Feeling bad about my weight gain during pregnancy. Anyone have any tips on how to manage these feelings ?

[blueyavocado]

I'm 34 weeks pregnant usually 52kg and have put on 13kg since falling pregnant. My weight has jumped up 1.5kg over the past week despite walking 10k plus steps a day and eating relatively healthy.

MIL made a comment earlier about being careful and making sure I am active . She also said to be careful of the weight on my hips and thighs and that it will take work after birth to get back to 'normal'. She said she got into her pre-pregnancy jeans 3 weeks after birth.

Anyone have any experience on how to manage my feelings around weight gain etc ? I feel tremendous pressure to get back into shape ASAP after the birth. I think I struggle more so because I had anorexia for 10+ years and have only recorded fully over the last 2-3 years

I've attached a picture of my current bump at 34 weeks , I'm just dreading how much bigger I am going to get before the due date

Well my first but if advice is not to listen to your MIL and give yourself some grace. 8-10kgs of that will be baby, placenta, blood, boobs, fluid, uterus. The rest you need for breastfeeding and being healthy.

32-35 week I was so hungry and that’s when baby has a growth spurt. Now at 39 weeks I have a tiny acidic stomac and miss the days of enjoying food and not just trying to be full enough but not so full it comes back up on me.

pregnancy and birth and marathons. Pace yourself and listen to your body, not a busybody MIL!

Honestly? Your photo looks like a normal pregnant lady who is usually slim to me - you look all bump. Still though, imagine how you'd feel if you weren't gaining - that would be scary!

What a beautiful bump - looks absolutely perfect to me and so does the rest of you.

I know it’s easier said than done but you need to try and force yourself to recognise that your MIL’s behaviour is absolutely nuts and that weight gain during pregnancy is normal and healthy.

I cannot imagine what is going through her head when she says these things but she’s just plain wrong and either very insecure herself or extremely shallow.

There is no pressure - your body will recover over the months after you give birth. Be kind and give yourself plenty of time.

Just lose the weight of her opinion.

You have the rest of your life to lose any weight you may have gained during pregnancy. That's IF you want to. Enjoy the peace and quiet of the next few weeks and tell the interfering old bag to keep her beak out.

Please ignore your MIL, those comments are uncalled for and unhelpful!

I'm pregnant with my 3rd and have gained quite abit, but I don't care too much at the min tbh, I'll focus on losing it once baby is here.

OP those were horrible comments from your MIL. As pp have said, you look slim and all bump. Please try not to let this ruin your pregnancy. I gained huge amounts with both my children- like you I had a history of restrictive dieting (not as bad as anorexia in my case) and I think this maybe has an effect in causing more weight gain in pregnancy. But I lost most of it with no problem and wish I hadn't wasted any precious days of pregnancy stressing about it.

I'd focus on losing the MIL - not the weight!! Not realistic I know, but seriously her views and comments are coming from a very unhealthy place - but they can feel so hurtful even when you know they're unreasonable!

Your body is doing an amazing job growing a human being, weight gain is part of that, and 'normal' weight gain is so varied from woman to woman, as is where we hold extra weight. I completely empathise though as I felt exactly the same with my first. Looking back now I can celebrate what my body achieved, and am focussed now after my second on regaining strength instead of losing weight.

I suppose my advice is try and reframe the thoughts! And if needed, maybe you or your partner can have a word with MIL about how to keep her opinions on your body to herself, a good precursor to ensuring she doesn't start commenting on your childrens bodies in the future!

I put on 11 kg compared with before the birth and the day after when I stood on the scales all but 200 g of it was gone. Baby was only 2.5 kg. There is so much fluid and other stuff in there. Not even worth thinking about the weight now.

I was 52kg and am now 64kg at 35 weeks. It is such a challenge to see your body change and her comments are so unhelpful. As women we are socialised to believe that our size/ appearance is our worth and so it’s a bizarre way of showing off or competing with you. Your bump is beautiful, you are doing a wonderful job of growing your baby and the clothes you wear postnatally have no bearing on your worth.

My mum used to tell me all the time that she walked out of the hospital in her size 8 jeans and I felt such pressure in my first pregnancies to be immediately ‘normal’ after birth, I didn’t want it to get to me but it still did. I’m now 10 years older, on my third baby and no contact with my mum. My goodness it is liberating to not have those comments, I hope you get on okay in these last few weeks and with all of the changes to your body. Your body is normal, beautiful and doing something amazing.

You look absolutely gorgeous in your photo.

I say this with love, tell your MIL in addition to zipping into her jeans 3 weeks after birth, she can bloody zip her gob up too.

There is no rule as to when you have to "get back to normal".

After experiencing maternity leggings, I vow never to wear Jeans again, even I'm "back to normal" 😂

First advice is to not engage with MIL or anyone about your weight. It’s not an open discussion, and no one should be passing comment. My MIL tried this, she said it’s foul when pregnant women don’t bounce back to their pre pregnancy weight within a couple of days (!!) like she did. I just felt sorry for her that at a time when she was supposed to be enjoying her baby, and recovering she was under pressure by her own mum/mil/dh/herself to just fit back in her jeans. Alternatively presume it’s bullshit and she’s just trying to rewrite history to feel a bit better about herself and compete with you.

Secondly your weight is the least remarkable thing about you or your body. It’s so unbelievably boring. Think of all the amazing things you can do and your body is doing and will do. Is losing or gaining a few pounds the most fascinating thing that should determine any of your value?

you’re staying active, presumably you’re eating nutritious food and you’re growing a baby. Just give yourself a break. It’s definitely hard to see your body change, but when you look back in 5 or 10 years will you think gosh i really enjoyed those new born cuddles, Or will you think gosh I wish I’d been more manically walking and dieting in that time to get back in them jeans quicker.

I put on so much weight when I was pregnant, way more than you and I was very thin beforehand.

I remember I was worried too, and was reading all these stories at the time and remember distinctly reading on a thread, a woman saying SHE LEFT THE MATERNITY HOSPITAL IN HER PRE PREGNANCY JEANS.

well I thought that was so amazing.

Then I saw her on another thread called ‘Anyone with 5 stone or more to lose’

well no wonder she could fit in the jeans! They were big to begin with.

you are unique, so is your baby. Your body is putting on scaffolding to hold up the baby. That’s it’s job right now and it won’t always be like this. Please don’t listen to other peoples stories because almost everyone polishes up the truth. You are doing great and are growing a baby.

when the baby comes out, you will know where you are and can deal with it then. Enjoy these last few weeks x

Does you MIL know you had anorexia? Does she seriously not understand what that means??

I was your weight when I was pregnant and I gained a total of 15kg but I dropped 10kg almost immediately after giving birth - I think I weight myself about 2 weeks after giving birth and I was 57kg and then I lost the next 5kg in about 10-12weeks. To be honest I wasn't actively trying to get back to 52kg, it sort of just happened because I hadn't changed my lifestyle too much whilst pregnant so once the baby was out, my body went back to normal pretty quickly. Dont stress about your weight, you'll be back to yourself in no time!!

Gosh your Mil sounds like she has an unhealthy attitude to her body, what toxic comments

I put on 4 stone, I'm 6ft tall but still

Lost all of it without duets or anything

I just put on a lot of weight, and once the baby was born it went to milk and I walked endlessly to get the baby to nap in the pram 😁 but other than that I ik just went back to how I was

In my 50s now and still the weight I was before having my babies, it just happens. Relax