weeks and I think this has something to do with it. I feel like life is on pause because we can't be 'real' with people and feel like we're hiding something (though this does not change my decision to not want to tell people). It's exhausting! (And add on pregnancy just being exhausting anyway!).

I didn't have many symptoms before 6 weeks, then i felt slight nausea in the morning and slightly sore breasts until 7.5 weeks and then they all faded. I was very worried and was absolutely convinced that the scan would be bad news to the point that I was dreading it - the nurse probably thought we looked miserable when we entered the clinic 😂. But once the good news was confirmed, I shared my concerns about symptoms with her and she said that it's very normal for symptoms to be minimal/nonexistent and for them to disappear like mine did around 8 weeks.

I hope that's useful, it's a tough time and I think it's made even more difficult because it's expected to be a "happy/exciting" time. Sending lots of warmth your way 🧡

completely felt what your feeling now with my pregnancy.
I have had several losses, I am currently 19+4weeks, apart from a bump I have hardly no symptoms (some sore boobs and constipated) and I desperately wanted to have sickness or tiredness like I have previously. Youre still very early so plenty of time for symptoms to come. But I’ve defiantly learnt symptoms or lack off doesn’t state the viability of the pregnancy.

I had scans at 6 and 8 weeks due to small bleeds and all was well with 12 weeks scan.
each scan helped reduced my anxiety but even now I still have anxious thoughts.
I try take every day as it comes, grateful that we made it through the day and in terms of being excited I keep telling myself I deserve to enjoy it just as much as people who aren’t aware of losses and can’t control what will happen so might aswell enjoy! Sending lots of hope for this pregnancy. Get yourself a early scan booked it if you can
xxx

My first pregnancy was ectopic (no symptoms until sudden pain which landed me in a and e)

I feel pregnant again 5 months later, now 38w. I had no 'normal' symptoms in the first trimester - just plenty of bleeding which usually wouldn't be a hopeful sign but here we are, I had my last day of work today and now can't wait to welcome my baby boy to the world.

The first trimester was SO challenging due to the previous loss. Even after an early scan showed this pregnancy wasn't ectopic I was so scared of something going wrong it broke me a bit mentally, and honestly DH struggled to cope with my anxiety. I eventually got help from a therapist who specializes in pregnancy which helped massively.

Ladies I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner I had to take a moment to process it all. Hearing your stories has been overwhelming, and I’m sorry you understand the troubles. But I’d like to say thank you; knowing I’m not alone in this and that people are getting there happy endings has been so helpful and given me some hope.
Thank you to all of you so much 💚. Early pregnancy unit are looking at doing a scan somewhere between 6 and 7 weeks so fingers crossed.

Take each week as they come and don't look too far ahead. That is how I coped. I lost two babies at the 9 week mark and the following pregnancy was tough but go easier as time went by.

I found the first 12 weeks were so slow and felt so low when I did get to 9 weeks again as was convinced it would happen again.

When my baby made his arrival at 40 weeks. Both my partner and I cried, pure relief of him arriving safe.

He is now a bouncing 3 year old.

@Catren93 Pregnancy after loss is really hard. Everything you're feeling is very normal 💕 I unfortunately had three losses last year; a MMC in April (scan at 11+4 showed baby had stopped developing at 7+5), a CP in Sept and a MC at 7wks end of October. It was a horrendous year tbh. We planned on having a break after the last loss whilst we awaited a referral to fertility clinic. I wanted to be able to relax over Christmas and try to focus on a more positive future. So we weren't tracking, I had some drinks etc... Aaaand bam. Got pregnant again. Tbh I was bloody terrified at first and frustrated that I was probably going to have a ruined Christmas. Early nerves weren't helped by the fact that I've had really minimal symptoms throughout. However, 3 scans later and so far, so good. Fatigue finally hit last week (week 11!!). I've had no nausea or sickness at all. My main symptoms have been sore boobs and gassiness. Now keeping everything crossed for a healthy 12wk scan next week.... I'm still nervous but slowly building up to feeling a bit more optimistic too.

Side note, lots of people who do get symptoms don't have them hit until week 6 or 7 so you may well be eating your words in another week or so! But if not, still every chance it's a healthy pregnancy. 💕

I just want to point out that aa far as I understand, a molar pregnancy, like most miscarriages is to do with a fundamental chromosome issue in the fertilised egg-a crappy accident....too many sperm fertilised the egg, problems in replication, just an unfortunate set of events, a tiny error in an insanely complicated process.

Try not to blame yourself or your body, sometimes you just get some shitty bad luck.

I don't think many people understand just how anxiety inducing pregnancy after loss can be. We were TTC for 12 years and in April last year finally got that BFP, only to be devastated at the 7 week viability scan with a big empty sack I finally miscarried at around 9 weeks.
The good news is that I'm now 19 weeks pregnant and everything so far has been perfect..it does get easier as the statistics get better but I won't lie and say I'm totally relaxed now. In fact I started a thread on how anxious I am over the 20 week scan next week. But I think once viability is reached and movement is felt then the worry will decrease. A private scan at 8 and 16 weeks really helped us to get to the next stage. Keep going you've got this!

@Catren93 congratulations on your pregnancy, and I completely understand your anxiety. I had a miscarriage in March 23, at 9 weeks.
I was lucky to fall pregnant again quickly and I'm now 36 weeks pregnant.
My anxiety reduced a bit after the 12w scan but it wasn't until the 20w scan that I really felt able to be optimistic and look ahead with excitement. Now I'm so ready to meet this baby.

There's probably nothing I can say to help you be less anxious at this stage, my only advice would be to confide in someone if you can. Is there even one friend or family member who could support you? I know you don't want to tell people about another loss but if things do go badly again surely you'd need some support then too. My dh was great throughout our journey but I couldn't have got through it without my sister and close friend.