39 weeks pregnant and toddler pushing me to breaking point

[Chickenl8ter]

Not sure if this is the right place for this but wondering if anyone can at least relate. I’m 39 weeks with baby no 2 today. First child is 3.

He is at nursery part of the week, and I usually have him two days in the week. Now I’m on mat leave as of 38 weeks I thought this set up would become slightly more manageable in the last stages of pregnancy. In fact I’m finding it impossible.

A combination of me feeling guilty for sticking the telly on, him knowing something’s up and wanting to climb all over me/behaviour going wild… every meal time seems to be a battle atm as does bed time.

Im already feeling a bit emotional due to the hormones and have found myself in tears over minor things last week or so, normal I know. Bring in the exhaustion and I have a short fuse to boot.

Husband is trying but works full time. Doesn’t seem to get the impact tiredness and toddlers general behaviour is having on me. Then I’m grumpy and lo and behold we argue.

Now I’m starting to worry I won’t be able to handle two and mat leave is going to be a complete disaster with the above extended for months plus a newborn to contend with. Spiralling slightly, handholds welcome!

Wasn't expecting this to be a walk in the park by any stretch but struggling to see how a second time mum is meant to be getting the oxytocin going to get this baby out in this situation…

Ah you poor thing OP, the last few weeks of pregnancy are rough with small kids to look after. My babies were terrible sleepers until age 2 but hand on heart, nothing was more exhausting than the sheer physical fatigue of being 9 months pregnant and having to wrangle a just turned 3 year old. Even the newborn stage was not as bad as that and 2 DC just kept getting easier the older they got.

Hopefully your DH can take a bit of time off when baby is born? That would help a lot with getting into the swing of things with 2.

Thank you that does give a bit of reassurance. Night time sleep not that bad once asleep but 6am wake up plus the nap battle is exhausting. DH is off for a bit when the new arrival gets here. Think I’m also finding this a bit of a shock to the system as has to have ECS at 39 weeks last time due to various issues but at the time felt as fresh as a daisy/like I could keep going for weeks!

Oh I feel you. Especially when you mentioned the climbing all over you bit 😩 I had a baby last year and really was struggling when I hit this point. It seems with my toddler tiredness just causes all of these behaviours and he reaches a stage it’s like a madman, just running round trying to cause maximum destruction while laughing 😐 The hormones definitely do hit hard too. I went from struggling with him, to feeling so guilty and telling myself I was replacing him by having another baby. There was a day he was just eating lunch and did a really sweet smile and I burst into tears 😂 He was looking at me so confused.

When the baby arrived I very quickly realised I actually didn’t feel guilty as they were two completely different people needing such opposite things from me, there really was no competition. It is hard in the very early days. My toddler wasn’t at all interested in the fact we had a baby at first. As she’s reaching 6 months he is starting to become so much more helpful and actually wants to play with her now. He will occasionally still poke a finger in her eyes if left alone for even 10 seconds though 😑 But I swear you will get through it and those early days really do fly by. They’ll both be at school before you know it and this will all be a distant memory.. or so I’m telling myself 😂

Also my husband got a shock to the system when he was off for 2 weeks with him! He was like omg how do you cope with this 🤣

I’m 38 weeks with a 2.5yr old and I could have written this. All I want to do is sleep all day, I’m sure I wasn’t this tired last time!

I really relate to being climbed all over! It really grates on me being wriggled on from outside and inside.

I’m trying to make plans to leave the house everyday no matter how tired I am but our plans got cancelled today so we stayed home all day, watched too much tv, and I’m feeling like a rubbish mum but logically I know we are just in survival mode right now. I can’t even contemplate the fact I could have up to 4 weeks left 😫

I hear you! 38 weeks + 1 and have a 17 month old. C section booked for next Monday, so one week to go.

Not currently on mat leave yet but feeling the struggle more than ever in the mornings and evenings. My eldest was off nursery today as he's poorly whilst I was trying to juggle work... it's been a hard day!

Just so you know you aren't alone!

I felt like that. In comparison a newborn + toddler was a breeze compared to heavily pregnant + toddler. Hang on in there, it will get better

Survival mode is the right way to put it @Gruffalotea ! Today was the first day I gave up on any plans to leave the house. It’s not even the being out, it’s the amount of energy needed to be spent to even get out the door!! Weather was helpful excuse, but feeling awful about amount of tv time. If I manage to breastfeed again it’s going to be like this for a good while I guess.

Thank you @MountainBiker I kind of needed to hear this!

I am thrilled to hear this and hope it will apply to me!

OP @Chickenl8ter you could be me except my toddler is only 20 months, I'm also 39 weeks, toddler going part time to nursery and having mealtime silliness!
This pregnancy has been SO HARD compared to my first. I also felt like I could go on for ever last time, even at 41+5 on induction day I was quite comfortable and cheerful. This time, what with the PGP, varicose veins, tiredness, coughs and colds for toddler, I am struggling. I found myself wishing I would have some reason to attend the maternity unit to have to wait 4 hours for assessment just so I could sit down uninterrupted last week!
I find it helpful to insist DH does bedtime the days I have my toddler solo so I know come 6pm I'll be able to rest. Does yours help at all even if he's grumbling or are you having to do everything?

Haha @HiCandles yep anything for a sit down! I’ve not minded any awkward appointment times this time around! Good point on bedtimes, we tend to do whoever has the kid/collects them from nursery puts them to bed for continuity and also as usually the other person wouldn’t be home till much later due to compressed hours etc.. no reason why we can’t change it up temporarily though

@Chickenl8ter more empathy here! I'm 35w pregnant with pelvic girdle pain, still two weeks of work left and a 3.5 year old.

My dh is around during the week but was working all weekend and by Saturday night i was at breaking point with pain and exhaustion. I couldn't get off the couch and just burst into tears- bless her, my dd got a bit of a shock, she took my glasses off and wiped my tears with a baby wipe. I'm not sure how to get through up to 4 more weeks of this. On Sunday i just let her watch two movies back to back, the guilt is real.

My mum took dd for a sleepover last night to give me a breather, do you have any options like that? I've also asked my sister (younger, no kids yet) to come and help next weekend that my dh is working. So I guess that's something and at least work will be out of the equation soon...although from your example that may not necessarily help 🙈

I'm optimistic that even though it's tough, newborn phase will be easier than this. Certainly for me the pain and exhaustion of late pregnancy is worse than newborn days were last time.

Can you get to a charity shop? Spend a tenner on whatever rubbish he wants and you might get an hour or so of entertainment. I almost cleared out our local ones literally trying to buy myself some peace!

Scavenger hunts are also great. Lie on the sofa and challenge him to find something red/ bouncy/ soft etc. Reverse psychology is always good i.e. "I bet you can't find..."

If all else fails, "come here so I can change your nappy" always got DS1 running from the room. Unfortunately DS2 potty trained earlier than his brother, so I can't use that in this pregnancy 😭

I hope neither of us has to wait too much longer @Chickenl8ter . Though I fear it might be a grass is always greener situation here. Best of luck with everything!

@HiCandles here’s hoping! Best of luck with your new arrival

@Thankyouthankyoujellybean charity shop not a bad shout, like the scavenger hunt. We do a lot of doctors atm, I get to be the patient!!

My “day off” today so feeling a bit better about things. Still woke up at 5am annoyingly! But got out for a swim and now going to lie down all afternoon 🙌

Awe, I totally get how you feel. One of my worst days as a parent was being at the park with DS age 3yr 3 months and being almost 38 weeks pregnant. DS ran away and I just plodded after him trying to encourage his to stop. 15 minutes it took. I then walked back to the car with him over my shoulder kicking and screaming. And of course that walk involved meeting a mum from baby group with her perfectly behaved 3 year old too.

Toddlers are infuriating. I got through the newborn phase with snacks and tv for us both. I also found a really good toddler class at a local sports centre that was lead by someone. Ie, as opposed to me being involved. I just got to sit on a bench at the side and watch DS do songs/games etc with younger DS in the sling. It was bliss!

Can you increase nursery to full time? That's what I'm doing with my toddler once I'm 36 weeks and for the first three months with newborn. Feel guilty about it but it's definitely the best thing for him at that point.

@TheLovleyChebbyMcGee I can literally picture that scene and it happening to me, more reason to stay in front of the telly for a couple of days! My speed right now is that of a waddling penguin!

Like @MountainBiker I found having a toddler and a baby much easier than having a toddler and being heavily pregnant.

Op my youngest is 20 and I still have not forgotten the tiredness and climbing all overness from when I was that pregnant w no 2 3 and 4 (yes I did it that many times with a 2 year age gap)

Nothing like it. It's soo tiring.

I feel you. This was me last week - I delivered 7 days ago.

My toddler was such hard work in those final weeks and I felt so stressed. However, now the new baby is here, I also really miss having quality time with my toddler and feel guilty that I can't be there all the time for him. He keeps looking at me strange and doesn't want to cuddle as much, which is tough.

Try and enjoy the time you have left ❤️ sticking the tv on and not doing much is absolutely fine, and what's needed! Hope you have a safe delivery x

Hey OP, I TOTALLY feel you on this. My toddler is only 19 months but my god, I'm a wreck - and she's in nursery 4 days a week! I had such an easy pregnancy last time that I decided to work until my due date this time around...big mistake.

I sooooo wish I was off work at this point so I could just relax. Doesn't help that my toddler doesn't sleep, either. Praying it's like the others have said and as soon as our babies are born things will get much easier!

All the best for your remaining weeks x

Gosh I am struggling this evening. Toddler wants to watch TV but every 5 mins the programme is apparently wrong and he can't yet tell me the right one. Everything I try is wrong. Every nappy change is a battle. Every food I offer is wrong.
My pelvis feels like it's splitting in two and he keeps wanting to be picked up. Argghhh