Possible second mmc. No one will aknowledge my (negative ?) feelings.

[Oblomov]

I have ds(4), mmc in Nov. No bleeding, bad cramps, scanned,told 6 weeks, which I knew wasn't right, had to wait 2 weeks, with my diabetes going mad, then second scan at 8 weeks to confirm mmc, then ERPC.
Last week found out I was pregnant, on fri. Felt pregnant, nauseous, sore boobs. Sat nothing, very bad cramps, boobs gone soft.Bad cramps have gone on for nearly a week now, on ean doff, but always some discomfort there.
GP dismissive of cramps. Kept saying no bleeding, but I said no bleeding last time. She did say loss of symptons was bad. Some have none at all, but if you have them and lose them, is a concern.
Went to A&E last night for cramps. Totally dismissive. There 5.5 hours , left with no assurance, no explnation. Told I could go to my EPU unit( only open from 9am - 1pm), for a scan, if I wanted. I already have a scan booked at 7 weeks. Could have a scan now, but at 5 1/2 weeks, it will not give me any real answers and then will only give me an assurance once I go back for 7 weeks scan. So I think no point in actually have it done.
Nurses and doctors keep saying be positive. But I know how I feel, and I just want someone to aknowledge how I feel. It is realistic. No one has given any reason for my very bad cramps, they have no idea what cramps are.

I hate this postive attitude shit. It is unrealistic. I want realism.
AIBU ?

Whatver you are feeling right now Ob is not unreasonable - it is completely understandable and normal. I found HCP attitude during these situations is absolutely crap and made a shite experience infinitely worse.
I prob would go to EPU to be honest, mainly because it was the only place I got taken seriously.

Hope you are OK. Best wishes.

EPU are shit. I have dealt with them for my last mmc and on the phone this time. They are crap.
I need cast iron assurances that evrything is going to be o.k. NO ONE can give that to me. In the early stages the waiting kills you. But you have no choice. I just want someone to aknowledge that.

Hey Oblomov

I have been there and I can empathise completely with how you are feeeling - it is soooooooooooooooo difficult not to panic and feel negative. I too have had 2 mmcs and am now at 12 weeks with number 3 so don't give up hope. The early weeks of this pregnancy were hell - I was obsessed by every feeling I had and every symptom I had that then disappeared (very similar to you). I too had REALLY bad cramps about weeks 5-9 on and off but sometimes constant for days - this was a real mind screw as I was convinced I was mcing. I had really sore boobs which suddenly stoped being sore and sent me into a mad panic until they started up again about 2 weeks later - I had no real nausea until week 8 then it came with a vengeance!!

I think the problem is that everyone has to try and keep you postive as if they too were negative then you would really start to panic. My advice would be to just go with the flow - one day at a time until you can get an early scan. I had one at 7 weeks which I was convinced would show a mmc until we saw a strong little heartbeat :O I have another scan later on today and I'm still not convinced all is well despite a good scan last week which showed all was well - heartbeat and movement.

Unless you ave been there (mmc) it is difficult to explain to everyone why you feel so negative about everything in a new pregnancy - I personally think for me it was a self-defence mechanism to help me cope if everything went pear-shaped again!!! I won't say what everyone said to me "just try and relax" as you can't relax when you are having all these feeelings, thoughts and time is dragging - not to mention the 'hormones'. But try and stay positive until you know any different - once I eventually got into this mindset things got a little easier to deal with day-to-day. Apparently early cramping (so long as not chronic) is a sign that things are happening - it was for me anyway - Good luck and take care honey x

Thank you babycakes. You have made me feel alot better.

Hello, My sister had MMC, first time she was pregnant, she is now 22 weeks and all is fine.

She too felt like you do, and was very negative, but there's no reason it will happen again.

Unfortunately, all you can do is wait... which is horrible.

But just say to yourself - "what will be will be" that always helps me when I am worried about preg related stuff. You can't do anything about it, you just have to go with the flow and wait for that scan.

Good luck xxx

I haven't had any experience of an mc, but I had lots of painful cramping for at least three weeks, my boobs were increadibly tender and then overnight it went, never to reappear. I felt seriously negative at that point, but I'm 16 weeks today and a scan and doplar says there's a baby in there, so with luck your cramps are just the same as mine.

Its the waiting, not knowing that kills you.
Thank you for your replies.

The limbo period whilst waiting is grim. Sorry that you have had such unhelpful experiences with EPU and hospital. Symptoms were very on and off during early PG with DS - it was only once I was a bit later on that they became more constant.

As an aside - the blood tests can be misleading for a variety of reasons - scans give a far more accurate picture.

oblo..YANBU however it also does not mean all doom and gloom. I had a mmc not found until I was 15wks. Had d+c then got pg 3mths later..I was 100% convinced I had a mmc again so was scanned at 8wks but then told I couldnt have another until 20wks. My stress levels were through the roof and I 'knew' I had mmc again..well that little bean is now 2.3yrs old and a handful..I also went on to have another dd after her.
As you know at 5.5wks nothing would really show on a scan apart from a sack. Cramps do not always have to be a negative they can be stretching .