Pregnant over 40

[PumpingRSI]

I know I'm probably in a smaller minority, but anyone else pregnant and over 40? I've just found out and am a little surprised and overwhelmed but also happy and excited.

I am daunted by the idea of starting again - I already have two who are 7 and 10 and not sure how they will take the news.

Or how I will fit a baby into our already busy lives .

Is older mother care any different in terms of test, medications, scans etc?

Congratulations!

We had our youngest at 40. Bigger age gaps than yours - baby is now 15month and older 3 are 12/17/19yrs.

We had extra scans and blood thinners but this was more about past DVT and some other risk factors - last baby over 10yrs, previous eclampsia. Other than that nothing different to other pregnancies and everything was textbook. Out of the 4 he was the easiest pregnancy although being referred to as a geriatric mother was a bit much 🤣

Congratulations I'm 43 and pregnant and like you starting again mine are both 17 and 15 so it's been a long time , I've forgotten what to do 😬

Congratulations! I am 40 and pregnant with my 1st after 12 years of IVF. I've had an extra appointment at the hospital that was just a chat about my general health and will have growth scans at 32 and 36 weeks. My trust also like to induce older mothers at 40 weeks but don't know if that's a countrywide thing. Also on aspirin daily but that's it. I've felt a bit old in the waiting room sometimes but no one really seems bothered to be honest I think it's pretty common now for women to have babies in to their 40s.

Congratulations OP! I found out I'm having our first 3 weeks before my 40th. Something of a surprise as we'd long since assumed it wouldn't happen for us.

Things that I believe are only because I'm older; 150mg of aspirin a day, a consultant appointment (took 3 minutes and he referred me back to the community midwives), and an extra scan. The norm here is 12 and 20 weeks but I get one at 32 weeks too.

I'm 42 and FTM.

I imagine you will notice some aspects of care have changed since your first two!

In my trust:
Extra US scan at 36w
Default joint consultant and midwife care rather than just MW. Obstetrician appointments at 14w, 20 and 36 (after the scheduled US)
Aspirin from successful dating scan until 36w
Induction conversations: obstetrician doesn't want to "let" you go past 40w so induction between 39 and 40w/c section booked at 40w unless you are specific about not wanting to do that.

Thanks, this feels reassuring.

I don't even feel like I can ring mid wives to organise a booking in appointment as I'm aware of the rate of miscarriage and things going wrong. It feels like it's tempting fate somehow.

If it helps, I had a booking appointment with 1st pregnancy that miscarried, no booking appointment before the 2nd miscarriage, and was incredibly early sel-referring fir this 3rd pregnancy that is now 39weeks.

Also, i put off doing all sorts of things in this pregnancy because of my MC experience. All that's done is resulted in a load of admin I'm doing at the last minute rather than enjoying a few days relaxing and pottering with final bits in the week between finishing work and before the baby arrives. Don't do what I did. Don't borrow worry.

By all means you don't have to do an "announcement", a gender reveal or be painting the nursery at 14 weeks. I still think half of that is bollocks. But don't forget to enjoy the pregnancy and don't think you're making it less likely to be healthy if you buy a babygro before 32 weeks.

Ps you will have to ignore every "how old is too old to have a baby" thread on MN

1000 TIMES THIS ⬆️

Ps you will have to ignore every "how old is too old to have a baby" thread on MN

Omg yes! I've read one of those and was shocked at some of the replies. I'm in the same situation as many women in that being an 'older' mum wasn't a choice, it simply took that long we started trying when I was 28!
I was worried but 18 weeks now and I haven't come across any negativity at all in real life, healthcare professionals really aren't bothered.. it's just that over a certain age they are required to tick a few more boxes..which in my eyes is a good thing as nothing wrong with a bit of extra monitoring and care..

Congratulations!
I'm 41 and after 11 years of infertility, I'm pregnant with 2nd. Big shock even though we weren't preventing, after so long it was extremely unexpected. Huge age age but my first is very excited. I'm happy but scared that we're starting again from scratch.
I'm 14 weeks and have had screening checks with NT scan. Those numbers are obviously a lot higher (1 in 470 instead of 1in 50,000) than when I had my first at 30 but good for my age.
I'm nervous to tell people and of the gaps between scans.
I am shared care split between consultant and midwife. I have also been taking aspirin daily since my booking appointment.

Congratulations!

I am 41 next month and just stopped bleeding - medically managed miscarriage at around 7 - 8 weeks. Blighted ovum. So I get your reluctance to book anything yet.

My was unplanned but I got so excited and now its over. I would want to actually try now but my husband is not interested. His first words after finding out this pregnancy is not going to carry on was to ask how are we going to protect ourselves. It made me question our whole relationship, he wants to enjoy our life but I realized the reason I now wanted one more was that I don't really enjoy time with him. He is not fun and grumpy all the time. Can't even look at him anymore, nevermind having sex with him. Gosh sorry, a bit of a rant here but I think I needed to unload somewhere.

In my forties and currently sat here cuddling my 2 month old baby.

I found the pregnancy slightly harder than with my older children but not to the point where I regretted it or anything. I haven't found the newborn phase any harder but I've always got by on not much sleep.

Not one single person ever mentioned my age at all and when I brought it up with the midwife she said she get more women over 40 than under 20 these days.

In terms of care, I'm a lot fatter now than I was with my older kids so I'm not sure which differences were because of my age and which are my weight, but the main ones were doing the gestational diabetes test and being told to take aspirin and vit d every day.

You mentioned older kids too. The biggest joy of this pregnancy has been seeing how much my older kids love the new baby. I didn't see it coming and I thought I'd really have to manage jealousy etc but actually they're besotted with the little one and it's been amazing to see.

Anyway it's been really special for me to revisit the baby days but with the confidence of someone who's been parenting a while. I wish you luck on your journey too.

Congrats OP! I had my second at 41. As pp have said, there will likely be a few extra scans and they may well not want you to go over 40 weeks.

Not sure if relevant to you, but might help someone on the thread:
If you've had a previous c-section and are aiming for VBAC, then you need to have a discussion about induction options and at what point you may want a section instead.

Having had a previous section means some induction options are ruled out (too effective, risk of scar rupture) so you only have the 'second choice' induction routes open.
There is also a lower threshold for deciding an induction is not progressing and switching to an EMCS.

Coupled with the age factor meaning you only have up to 40 weeks, the overlapping factors mean it's important to weigh up birth options.

All the best!

Congrats OP!

I will be 41 in May and am about 5+1 with my 2nd.

It took over 6 years to conceive my first with 4 failed rounds of IVF (inc one CP). Ended up conceiving naturally and I had her when I was 38.
Then I had a MC at about 7 weeks (again, natural conception) in summer 2022.

I can't actually believe I am pregnant again but I'm so anxious about another MC however, I am trying to remain positive and with each day that passes I am telling myself the risk of MC is lower than yesterday.

Doesn't help that my symptoms are mild (I keep prodding my boobs to see if they are still tender 😂) but I barely had any symptoms with my first either.

Think I'll be booking a private scan at 8 weeks to see if there is a heartbeat - I'd rather know earlier if something is wrong.

Tentative due date is 25/9 which is exactly the same as my first due date, only 3 years later, so I am taking that as a sign ✨

Pregnant in 40s is so much more common now - we've got this!

Thank you! I'm doing the same boob prodding thing. I was so sick with my pervious two the lack of nausea is really stressing me out. I want it but I don't!

I phoned midwife team today to sort booking in appointment, so that's the first official thing really isn't it!

OH is totally in denial until it's further along as I had CP in the summer.

I need to do that! I haven't done it yet because I think I don't want to accept it's actually happening in case something goes wrong of you know what I mean?

I can't focus on anything else at the moment..had the most unproductive week at work 🙈
God help me if they search my google history 😂

Did you do your test today?

👋 42 here and 5+4 with my 4th. Heaven help me 😂 Totally unplanned and unexpected but happy surprise. My others are 8, 6 and 2. Also terrified about losing it. I have a reassurance scan booked next week

Congratulations!!
What a lovely surprise for you ❤️
4 little ones will certainly keep you busy but will also keep you young!

They'll keep me knackered 😂

I swear I never worried as much the last times. I just had the standard 12 week scan and got on with it. This time I've got it in my head because I'm now 'geriatric' things are going to go wrong. Also don't really have any symptoms which isn't helping. It's going to be a long journey!