New relationship baby

[Hlymamma]

Hello and congratulations everybody 👋☺️

I just wanted a bit of an outlet so here goes… basically, I’m starting to feel scared and wonder if I’m doing the right thing!

I met my babydaddy in August gone, we’ve had a bit of a whirlwind romance and our first vacation over Christmas where we had a couple of falling outs but other than that I loved spending time with him. He’s funny, giving, kind and all the things you’d want in a man really. I know 6 months isn’t a long time to have known somebody though which is what scares me. There are a couple of things I see in him that I don’t particularly love - he can be slightly arrogant at times and hes said/done some things that he’s later apologised for that fair enough haven’t been repeated, but they’re there.

He’s got a big family who are all close and has those amazing family values. I lost my mother in 2014 at only 23 years old and since then I don’t have close family of my own. I only have a couple of friends really. I know our baby will be so well loved and looked after by his family, but I can’t help thinking that if anything (god forbid) happened between us, I’d have a really hard time coping on my own.

Prior to this relationship, I was with someone for a few years and we were due to get married but I ended things because he’d been unfaithful. It wasn’t really that long before I met my current partner.

Everyone is so happy for us and nobody has expressed any concerns at all, either side! I have no doubt whatsoever that he’ll be an amazing dad, I just get scared that there might be stuff I don’t know about him yet, or there might be weird stuff I find further down the line. I don’t know, maybe I’m panicking over nothing. People keep telling me that time is nothing, and so many couples have met and had a baby/wed really quickly then stayed together forever and been blissfully happy.

Replies only make sense if a poster is tagged or quoted, the reply/add message button just means to the thread, not individual posts.

You're pregnant. He really isn't.

I have a feeling that you everyone to tell you it's a perfect, fairytale situation, Op.

Me and my partner had been together 6 months before we got pregnant
2 miscarriages later, we're still together and still loved up like two teenagers.

Do what makes you happy, time doesnt matter!! Good luck and congrats x

It’s almost like it’s better to wait until you know someone properly before you bring a life into the world that is dependent on your relationship. I’m not sure what you want here, but you’ve made your bed, and the baby’s.

I was with my eldest dds for the same amount of time. I left when she was 6 months old. He was a shitty dad then and he's a shitty dad now. He is a mistake the biggest one in my life, she is not. I will forever feel sad that she has such a wanker of a dad that I can do nothing to change now. I'm lucky to have met someone 6 years later who is a real positive in her life but it doesn't change the fact he's not her real dad and she's told me a few times she wishes he was. All round shitty situation for us/her and it's my fault I should have chosen better because she deserves it.

You really need to click the dots on the post and reply cos no one knows who you're replying to. I'm taking a punt this one is mine tho.

We'd been together three years when we had eldest, but he was a critically ill baby and then a very poorly baby for a long time. Now he's just complex. Then we had lockdown twins. The answer for it is to pull together not apart.if you disagree you need to talk it out.

I'd use this time to talk about everything. What does he expect from being a father? What does he think his role is? What does he think about private Vs state education? Discipline? Drinking under age? Childcare? Try and identify the niggles now.

Where will you live? How will he support you financially before baby comes and once baby comes? How often will he be there? What will he do?

The thing is though that it's you who's pregnant and it's you who will be left shafted if the relationship goes tits up. He may be financially solvent but you don't know he will definitely financially support the child if you split. You don't know he won't be vindictive and cover his finances and pay you less than the bare minimum. At this point you don't know he's not a domestic abuser even! I'm not saying he is, but you don't know. Having a baby with someone you don't know well is a huge risk and the risk is to you, barely to him. That's why pp used language like 'get yourself pregnant' because it's you who is at risk here not him.

So when this relationship breaks up will you be able to support yourself and the baby?

You need to be sure of that

Well you're pregnant now, so hope for the best! It might work out great.