Medical termination - TW

[Janbluess]

Hi all.

I have put a trigger warning on this thread, I understand the discussion around termination isn’t for everyone but please keep any negative comments to yourself, this is my body and my choice.

I am in need of some positive stories regarding medical termination. I have found out I am pregnant this morning after missing my period. I am only six months post partum and I also have a four year old.

I love my children and I am so content with my family. I am due to return to work next month and we are hoping to buy a new house in the summer.
I am not able to continue this pregnancy for so many reasons (career ambition, finances, physical issues with previous pregnancies, emotions, burnout). We just can’t have a third baby. I have also had two c sections and do not want to go through that again.

I am so incredibly anxious at the thought of medical abortion. So many people in the past have told me of their awful experiences and I can’t cope with the stress it’s causing me. I am feeling emotionally fragile and I just want this over with. I am going to phone our local clinic tomorrow but a hand hold and some affirming words would really help right now.

I am not telling people in my life except my partner and a very close friend but she has never gone through this herself.

I am so angry to be in this position. We tried to be careful and DP is on the waiting list for a vasectomy.

Thank you for reading.

I totally understand why you would want a termination.

I only have one child and if I found out I was pregnant I was op for a termination too, mainly to protect my own mental health so no judgement here.

I had friends who had terminations when we were younger and I think the earlier you have one, the less invasive it is. As far as I can remember it was a case of taking some tablets a certain amount of time apart in a controlled environment.

Do what is right for you. Good luck OP

Hello, sorry you're in this position 💐

I've had two abortions - one medical at 6 weeks (the pill, one at the clinic and one at home) and another surgical abortion at around 8 weeks under light sedation.

Both were fine but quite different processes. Did you have any specific questions? Happy to share my experiences if it helps.

Thank you for your replies. My main anxiety surrounds heavy blood loss and complications such as retained product etc.

I am triggered by blood loss because I had a very large haemorrhage in theatre with my first child and I really struggle at the thought of heavy bleeding now as a result. Some knowledge of your experience of the duration and intensity of the blood loss would help me a lot.

I really appreciate you responding.

Specifically with the medical abortion, I had a first appt at a clinic where they scan you (you don't see the scan). Then I took the first pills and was given the second take at home 24 hours later. I soon started getting what I would describe as quite bad period cramps for about 6 hours and the tissue all passed quickly. I didn't see anything. After that time, I managed to get off to sleep, and the worst was over. Then it was just like a period.

Recommend going to the pharmacist to get some cocodamol in case you need it, and planning a night in front of some distracting films xx

It's quick, simple and not unlike a smear in my experience. Not something you choose for fun but many of us have been in your position! You are not alone

It was no different to a period and no issues at all afterwards

The blood loss was just like a heavy-ish period, nothing like post partum bleeding or haemorrhaging - just get some big pads. I had no issues with retained tissue either

I technically had a medical abortion at 14 weeks not out of choice but because I had a mmc and I didn't miscarry naturally. Even that far along, it was a lot of blood but not a dangerous amount. I was fine to miscarry at home and I had no retained products. I think if anything it's more mentally painful to go through but as it's your choice and you're not as far along it will probably be abit more like a period. I saw a lot more being further a long.

So sorry you're going through this and no judgement, hope it all goes ok x

There’s loads in the topic about it-
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy_choices

I had 2 as the pill failed, my last one being 2 years ago I just wasn't in a position for another child.
The first one I took the first pill and carried on with my day. Took the next one the next day and just got some cramping, also backache. Bleeding started as a normal period, was mainly just when I went to the toilet. Took the codeine they prescribed and lit a candle in the bathroom so I felt more relaxed every time I needed to go. Tried to relax and watch Netflix. It was pretty much all over within 4 hours, I knew when id passed it as my symptoms literally disappeared and after weeks of feeling Soo sick I sent my DH to the shop for snacks! After a few days I needed antibiotics as they were worried about retained product but after the antibiotics I was fine.

The 2nd one was a bit more painful but not much different. Id eaten just before I took the 2nd pill and did throw up, I had a really sharp pain in my ovary too like contractions and I felt sick but kept taking codeine. Again it was over within a few hours, the blood loss is mainly when you go to the toilet so you don't see it unless you look which I didn't.

I was so worried and spent hours traveling MN for positive experiences and didn't get many, but I don't think it was as bad as I expected. Just take pain relief and try relax.

I had one at 18 and it was nowhere near as painful as I expected, I didn’t require anything more than ibuprofen and codeine. There was quite a lot of blood, this was at 8 weeks. If this is the thing you’re most worried about maybe have someone with you that can support you? I had no issues after and have since had a baby. Overall the experience wasn’t as bad as I expected and I’ve never regretted it. Sending hugs xx

Not to scare OP but one of my miscarriages was not quite like that. I am sure it ended about 7/8 weeks and it was heavy.

I'm sorry you're going through this, but you will be okay!
I had my MA 4 days ago now. I suffer with very painful and very heavy periods every month so i was so scared it would be worse than that. I built myself up into such a frenzy the week leading up to it, I was a mess. Just petrified of the pain mostly. But I can honestly say the build up was the worst part.
The cramps are uncomfortable. I would ask for codeine when you have your appointment just so it's there and also for peace of mind. I took it and it helped me to relax!
As another person has said most of the blood and clots pass when you're on the toilet so there's no need to look :)
Every medical procedure, including every medication we are prescribed have risks of adverse reactions. But they are very uncommon. So try not to worry about something that is very unlikely to happen. I can totally sympathise as this was me last week but really the mental anguish before was SO much worse. Even when i was having the cramps I was just so happy it was finally all happening and that it would be over soon. You'll be okay. It sounds like you have been through much worse.
A nurse mentioned that people that have given birth tend to have less pain because the uterus is used to the contractions. Which didn't help me at the time as I haven't had kids! but may help ease your worries a touch.

If you're anxious about blood loss would you consider a surgical termination? I had one because I really didn't want to experience the aftermath of a medical one and it was as un-traumatic as these things can be - I did have general anaesthetic, and appreciate maybe that's not an option for various reasons, but it might be worth thinking about.

I've had 2, both felt as painful as a really heavy period so it was fine.
Just took a few days off.
The second one I randomly had a massive bleed a few weeks later but stopped quickly

Thanks for your replies. They are really helping. I have spoken with my local sexual health clinic in the hospital who have said they can’t see me for a consultation until 19th February. I was nearly sick when she said that. It’s such a long time to wait.

Do you need a GP referral for other services such as MSI?

I don't have any knowledge of this myself, but just to say there's a board on Mumsnet called Pregnancy Choices where you'll find lots of ladies who can offer advice and experience.

No you don't need a GP referral, you can refer yourself for a consultation on their websites now (if they offer services in your catchment area).

I had surgical termination at later stage for medical reason, and just sending you lots of good luck and thoughts. Take care xx

Ah sweetie, I'm sorry you are going through this. Is a surgical termination an option? Medical terminations ARE awful & they linger & retained pregnancy is relatively common (I used to be the boss of MSI). Having said that, for some, they are brilliant. No complications or issues. The thing is, you can never predict if it will be smooth sailing or not, every woman is different. All the best though, whichever option you choose.

I’ve just been through the same thing. Unplanned third pregnancy due to a contraception failure.
I knew straight away that I couldn’t go ahead. I took the pills last week and although it wasn’t the most comfortable thing it was so much better than I thought. I was 6.5 weeks along.
I filled in an online form with MSI, had 2 phone consultations and received the medications around 7-8 days after filling in the initial form.
I obviously can’t say for certain that everything has worked but my bleeding is fairly light now and I’m just waiting until 3 weeks to take a final pregnancy test to find out all is well.
Honestly, I can’t tell you how much better it was than I thought it would be. Good luck xxx